h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"creep!"
Don't be too trusting of these newbies Pan

ing

pan is always game for fresh meat, aren't you dear

i think it's dl what needs to be worried

"creep"? I do try to stand upright, (if the Bushmills runs out).

"newbie"? I'll have you know that I've been successfully draped over an easy chair since 2002 Just didn't do much - 'cause I'd lost my towel!

Schh! Don't warn him, - could result in some veeery interesting results

So you don't find yourself leaning then, dl? Let us know if you lose your again - we may consider letting you have another

finishing her bowl of Pan's special ...

Dearest , I have been prostrating (is that the right word, I wonder?) myself before the fair Pan for some time now. However, she seems to have lots of other to fry (an inexhaustible - ! - supply of young firemen, for one thing), and I always seem to get left in the 'this week's special, 40% off' bin! Ah, well..............I suppose that I'd better have another pint of Drambuie shandy

Ah, understood now! My commiserations ... or maybe, you've been "saved"

I'll join you in heavily laden with Baileys ... could someone pour me one into my bowl/

hoping for a brand new bowl for Ch*********s

So, , you want a genuine 'Wassail bowl' perhaps? (with the traditional cider/sherry and spices mix, of course!)

leave out the sherry ... scrumpy of course ... go easy on the spice - never give me mulled wine

(This guy's good - I can give him my orders - don't have to )

a mince pie wouldn't go amiss

empty promises! i'm sure any mice pie would be lost in your stomach double speed,

::refills everyones bowls, seeing that most of the regulars are creeping around on the floor in a drunken stupor anyway::

I never creep! It just so happens that my legs don't always go where I want them to!

*Trips over several discarded tree decorations and find a fireman's helmet under layers of foliage*

I say! Pan! Is this yours old girl?

What's this about Gwennie's legs not going where I want them to go to?

you two ought to try having four legs & getting them to go in the correct direction

No fret - just testing, I'm prepared for disappointment

By the by - when the Ch********s tree has finally been erected - I am NOT climbing up to the top to put on the //or anything else you want put up there

to with all four paws

How do we get the or UP there, then?

Does Pan throw it up? Does scale it, like a mast, with the bauble clenched in his teeth?

when you wish upon a star ...

'When you wish upon a star.....

Makes no difference which you are?'

oh yes it does! ... licks paw & smoothes over her forehead ... there's only one of me & I'm ..... special

muttering: no-one appreciates me

It would have been easier to affix the fairy to the tree before we set the tree upright ...

i said shove it some place where the sun never shines and see what happened

Dear , of COURSE you are special!

You are the very cutest dogette - ever!

Here, have a new bowl of creme de menthe and cider.........and a nice porterhouse steak......

...*covers Gwennie's eyes with her hand...*Have some feelings for our loverly 'tree hugging' friend, er, friend here!...*whispers to Gwennie...*don't look at the bloodly meat the dog is chewing hon

Kes!If the man gets cold he can full well sit by the fire place. I demand each and every one of you remove your coats from atop the man!
...*everyone rushes to do Pan's bidding...*
THAT'S mooooore like it....*chucks her sweater over Kaes...*

Gee Shirps...about that 'envelope'...you put not to open it until 9/12 which on THIS side of the pond has either already passed or is a loooong way off.
Being Pandora ... ... Would you believe my long finger nails sorta' sliced the envelope?Over & over until the card sorta' fell out?

May we place a fireman atop the tree?You know he'll come in handy at some point.

Come warm me up Derby, I have a bit of a chill.