h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Arl finds himself alone in a cavernous maze of passages. It seems to be a natural cave structure, and -- wait! As his eyes adjust to the darkness he remembers he's got a flashlight, fishes it out of his pocket, and looks around. This passage has been carved! There's a train track down the middle, and a small cart sits unused upon it. He quickly runs over, examines the cart, sees that it is in perfect condition, even has a working headlamp, break, and (can you belive it?) a motor! He hops in, not waiting to see if the dogs are following him, revs the motor, and spurts off down he passage, not knowing where he's going.*

Wow. Convinient, that!

The faint, melodious, echo in the tunnel resolves into the sound of 10,000 indigenous miners singing Cwm Rhondda

*sticks a thumb out to passing mining cart*

Can you take a hitchhiker>

OOC: boy, you lot don't half jump threads!

[YK enters.]

[YK] Hi. What's going on?

[Mackenzie enters.]

[Mackenzie] Somebody detonated bombs here, and I think I sensed Darth Corrigible around here.

[YK] Cool.

*Slows momentarily to grab Sarge and Cleo and pull them into the cart*

I think the dogs may be following us, but I didn't wait to find out.

*Takes off again, with redoubled speed*

*a puzzled Dog appears in the tunnel*

*waves to Granny*

Granny Old Gal, didn`t one of our Sopwith Pups shoot you orf your broomstick at the Cathouse dog fight ? Wondered where you`d ended up. Boys thought you`d gorn for a burton. Glad to see you survived pranging the cabbage crate, what. Pip Pip !

*Mills around in a confused way for a while wondering which way they went*

*tumbles thru the hole onto red dog*
sorry old chap, lost me footing a bit there, what? I say, theres a bally traintrack running down here, what? and look, here is a plush high speed train. its probably old peregrins, what? escape car and whatnot. id bet that that rascal went thataway, what? we'd better wait for the other chaps before we name the train. oh, dont worry old boy, pery is an old mucker of mine from CHOPPERS dontchaknow?

* When did this become a scene from a bad Disney musical?*

*takes Arl to one side* its more of an RAF wartime banter thing rather than a Dick Van Dyke thing. Lots of people get confused don`t feel too bad about it ... check out http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F75071?thread=135488 Oooof. Splendid old chap simply splendid, glad to help out cushion the old fall what. *dusts himself down and looks around* Here have you checked this second carriage out .... bar, comms system, cigar rack. Must be Perrers executive jobby. Hurrah !

[Corrigible] [entering in mid sentence] ... somebody explain to me why we're chasing Arl and who's on who's side??

YK: You're not chasing me. You're trying to rescue me from Red Dog and UH, remember? The Cats and SG and sea and I are on one side, UH from CHOPPERS is on the side with the dogs and everyone!



*Continues down the passageway. Passes several miners and waves.*

*shouts to miners in a strange language made up of 25 constonants and one vowel that sounds like a cat with a furball being slowly strangled*



Hey boyo`s, that Arl has ben saying bad things about wales see. Try and catch him and give him a good licking see.



*10,000 miners start to look at Arl menacingly and start to hum men of Arl-lick*

Yes it`s another stunningly bad Pun from CHOPPERS newest recruit *applause*

Meanwhile Granny explains to Morgan the Mines that what that mangy cur was really saying in his mangled Welsh was that the WRU was a load of rubbish & they couldn't sing for bara brith and that Joe Calzaghe is a big girl's blouse!

10,000 angry miners slowly turn to face the dogs...........

*Considers going back and arresting Red Dog for contributing to the delinquency of miners, but remembers what happened the last time he arrested Red Dog. Instead, starts blasting the Super Furry Animals over some loud speakers on the sides of the railcar. (NOTE: Super Furry Animals are a Welsh band who record their songs in Welsh. The title of the album he is playing now is "Mwng".)*

[YK covers his ears]

[[YK took extra damage due to his Sound weakness!]]

*After finnishing dusting, Arty jumps into the hole and attempts to put the miners to sleep with just the right sound, but the blaring music gets in the way. instead, he takes out his handy-dandy rocket powered roller skates (never leave home without 'em),places them on the tracks, gets in and starts them up. With a considerable effort, he stays standing.*

here I come!

*notices that he is once again going the wrong way*

Stiblig! (exclamatory improvisation)

*falls off the tracks, rolling to a stop among the cross braces. He then stands up, slips on the rollerskates again, and bashes his head rather badly*

My, I'm terrible at chases.

*Finds a ladder leading up to a manhole. Stops the car and shouts to his passengers* Everyone up this way! I've got a psychic intuition... *Climbs the ladder, opens manhole and finds space/time portal* Cool, I think I was right... *Leads everyone through the portal. When everyone is in, the ladder disappears* The Portal leads: http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F54234?thread=88926&post=1358070#p1358070

*pasuing only to shoot the stereo to stop the sounds of the super furries, UH scrambles up the ladder*

*irritatingly its the wrong ladder and it goes no where*

right. did you plant that secret bug on arl that hes never going to find? good. lets get his signal and teleoprt in

*shrugs shoulders and shakes head*

*realises how odd that looks*