h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Heavens no, you would never be in my way, dear Mina! Any chance of bumping up against you is a chance I don't want to miss.

*Hooks BluesSlider's leash to the wall, stands over Chaos.*

And who do we have here...

*Lifts his chest off the ground with a sharp jerk and brings his face quite close to hers.*

I think perhaps you want a bit more pain than I have to offer...

*Quick bite of his lip, before dropping him to the floor and leading BluesSlider off.*

What a nice thing to say Zmrzlina.
You've made him bleed now. Good girl.

RRRR!
MORE!
ROUGHER!
ARG!

~pops up from behind table~
Sorry, just inspecting the fixing bolts under the table.
You might want to get Arthur to tighten them up.
I can squirm quite a bit, you know...

Rougher?

~stamps up and down his back in her nice shiny 4" spikey shoes~

I'll send Art round later.

So, what's it to be?
Am I teaching or learning today?

ahh...

bring on the wip!

~get out her special whip and cracks it at Calamity and then at MOC~

Do what you like honey, but this man is more urgent than you. Gotta beat the men down first.

Ok, I can see that
~lights three candles, grins maliciously, and advances on MOC~
Let me give you a hand then.
~stands first two candles on floor, then tips hot wax from the third on MOC's back~
Oh! Sorry, did that go in one of the stilleto wounds! Soorree!
~grins again~

~stands back and watches~

~Takes first two candles and stands them on MOC's shoulder blades, fixing them in cooling wax~
Now, stop squirming, you know you enjoy it!
~Takes third candle and drips more wax onto MOC's back~
You want any particular design or motif, Mina?

God, this is great as a spectator sport...

Yeah, what's that thing from the middle of a 45? Try that.

Oh, it's much more fun if you take part!
Want a candle?

Emily, we'll make him lie real still for you! Either that or you can have him when he's dead. Deal?

Well, he'd better lie still or those candles on his shoulders are going to give a nasty shock.
~grins~}
Please Emily, be my guest !
~Moves to one side and then bends and ruffles MOC's hair~
We having a good time yet?

I do believe the wretch has gone to sleep!
~Checks~
He has. Right, time to teach this young man a lesson!
~Grabs a further ten candles, lights them, and plants them firmly at regular intervals along MOC's spine~
Let's see how he likes being a birthday cake by the time he wakes up!

mmm...

hmm...?

sorry, i dozed off.

No point waking up now, you can stay like that til tomorrow.