h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*looks round*
So many skeletons, looks like everyone perished here, poor things.

*peeks out from the hole*

Is it safe yet?

If you see Indiana Jones come running our way then run like
**ck!

*Yaaaaaawn*

*Streeeetch*

What a good nights sleep I had. I feel like I've been asleep for the best part of 6 years.

Perfectly rested. But boy is my neck stiff.

That's what comes of sleeping in a damp place and using a skull as a pillow.

Hmm....
Up to more skullduggery I see.

Alas, poor Yorrick.
I told him that sulphuric acid was too severe for a facial scrub.

Ooh. Nasty.

not to worry, CSI can make a reconstruction using a computer programme.
That and some modelling clay and he'll be as good as new.

Would Morph in Armani on a catwalk be "modeling clay"?

Dark room, creepy music, stealthy footsteps outside
and the sound of a gun being cocked.
Yes, I have this overwhelming urge to open the door and ask,
"is anyone there?"

Oooh, to open this door or not?
Best not be too hasty.

*bounces out of the hole*

I don't know, it's been so long I'm sure anything in there would want to welcome us coming and hanging out!

I've seen enough cop movies to know what to do.
*cocks shotgun* Ok we come in peace.

OK, you've got the gun, I'll get the door.

*flutters over to the door, determined not to show fear and to be cheery and bold in the face of adversity*

*she lifts the latch, gives it a gentle tug and watches it roll open...*

*ducks*

"Who let the ducks out, quack-quack!"

You know what... I don't think there's actually anyone in there.

*flutters through the door*

Coo! They left some shiny stuff though!

I knew those 100 of your favourite brass band tunes CDs would come in
useful one day. They make perfectly shiny mobiles to lure the unsuspecting.

*swoops down from the cealing from within the room behidn the door*

oh... hi... err... hello. oops.