h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hmmmm, I think that Arl has stuck us into a continuity loop.

*gets out spectacles and consults his h2g2 manual*

What we need to do is just stick a metaphorical spanner into the time and space continuum works thingy and when the whole thing grinds to a halt the Universe will have to reboot itself and he should magically pop into existance at the end of the thread to avoid a paradox.

If I understand this manual correctly I believe that this might be achieved using a timepiece and a balloon to act as representative physical manifestations of time and space and an entropic heat sink such as a cup of . We wrap the watch in a hankie and smash it, burst the balloon and drink the .

That should do the trick nicely.

OK get me a watch, a ballon and a cup of .

[Mackenzie gives him a balloon]

*makes one tick on checklist*

.. and in the interests of moving the plot along I`ll supply the timepiece.

*unstraps watch*

*makes second tick on checklist*

Now where do we get that cuppa from ?

*thinks welsh miners ..... thinks lunchboxes*

A-ha !

*scurry`s off*

*returns*

I had to sit through some excrutiating poetry, sign some songs and promise to go to several Eisteddfords dressed as a Druid .... oh and I have to learn to pronounce Cwmbran properly.

BUT I GOT THE CUP OF

Right must remember - smash watch, burst balloon, drink ..... smash watch, burst balloon, drink . OK here we go ....

*smashes watch, lets go of balloon which whizzes around tunnel before disappearing, and spills *

Oooops !

*Everything goes black for an instant, silence reigns, all is quiet*

*Reaches the ladder from the other direction.*

Hey! How did you guys get here? I took the opposite direction, thinking that Arl would think that nobody would think of doing that and hence would do it himself. I guess this train track is circular or something.

*Climbs the ladder into the portal.*

*Looks around bewildered for a moment.*

Oh, you had another led, did you? Well, how about that!

*The balloon smacks into his face.*

Ow.

*Telepathically Projected Voice of Arl*

Hey, you guys! You're not in a continuity loop! You just failed to notice that I pulled the ladder up with me when I climbed it. Y'all have to go back the way you came and try to find me in a more conventional manner!

or, just get a ladder. I opened the portal, but you'd better hurry. he keeps wielding it shut.

Why bother with a ladder? just jump, with these little bits of Flubber(tm) that I brought.

*realizes that he's on the exact opposite side of the circular track, and only hears the others through a trick in the rock. Arty then sets out at a jog, arriving at the others within five minutes.*

Why bother with a ladder? just jump, with these little bits of Flubber(tm) that I brought.

*He tosses a bit flubber to each of the dogs, and sticks some to his own shoes. he then jumps straight into the portal. Only then does he realize that he has no idea where the portal is, and cracks his head rather badly again on the top of the cave. Arty then looks around, and sees the portal, and finally leaps in.*

[YK and Mackenzie, realizing that they are of no use whatsoever, cease to exist in this forum. Bye bye.]

*Watches carefully how the flubber works. Puts his portion, which looks rather small, on his shoes. Carefully positions himself under the portal and jumps. The flubber is just sufficient to bounce his head through the portal, but nothing else. Shortly thereafter, he discovers another problem. When he falls back to the ground after not completely entering the portal, the flubber bounces him back up again, to the same height.

Thus, his head appears and disappears at regular intervals on the other side of the portal.*

::stands at the other end of the portal and snags his head. pulls him up. doesn't remove the flubber(tm) from his shoes, but does replace the cover on the portal once everyone is through. wonders about the effect of flubber(tm)-laced shoes in 0 gravity. giggles.::

*Busterbone finally arrives, lands arse-first onto piece of flubber and proceeds to bounce up and down violently on bottom.*

Help, help my bottom is being flubbed to death.

we went upstairs

Bum.

*manages to bounce his way upstairs*

*A lone Shiur, under orders, could be seen (if anyone were ther to see him) strategically placing small explosive charges along two walls of the cave. He then moves to sealing off the active part of the mine and its passage to the exit from the rest of the cave network. he leaves through the hole in the floor of the storeroom, and presses his small remote plunger. There is a loud explosion, and the two walls collapse, allowing flow of the water table through the now-deserted combat area. The entire space should be flooded soon. The Shiur covers the hole with some quick-spray cement and fades. Only once home does he realize that the water table was so low in the area that only a tricle would actually flow through the space. Well, at least the hole is covered.*

I'm not sure what Art just did.
I'm either safely upstairs or I'm drowning.

Can someone let me know please

Methinks you're safe. He did say the area was empty

Whew!!

Erm...aren't you a dog?