h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You mean you've never seen it Tocc? I used to grow it.

Wasn't that Shake'n'vac Dr. Insidious?

*pushes the ever-increasing mountain of council tax bills aside and forces one eye open*



Inraname arraweeman, ahv goat tae lay aff rat bevvy. Ah kid swerr ah've jist seen wanna rae white-eart elephants.

Bit afore a dae rat, ah'll huvva boatill ae ra hoos Buckie wee man...

...urr shoodrat be big man?

Ta.

Invoking me again are we? Have some Bucky and be off with you. You're lowering the tone, which is something we can quite happily do on our own, thankyou.

Dang, it's that unintelligible fellow again.

"Dang"

Noo hingoanaminnit rerr Jimmy. Ah've bin callt a loata things in ma shoart unevenfil suburban life, maista rame deservt, bit nae c**t, absaf****nlutely nae c**t hiz ever callt me George Bush afore.

hrrrmph!

*drinks his apertif, thanks Munchkin by not passing on any diseases, and crawls back into his council tax nest*

Hmmm, I think it may be necesary to convene a meeting of a sub-committee to consider the putting forward to a higher committee of a proposal to consider discussing the drafting of an interim addenda to the rules as to the usage of political insults in a jovial alcohol laced situation and possible timetableing of the implementation thereof.

How about if you just put up a sign that says you'll evict anyone who compares anyone else to a member of any government?

please. I deserve one for nearly understanding what you said.

Fairy Snuff.
*Adds the above words to the Temporary Rule Board in a nice shade of Pink Crayon. The above words being Lil's about eviction, incidently, and not about a particular brand of nasally ingested tobacco*

As it was Lil who called Squire Wuckfitt unintelligible and thus likened him to Dubya, are we to take it that she is proposing a motion to evict herself? If so I'd recommend giving the Snughound a lovely carrot-beaded coat as a swifter means of banishment. It always works for me.

Suburban?

I've got an embroidered coat, but the Snughound can just keep his paws off it thank you very much. 24 carrot?

Would be handy if you had to take som erabbits home in it I suppose.

Are erabbits the sort you get round ear then?

Stop! You can't depersonalise our fluffy little bunnykin friends. Let the rabbits find there own way home.

Presumably to their eburrows where their efamily eawaits.
*D___ my typing*

*pats Munchkin*

Their, rare, they're. Now what's all this about rabbits at the Somme?

There's a very strange one just down the road. Normally roadkill tends to lie fairly flat but this one has all sorts of legs and things sticking up at odd angles. You haven't been dabbling in that newfangled installation art have you?

If you are quick you can probably sell it to someone called Saatchi. I believe they like that sort of thing.

Maybe the rabbits have installed new drivers? Any sign of the Holy Grail?

"Punto drivers"

Damn! Damn! Damn! Missed it.