h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

YES.

(It looks like we might have found one of them big scary injuns.
_

And a great big 'ezam_hoo' to you too big fella.
The committee was just looking at some feather samples.
It's that old 'where-war-wore-wear' thing. Y'know, the Brit thing, irony and indifferent hearing. "Rock knee slime" or "How the kilt conkered India".
But you're the one who has to ware the costume (I almost said custom!).
See anything ya like?


~jwf~

Indeed. Why must they shout?

We have a new patron who wants to take the blackout curtains out of the Snug and put flowers in the spittoons. Any comments?

Good grief, the next thing will be demands for soft loo paper in the Ladies.

Or having the windows washed.

*Comes to.*

Oh, good heavens. You've made me drop my clipboard!

Is shocking the members your idea of humor, Lil? You can't be serious.

Oh but she is ,very serious and I thankyou kindly Lil for putting my suggestions forward. I realise this must be a huge shock to you all and I mean no harm to anyone. Really ,I don't, but it is time to 'Deck the Halls with Boughs of Holly lalalalalala la la la la' If you don't let me put new curtains up I'll sing LOUDER ....

Point of order - whoever's in the Chair - that last chorus was pretty loud. Technically speaking, I doubt if she could sing much louder. Anyway, I find the blackout curtains rather comforting ... memories of cameraderie ... triumph of empire against adversity, and that sort of thing ... much like the sausage rolls.

Do you often get sentimental over the sausage rolls? There are some left in the Saloon Bar from when that pub crawl came through a few years back. As to redecoration, I think not. Before you know it it will be juke boxes, fizzy disco water promotions and scantily clad young girls thrusting their unmentionables in your face. And then where will we be?

Sorry? My mind was wandering for a moment. I was in total agreement up to the fizzy water bit ...

I believe this request is out of order. It really needs to be brought before the Sub-committee for Subversive and Bad Behavior first. Must follow protocol you know.

*Makes notes on clipboard pad.*

What about a deep fat fryer for the kitchen? I think we'd get more benefit from that than new curtains or ~gasp~ Christmas decorations. Besides, we still have that old paper chain that was put up back in the 50's. We're already decorated.

That's right. And we did a whole tartan makeover several years ago. I really don't like the idea of change at all, but of course that's why I frequent this establishment.

Except for the deep fat fryer. It's been under consideration since the kitchen was first built. I move that we allot funds for the purchase and installation of a deep fat fryer. It will pay for itself in orders of chips, soon enough.

The effects of that change would be minimised if we continue to use the old fat ...

*thumbs through her copy of Robert's Rules of Order* We need a second for my motion, then we have discussion, then we vote.

I second the motion for the deep fat fryer.

I must stand against the deep fat fryer. Mostly due to a medical complaint I shall not go into, but also because I see no reason why we cannot continue to use the Morris Minor engine block as is traditional.
I would also like to remind the chair that i have been petitioning to have the paper chain taken down for a number of years now. It introduces a dangerous level of frivolity as well as carrying a dangerous level of dust on it which may one day drop off and put the fire out.

We've been using the ingine block for the sausage rolls, but we can't fit a chip basket into the sump.

Munchkin, are you inserting a paper chain amendment into this deep fat fryer motion?