h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Did you know that if you work and own your own home you will get no help from the government if you fall ill?

Did you know that if you never work a day in your life the government will keep you forever and your ten kids if you choose to have them?

If you come here from a foreign country the government will house you and give you food vouchers?

My partner nearly died after a terrible accident, he was on a life support machine and will need approx 6-8 months off work, he can hardly walk, and his arm is paralysed. I will look after him for a while. WE HAVE BOTH ALWAYS WORKED AS HAVE OUR PARENTS yet we get less money than those who have never CONTRIBUTED into the system. We receive £21 a week between us and £50 SSP no help with our mortgage, the DSS told us to sell our house.

Is it just me or is this wrong? A couple from Kosovo get their rent paid and £57 a week food vouchers, they are better off than we are.

We will be back at work soon keeping all the lay abouts again, yet in our hour of need we get hardly any help.

What would you do if this happened to you?
Is it not time we all complained?

The trouble with working for a living is that it never prepares you to work the system.

Talk to the Citizen's Advice Bureau. You may find that your partner is entitled to Incapacity Benefit, which should boost your income. It's not Means Tested so your income shouldn't affect how it's paid.

When dealing with the DSS, the first sacrifice you make should be your pride. Stop caring about how the world sees you for the duration of your crisis. Quit your job and become a full time carer for your partner. Better yet, arrange to be made redundant. That way, you should be able to claim all kinds of stuff including help with your mortgage. But whatever else you do, get in touch with the C.A.B. I can speak from experience, they're excellent at pointing you in the right direction and helping people deal with exactly this kind of problem.

When dealing with the DSS, they refuse you for pretty much anything. What you have to do is appeal three times and you get it. Presumably the logic behind it is if you just let it go, you dont really need it. In truth .

Seriously though, appeal against any decision three times and it goes your way.

Lucky bri.
What can i say? The system stinks! If i knew how to change it i would. The Gov. is too SOFT with outsiders and too hrsh with it's citizens. But you MUST fight any decision you do not agree with!! This is vital. Failure to do so indicates acceptance of their decisions. Charity begins at home...literally. I don't know if h2g2 will let me tell u this, but there are a number of web sites that specialise in advising u of 'the system' and it's shortcuts. From personal experience i can tell u that they work ! It's not right that we should have to go to these lengths to beat the system BUT IT CAN BE BEATEN!

Lets hope u live up to your nickname eh!?

Hey, chill man

If you beleive in outsiders and insiders, them and us, theres nothing I can do about that - but please remember this. H2G2 is an international community - and a warm friendly place to be. Lets try to keep it that way

It's some comfort (a commodity which is still a non-taxable benefit!) to learn that there are others in the same situation as myself - though it also has to be admitted, 'comfort' doesn't pay bills or feed a family!
That said, my experiences mirror those expressed elsewhere with ref. to working hard to little or no avail, and seeing others blatantly "working the system" and enjoying far more financial independence: it's easy, in certain circumstances, to think "What am I doing wrong?"
The esay answer is somethimes: nothing. 'Nothing' in the sense of "Nothing illegal" - and the near-automatic response "More fool you"
Just because others break the law, however, has never seemed to me justification to follow their example .... tempting though the economic incentives might be!

Britain, or the world for that matter has always been kinda mad. Propably has to do with the somewhat illogical base of society.

Honestly you should say 'Has Britain gone sane?'
That would get peoples attention.

Got this Via e-mail:
Only in Britain...
can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Britain...
do Supermarkets make the sick people walk all the way to
the back of the store to get their prescriptions while
healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain...
do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries,
And a DIET coke.

Only in Britain...
do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to
the counters.

Only in Britain...
do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the
drive and put our junk and cheap lawn mower in the
garage.

Only in Britain...
do we buy hot dogs in packs of ten and buns in packs of eight.

Only in Britain...
do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
have 'call waiting' so we won't miss a call from
someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on
their tongue.

142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all
pins from new shirts.

58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives
instead of screwdrivers.

31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their
Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that
Christmas decorations were chocolate.

British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year
after cracker pulling accidents.

101 people since 1999 have had to have broken parts of
plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new
jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last
two years after opening bottles of beer with their
teeth.

5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving
out of control Scalextrix cars.

and finally.........

In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst
throwing up into the toilet!

so Has Britain Gone Mad?

Z Phantom

No it's not true, we've got the best Police Force, Health Service, Democratic System etc, etc..........or we mighthave had up until 1979. Then we got MAGGIE, and the rest is history or herstory, whatever.........

Z,

Have you ever visited anywhere alse in the world. Most of what you say applies equally to Canada (where I now live.) I would say it is also true in the US and probably many other places too.

Corollary: the whole world is mad and always has been (at least since the Golgafrinchams butted in!)

Philbert

Everyone working from home should take out personal accident insurance. Most people don't think about the consequences untill it's too late.

