Jimmy's Tinnamint - nae pishin' up ma close
Oh it's you ya bampoat, cum oan in if yiv brunga bevvy wi ye, otherwise ye kin get yer a**e oota here. Welcome tae ma humble Glesga tinnamint wherr ahm gonny sherr ra accumulatit wizdum ahv gaint oor ra years. In wipe yer f****n' feet oanra nocked-aff mat fur chrisesaik, ah waant ye tae drag ra dirt oot wi ye, no in.
Right, ah suppose yiv came oor here tae dae yer nosey in see if ahm yet anurra vershinna Tefkat. Well awright then, ah'll gie ye ma CV inren ye kin decide fur yersel, ya glaikit c**t. Ah still cannae understaun how nae c**t'll gie me a joab efter ah fillt inra form rae gave me itra broo:-
NAME
James MacGonagall Wuckfitt RIP
ADDRESS
c/o Rapolis, Glesga (weekends)
DOB
Naw ahm no.
TELEPHONE
Kin ye believe it? Ye pay good dosh furra dodgy state-a-ra-art phone doon ra Barras, in ren some bastirt goesin nicks it
EMAIL
Noo hing oan rerr. Whit dis it metter if ahm wannarae ladyboys or no?
MARITAL STATUS
Merrit wi' nae wee bastirts no rat its any a your bizness ya smarmy suitit chantywrassler.
HEALTH
Noo wait a f****n' minute here big man. Ahm fae Glesga inyer askin' me if ah've goat any a yon funny Edimbra health stuff. Oan yer bike ya chantywrassler.
EDUCATION
Ah lernt how tae drink meths when ah wis twelve (breathe oot whin yer swallyin'). Ma maw callt me her wee pished prodigy efter rat, in stoaped plankin' ra glue.
TRAINING
Could use ra chanty wi'oot minny splashes by ra time ah wis twintywan, but ah've loast ra knack since ren.
WORK HISTORY
Used tae sign oan wance a week, but rae noticed ah wis gettin' auld in couldnae cope wira stress, sorae cut it tae wance a foartnight.
INTERESTS & AMBITIONS
Gonn furra good swally in ren closespottin'. It's a bit like trainspottin', ye go oot furra bevvy inren write doon ra street number o' ra closes ye pish up. Ma favrit is 35 Gerdner Street in Pertick, when ah pished ooti a windae three flights up. Ah'm gonny try furra Scoatish height record set by Jimmy (nae relashun) McConologue it Rid Road flats in 1984 (27 flerrs in still pishin' when it hit ra grun - whitta man), but ah keep gettin' dizzy when ahm practisin' up rat revolvin' to'or.
REFERENCES
Ah don't know any a yon ministers, will a referee dae? Ah met wan wan night in Saint V's bogs when ah couldnae find a close.
FURTHER COMMENTS
Geezajoab ya bass, urr ahll malky ye.
Oh, in if ye wur wundrin aboot ra RIP, it stauns fur Ratarsed in Parkheid, ah added it aw offishul like, deed poll in awrat (jist like yon Marie Currie bint).
Latest Messages
| Messages left for this Researcher | Posted |
|---|---|
| Hi Jimmy... | Mar 24, 2003 |
| Ya Chootker | May 29, 2002 |
| Erm.. | May 26, 2002 |
| Hatefully cute smiley response | May 16, 2002 |
Conversations
| Conversation Title | Latest Post | Latest Reply |
|---|---|---|
This section will display details of any Postings this Researcher makes, when they get around to talking to the rest of the Community. Conversations are really fun and are the best way to meet people, as well as the best way to get people to visit your own Personal Space, so lets hope they join in soon. | ||
Jimmy Wuckfitt RIP
Researcher U193762
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