h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Perhaps one of the greatest enemies of worthwhile procrastination is time.

A recent visit to A516647 (The Manifesto for the Campaign to rename Thursday, "Thing" page) resulted in the drafting of an erm draft plan that, if it is ever to get off the ground, is going to need serious consideration and ultimately masses of amounts of time and energy from countless thousands (or at least a few dozen, initially, ok, maybe just 2 or 3) supporters.

And who better to approach than avowed Procrastinators I asked myself?

To the cunning plan.

You know that nagging feeling you get when asked a question along the lines of :

"When will you / your project / your assignment / your thesis / your tax return / our dinner / etc be ready?"

Well, one day this nagging feeling could be a thing of the past!

How about we (comrades ) hitch a ride on the coat-tails of the brigade, and introduce into the lingua franca of the world today (well, ok, maybe the world of tomorrow... well, someday before we all die perhaps) a few new descriptive noun type thingamies which are cunningly designed to sound like adjectives or whatever - grammar is not the point here...

New Name // Sounds Like // Means

Shaughtly // Shortly // It's on my list, I promise
Verisune // Very Soon // After I have finished
Leighter // Later // If h2g2 crashes, it might get a look in
Naugh // Now // To be honest, I'd forgotten all about it
Onthyme // On Time // So late you will have forgotten you ever asked

As this proposal is not deemed to be urgent by anyone like your boss / clients / significant other / local petty bureaucrat / etc., I am expecting your replies forthwith. I mean, even if you think the idea is potty, dashing off a reply sure beats the blazes out of actually doing something!

Trouble is, you see, the "new name" appears to be longer than the "sounds like" !
OK if you`re SAYING it, but writing it, ....well... more effort required.
Sorry, can`t see any benefit, but I may be wrong.
If I get some time ,I`ll think about it again...possibly.

The benefit, if I may use your word, is that the new words are designed solely for verbal use.

Writing them and/or (perish the tedious and time-consuming thought) spelling them out would only be used in a tribunal hearings / arbitration proceedings / almighty rows / etc and it is here that their worth would be realised.

e.g.
"May I point out to you, members of the jury / uber lieutenant / darling / etc that when I said what you heard as 'I will attend to the matter shortly', I actually said 'I will attend to the matter shaughtly', which as you well know simply implies that 'It's on my list, I promise.'
The defense rests / gizza cuddle hun / etc."

If this works, procrastination might well rise in the eyes of the proletariat to the dizzy heights we ardent followers inately know it deserves.

Or maybe we'll just get fired / sued / divorced / etc that much quicker, leaving more time to focus on truly worthwhile tasks such as ... hmmm, do you know, i can't remember what they are...

Oh yes! h2g2 and pubs etc

OK, you win
Arguing takes such a lot out of one, dont you think?
*The Prosecution withdraws, having no evidence / will to live / worthwhile arguments to offer / booze left......*

Very good SixSevens

I'll get back to you leighter

Lurcher - I think you may have confused procrastination with laziness (see the cartoon on the main page)

Cheers Feisor!!

Ponder to your hearts content!

However, I would rather your reply was planned either Shaughtly or Verisune as Leighter implies that h2g2 will need to crash first and such an occurrence would be a tragedy... I might not be able to put off .... oh, no... let's not go there!

PS. Thanks for the laziness v. procrastination bit, I was tempted to make a similar comment, but felt it inappropriate as a newbie to get all uppity... although this will change I'm sure

Well...Excuse me, that`s me put in my place!!

I'll get around to reading this... momentarily

Oh dear, this plan is going pear shaped before it even hatches!
I must get around to reading one of those 'how to win friends and influence them' type books... I'm on a mission to garner the support of kindred spirits, not alienate them

Reminds me of the time Arthur said " ... I wish I'd listened to what my mother told me..."

I'm sorry Lurcher

Aw, s`OK sixsevens No offense taken !

After all, you ARE a Kiwi!

Cheers Lurcher!

Would it make a difference if I told you I was a Yorkshire lad?

Ah, well, you might just be OK after all

Been gone long?

Thank you kind sir!

No, not long really... only since 1970!

Ye Gods, another veteran
*I`m warming to this guy*
Did you know Fred Trueman has retired? (rumour has it Boycott is thinking of it)

As Warlord for The Campaign to re-name Thursday, "Thing". I give this idea my full and unquenching ponderment.


Hmmmm.....

Brilliant! I am much encouraged by your response as ponderment is precisely what this plan needs.

The apparent skill employed in your response leads me to suspect that you are a well versed in the noble art of Procrastination.

Bearing in mind that a proposal such as this is still in its infancy, I imagine it's status for consideration of ponderment could well fluctuate on a succession of meticulously ordered and then re-ordered lists of "things to do: urgent"

ie I aint holding my breath

Oh me is a procrastinator first-class - instead of being on h2g2 I should be wriitng an essay - how about that?

I'll think about mentioning it to the troops if y'like. Verisune, in fact.

Superb! Offer gratefully accepted

Likewise, I should be working on a research project issued 7 weeks ago, due in 7 days, work on it to date - approx 7 hours

Sound like a great plan! I'm with you all the way, SixSevens!
"What was that mum? Go to bed? Okay, I will, Verisune!"
Hahaha!