h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I think ill start the ball rolling

wibble snibble gibble

thats a good start

The gumchee is rising and the frurbling lamposts whinny profoundly at manafold kitchen countops made in Spain, whilst he KiTKiTKITKiT bird cries 'escorchio' at the tribe of sandwich

Once upon a grumbly bore
on a pink and aqua shore
Sat a shark eating cheese
Out of a packet made of peas
He got up he's thee no more.

kill the shark before he eats me AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH

The aspidistra looked on limply as the rug wrestled with the antimacasar.

and just then a great big turnip appeared and started doing the fandanago

but was struck by lighting and die instantly

Greetings. As a member of FootiNooti I think that I should inject a shread of sanity into this thread. However, I'd much rather do this: Once upon a time there lived a flibble. Most flibbles are neon covered, but thisone preferred tartan, and he lived happily ever after. Thank you!zoopzoopzoopzoopzibbleflibble! Again, thank you and goodnight (or whatever).

Overheard on the bus this week...
"If I were to marry a fruit... it would be a kiwi"

Funniest thing I've heared in ages!

why is that funny

didn't say funny...
just wierd thing to say.
& in context still sounded wierd.

You should have seen my friend's face...
he's from new zealand -a kiwi.
Averting the eyes from conversants is somewhat more difficult when blood is rapidly rushing to the head. we're gonna bring up guava ratings tomorrow.

Swimmy, everything just sorta started to turn swimmy.
I remember that part out of So Long and Thanks for All the Fish.

I'm sorry.
Just seem to be running low on interesting an odd things that are going about where I live.

Um,- they don't let you on the airplane at the local airport,- if you are wearing hair-gel. Not sure what's up with that.
Supposing i has to do with flammability...
Wouldn't a person who's head was on fire be actually kind of obvious though,- perhaps?
I don't know, 'coz I'm not them.
Well... , pretty sure that walking around like that... is not the latest big- fad. Then again...
.

Argh, my 'd' and 't' keys seem to have gotten stuck.
That's .

WELL HERES MINE

KATE
The internet is really really great
TREKKIE MONSTER
For porn
KATE
I’ve got a fast connection so i don’t have to wait
TREKKIE
For porn
KATE
Huh?
There's always some new site,
TREKKIE
For porn!
I browse all day and night
TREKKIE
For porn!
KATE
It's like i’m surfing at the speed of light
TREKKIE
For porn!
KATE
Trekkie!

TREKKIE
The internet is for porn
KATE
Trekkie!
TREKKIE
The internet is for porn,
KATE
What are you doing!?
TREKKIE
Why you think the net was born?
Porn porn porn

KATE
Treee—kkie!
TREKKIE
Oh hello kate monster
KATE
You are ruining my song
TREKKIE
Oh me sorry, me no mean to
KATE
Well if you wouldnt mind please being quiet for a minute so i can finish?
TREKKIE
Me no talkie
KATE
Good

I’m glad we have this new technology
TREKKIE
For porn
KATE
Which gives us untold opportunity
TREKKIE
For por—oops, sorry
KATE
Right from you own desktop
TREKKIE
For ---
KATE
You can research browse and shop
Until you’ve had enough and your ready to stop
TREKKIE
FOR PORN!!


Trekkie!
TREKKIE
The internet is for porn!
KATE
Noooo
TREKKIE
The internet if for porn!
KATE
Trekkie
TREKKIE
Me up all night honking me horn to porn, porn, porn!

KATE
That’s gross you’re a pervert
TREKKIE
Ah, sticks and stones Kate monster
KATE
NO really, your a pervert
Normal people don’t sit at home and look
At porn on the internet
TREKKIE
Ohhhh?
KATE
What?!
TREKKIE
You have no idea
Ready normal people?

NORMAL PEOPLE
Ready--- ready ----ready

TREKKIE
Let me hear it!

TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!
PRINCETON
Sorry kate
TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!
PRINCETON
I masturbate!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
All these guys unzip their flies
For porn, porn, porn!

KATE
The internet is not for porn!!

TREKKIE AND GUYS
PORN!, PORN, P---

KATE
HOLD ON A SECOND!

Now i know for a fact that you, Rob, check your portfolio and trade stocks online

ROB
That’s correct.

KATE
And Brian, you buy things on Amazon.com

BRIAN
Sure!

KATE
And Gary, you keep selling your possesions on Ebay

GARY
Yes I do!

KATE
And Princeton, you sent me that sweet online birthday card

PRINCETON
True!

TREKKIE
Oh, but Kate-
What you think he do . . .after? hmm?

PRINCETON
. .yeah

KATE
EEEWWWWW!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!
KATE
Gross!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!
KATE
I hate porn
TREKKIE AND GUYS
Grab your dick and double click
KATE
I hate you men!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
For porn, porn, porn!
(harmonizing) porn, porn, porn, porn
KATE
I’m leaving!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
Porn, porn, porn, porn
porn, porn, porn, porn
KATE
I hate the internet!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
Porn, porn, porn, porn

TREKKIE
The internet is for

TREKKIE AND SOME
The internet is for

TREKKIE AND ALL
The internet is for PORN!

TREKKIE
YEAH!

Traveller in Time browsing the Guide
"You can also read and write on the WEB. It is your own choise "

Hi gosh well you cant get any wearder than that! or maybe you can!

tried

Believe me.It can.