h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi. Thanks for stopping by. We've got a whole week of partying to do next week, and just this weekend to get everything ready.

I've got plenty of and of course , and I'm just waiting for the food to arrive. I've just made some fresh if anyone would like some, and we can get started putting up these streamers and ballons...

~A~

There's already a veggie-party in progress.
(sorry I didn't mention it sooner )
Feel free to join
http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F52920thread=123202&post=1076299#p1076299

oof.

I have: tofu , and grain-based , with soy and rice cheese depending upon allergies, and spelt or wheat buns or chapatis ditto. Lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, fresh cukes, organic mustard, omega3oil mayonnaise (eggless, to be sure), and home-made organic 'catsup'.

Also on non-wheat, matzoh crust, with hypoallergenic virtual cheese that tastes almost like the real thing...(no, really! you get used to it after a while... trust me. )

Alcohol-free , , , and , for the duller sorts of people, and those whose medication/religion/personality disorder does not allow the consumption of alcohol. This all, too, tastes amazingly like the real thing. Amazingly. It's . If you've never tasted the real thing, you might enjoy it!

Everything is Kosher and Parve, of course.

Air-popped, organic with more Omega3+6 fatty acids sprayed on, but no salt. No salt in anything, except the pickles, actually.

Decaffeinated ditto and since Celestial Seasonings is just up the road, I comandeered a warehouseful of lovely herbal tisanes in little bags Oops! I didn't mean to make that face. I meant .

Carrot with extra fiber in. One must always remember to think about, and preferably discuss, one's colon, at vegetarian parties. (Also Jewish ones; it's a rule, and I'm allowed to say that on accounta I sort of are one/s.) No dairy in the icing, nor sugar, for that matter. I just used chalvah. Whassamata? You hate chalvah? So do... I mean, just taste, it'll grow on you. Really!

And I've got tons of carob bars, outside in the boot of the car, where I am not worried about them melting.

Howzat Pegasus? Do you need some rice-flour, unfried too?

Auntie, (who caters) for LeKZ

You've mentioned the wheat free, dairy product free, sugar free, salt free food on offer here. Is any of your vegetarian food nut free? It's awkward to buy anything that's nut free, but vegetarian food seems to contain a lot of nuts.

I think I'll sit here with a stong cup of (please let me have caffeine) and not eat anything, just to be on the safe side.

Deackie, I have an assortment of dried fruit (Be careful though as it can induce severe wind!), fresh fruit and a huge bowl of home-made coleslaw that are all nut-free.

At last!!! Just don't let anyone near it if they've touched nuts first.

(you'd be amazed how many nut free foods are ruined when someone cuts them with a knife that has been used on a nutty dish or eats some peanuts and then puts their hand into the nut free food, etc. Sorry, moan over, it's just so annoying not being able to eat without worrying what is in things but then I guess it's similar for vegetarians just without the fear of death thing.)

*munches happily on the dry fruit*

Sadly I must pop back to RL for a few hours as I have an essay to write but I shall take a break later and pop back in for some more fruit and a large glass of organic, non-GM scrumpy

*staggers in with two boxes full of party favours and decorations*

Hey guys... what do you think of this hat? *puts on little metallic-coloured pointy hat**feels rather foolish and takes it off again* Well, I've got one for everyone... made from recycled card and wood pulp from sustainable forests.

Wow... thanks for all the food Arpeggio. Mmm... carrot cake, my favourite! We also have plenty of caffeine and alcohol based drinks for the less 'pure' amongst us.

Can someone grab the other end of this party banner for me. I thought I'd put it up over there... facing the main door. Whaddya think?

~A~

Sooo of me...

Everything, and I do mean everything is both peanut, and tree-nut free.

I can personally claim to have seen the inside of at least 15 different hospital emergency-rooms (casualty) in the State of Colorado alone, because some imbecile failed to mention the almond extract in the custard pie. !

This body can eat ground-nuts (peanuts) and cashews, as the first is a legume, and the second a seed. Half an almond, or a fragment of walnut and it would be curtains for this Drama-Queen without any calls. Isn't it *fun* asking waitpersons to ask the chef what's in everything??