Alji

Well er yes, that is true We'll do it straight away, find one of those excellent British self-regulated Insurance Policies which state quite clearly and in microscopic detail that they're not worth the paper they're written on and thank you for your money for SSSSodalllll.

I am going to live in Britain as soon as I finish University. The system might be mad, but it is not worse than the German system ( I am German). I think it's perfectly ok to support refugees who come to a country in search of shelter- why not? See it this way: if they work, people will say "They are stealing our jobs" If they don't work, people will say "They get money for nothing". So what are they supposed to do? We who are better off than all the poor folks in the world have a responsibility to take care of them.
I know that it's not okay not to work a single day and be supported for being lazy, but there's not too much one can do about it, is there?
My mother works 6 hours a day (part time job) for a dentist and has never learnt anything after leaving school, for she had to be mother and housewife. She earns less money than her colleague who was trained as a cook- that's got nothing to do with her current job, but she still earns more than my Mum in the same job. That's unfair, but that's the system, and you have to be grateful to be employed. Sh*t happens, but that's life!
Sorry for my horrible English... blame my teacher!

Sticking to topic, L we agree it is not a perfect world. The Brits do however have a reputation to live up to, one of eccentricity. And though we have awffffften gawn beyawnd the eccentric in the past, we the invetors of the concentration camp, poll tax and more recently, defended aging foriegn dictators responsible for the murder and dissappearance of thousands. (This after boasting for fifty years how we single handed defeated fascism)repeatedly voted in that defender of mass murderers, who was seen visibly foaming at the mouth on more than one occasion. This was a real sign that there had been another massive loss of THE PLOT in the country.

Our Judiciary never had it to lose, the Clergy repeatedly claim that they know nothing of it and the Monarchy don't want it known.

No Not Gone, you can not Go from what you clearly Are.

Be fair, the majority of the Judiciary are sensible, hard working and get it iright the majority of the time.
But that doesn't make good headlines.

As to those who seem to be putting a nasty streak of xenophobia into the discussion, just a word of warning. If you want any form of NHS, Public Services, Pension or any of that other good stuff, you'd better be prepared to put up with immigration, because the British work force is declining. Fast.
Ask any long term political and/or financial analyst.

Can't remember all the details, but I once read some statistics which ran (approx.) as follows:-

Population of GB is roughly 58 million.
Of this total, 25% are pensioners, no longer working. - 14 million

Remainder: c. 44 million

Approximately half the population is still in full time education and not available for work. - 29 million

Remainder: c. 15 million

From this remainder those who are unavailable for work due to caring for other (school age, elderly or long-term sick) members of immediate family have to be discounted. [Estimate] - 1 million

Remainder: c. 14 million

Deduct those registered as unemployed [fairly constant figure @ c. 2 million] - 2 million

Remainder: c. 12 million

Make allowances for those of independent means who do not NEED to seek employment, and a figure to represent those who choose to emigrate [Estimate] - 1 million

Remainder: c. 11 million

Those in prisons, secure mental health institutions etc are not available for employment - 1 million

Remainder: c. 10 million

The EFFECTIVE working population is thus c. 17% of the TOTAL population.

Make allowances for those im PART-TIME employment (e.g. 2 x part-timers = I full-time job) and this figure dips again, and could [at least in theory] become as low as 10% of the TOTAL population "supporting" the other 90% by carrying out all the work done on a daily basis .....

You might think you're working hard, but here's the BAD news ...

I've bought my ticket, and I'm EMIGRATING

We're right behind you, so long as it's nowhere near Zimbabwe, Iraq, Iran, Bradford or Tunbridge Wells

You're welcome to tag along!
Bit surprised you included Tunbridge Wells on your 'No-go list' though: I remember the plea "From Hell [self-explanatory] Hull [debtors' prison] and Halifax [gallows] may the Good Lord deliver us" but what's wrong with Tunbridge Wells??? I sympathise with the poor s*ds in Bradford, of course: we can't ALL live on the CORRECT side of the Pennines ... [remember the war.....]

We take back Bradford, as it has the finest Curry Houses int the Western World (probably)! But we know Tunbridge Wells too well. The "Disgusteds Of" it has by the Civic Worthy Load, self-interested, self-important, stuck-up anuly-retentive bigots. They'd declare the place select if they we're not already blood line hereditary in-bred Nimby's to the core.

It's a slow suffocating death awaits anyone within ten miles of that place. You wake up one morning with a receding chin, a sad pretentious sneer on your lips and a biopic gaze down iether side of your nostrils that defies the ability to so much as glimpse the horizon. And your probably a barking Thatcherite.

Aha!! Yes, I'd forgotten how many members of the family "Disgusted" live in Tunbridge Wells For no particular reason, I am now totally UNABLE to cease re-playing in my head a 2 Ronnies sketch set in an Indian restaurant and including the immortal line "Dix gustings??? That's an awful lot of Gustings ..... "

Thank you, Ronnie Barker, and goodnight