h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

No wonder the take-away pizza orders have taken so long to arrive!

Val-'n-Tine's day...?
Who's this new boyfriend Tine, Val?!

Would Tine be a nickname for Tiny?

why would tiny need a nickname?

LMAO!!!!!!! !!!

WR YOU of ALLL people outta' know I'm not a Tart-N-Tell type!



Say mari, perhaps we might look into a special Vavoom Fest for h2g2's ann.!



Dibs on the wet kilt contest!~~~~~~~~~~~~~

... shivers in ... what a day! Helps herself to a couple of (having reverted to normal - no full moon )

What's this about a village? Have they got an art shoppe there?


Aside: just watched our TV local news - they've got littl'uns mummifying their favourite cuddly toys Maybe a mummification shoppe?

what do you mean' you thought i was missing...

i was just being quiet for 6 weeks

I thought that's what THIS place was!!!
You mean I've been pickling myself for no avail?

Cool. ...*dips ladle into the Tub-o-Tinis and fills everyone's glasses...poor Kes didn't seem to appreciate the martini atop the ale...watch as he drinks it as fast as possible to avoid the taste...his head spins 42 times and stops, properly facing forward...he is smiling...*...*takes out note pad... makes a note to trade mark ale + tini...*

Shirps, we are in the Village De La Vavoom! ...*from the side of her mouth to any one in hearing range...*get Gwennie. STAT! I think Shirps is suffering from too much blood in her alcohol!! Caer!! Haaalp! Some one!
...*feels Shirp's head for bumps...etc....finds a flea that missed the circus and is Wintering in the UK...*
How many fingers am I holding up<?>
Is thered any body in there<?>
Just nod if you can hear me...

Poor dear. Came on sudden like. Don't know if she's cumin' or a goin'. ...*gives Shirps a tumbler of bourbon while awaiting medical attention...*

Oooo strong young men! Them that'll come with the ambulance...*knocks Shirps over on her way to the ladies to freshen up before any medical attendants arrive ... in case Gwennie is tied up!...* Ooo, tied up.
And some people think this is a dreary time-o-year!

they will need to leave in an ambulance as well Pan, if you get hold of them...

or if i do

...*attempts to Spuer Glue Thog's Mod Whomping stick to the underside of the bar...can't move her fingers...*

how are you going to drink then

... ... nods slowly in zombified fashion ... gulps bourbon ... scratches head ... sticks out leg & trips up Pan on her way out from the ladies ... grabs Kes' head & spins it the opposite way - just to straighten him out ... lies in wait for the medics

*Buys Linus a nice large as he's sure to be very thirsty after 6 weeks absence.*

Welcome back, old thing!

*Having watched the bar rapidly rotate around his head clockwise, now observes it rotating in the opposite direction.*

Eek! I need a !

reminds me of a wizard of Id cartoon Kes, where the barman says to bung 'i'm thinking of putting in a revolving bar' and bung says ' i'm sorry to hear that... i thought yo already had one'

... stands up .. walks to bar ... pours 2 s ... turns handing one to Linus, speaks in monotone: "How d'you do Linus, nice to meet you" ... hands the other to Kes ... sits down & stares vacantly at Pan's fingers which are turning a bright shade of red ... licks lips

Who's turned the lights out? It's gone all dark in here?

Is that Linus I hear?

*Saunters vaguely into pub, ambles up to the bar, purchases a southern comfort, lime and lemonade, and perches on a barstool reading Don Quixote. Realsies peopleare staring*

Afternoon.

Forgive us for staring...you PAID??
Nobody's ever done that...EVER!
We have a benefactor who doesn't know that they one...
(Lovely name...Benny Factor!)
Better take the cash back or there'll be a major difference of opinion regarding the use thereof.
Don't worry, we get new stock in ev'ry month.