You are not alone, dearie. Other things nothing I bring to this party will contain include:

Blue cheese - no mould.
Tamari or soy sauce - fermented and sodium ridiculous, contraindicated with many medications.
Uncooked fruit, except citrus - that's this body's allergy.
Lactose
Nutrasweet -
Anything that has ever been within 500 metres of a molecule of dead creature - what you have here is someone who was raised Brahmin Hindu
Mushrooms - fungi, grow in caca.
Onions and/or Garlic - in case there are any Jains here.
Anything else to which anyone could object on religious, or allergic grounds with one (1) exception:

I bought up blue-and-orange marshmallow sno-balls in bulk, when the Denver Broncos won the Super Bowl about 5, 6 years ago. These are not a perishable item. I need to unload them, so I've had my trusty gnomes bring in all 6 gross. Eat these; save your children the expense of embalming you years from now.

Hey, it works for me. I'm permantently 27

Auntie, queening around admiring the natural hemp macrame plant holders... for LeKZ

Pegasus, HONey!

Lemme help you with that...

Uh, how *am* I going to manage that hat *and* my tiara?

AHA!,

Voila! I'm doing my best Madonna imitation for this event!

Auntie, being a queen isn't always a drag, but sure is more fun that way.

I like your style Arpeggio! Perhaps we should make this a fancy dress party...

*considers adapting a single pointy hat to create Tom Jones to Arpeggio's Madonna, but decides it would be moderated faster than you can say "I'll close this room"*

~A~

Thank you so much for the nut free guarantee Now I can sit here, relax and indulge. Good job there's no shell-fish, melons or kiwi-fruits either.

Have I been working at this computer too long or did I just see Madonna talking with Tom Jones?

Deakie, dear!

'Shell-fish'? Dahhling, don't be disgusting. There are people here trying to EAT. They're not Kosher, anyway. They're also either giant bugs, or members of the Phlegm family. Either way they fall into the same category of non-food items as broken glass, used bicycle tyres, or doggie cacas.

Kiwis and melons would kill this body too, but looka them over there eating that *scary* melon salad! Don't you just want to run over there and scream 'STOP! Don't DO it! You have everything to live for!'?

Pass the endive and spinach salad please?

Honey, wouldja mind? Is my wig okay in back here? I had to run home and change the Marge Simpson one for this Madonna wig, and put on the silver miniskirt and platform shoes, in kinda a hurry, and my tiara's caught on something...

Thanks, that's much better. Damn ! The child- insist on sleeping in my WIGS! Gwan, git! Shoo.

So..., tell me all about you...

Auntie, 'I ALWAYS dress this way', for LeKZ

[She does. She's... um... a fashion statement. - Arpeggio]
{That screams for rebuttal - Kurtis}

I HEARD that you Guyz! Now make nice and go away already. Take the too, while you're here.

Aw, I'm sorry for mentioning the "S" word, I didn't realise people were eating nearby. You want to live around where I do, the smell of the market at the harbour on a hot sunny day is an experience .

Sweetie, the wig is fabulous, it looks cosy too. Just right for an

What can I tell you about me? Well, I seem to be allergic to a lot of things, I must be the sensitive type.

What I've never understood, as far as this allergies thing goes, is why the male parent's family line survived to bear children? This is some *serious* upstream swimming they managed against survival of the fittest! Why didn't his cave-cestors just eat a strawberry and keel over, in early toddlerhood? He had allergies. Why didn't he have his Roquefort, and bite it, too?

It is so entertaining, having grown up where/when 'vegetarian' was a 'yore a whu-ut?' concept, and now with compound interest on the allergies, the interrogations of wait-staff, the item on the menu that'll be *great*, only 'couldja take out the chicken, the cheese, the green peppers, the onions, and give me extra tomatoes and avocado?'

'Sure, but every substitution is .79 cents extra.'

So, when did the banking industry get in on the International Allergy Industry? They do compound. The more you eat it, the sicker it makes you, the more you crave it, the sicker it makes you, the more you eat it.

Fine! I am *keeping* my vices (clothes, shoes, shoes, wigs, shoes, clothes, and shoes) because I can't enjoy alcohol or food any more, I am just going to have to stay OUTRAGEOUS, instead .

Ohh, no. That rascally is dipping my feather boa in the guacamole and sucking the stuff off. C'mere you miserable critter, I'll get you a *whole thimbleful* if you'll just quit chewing my boa, already.

Some 's kids! I tellya, no respect.

Ta ta dahling, off to find a thimble...

Auntie , for LeKZ

*collapses in a heap after personally inflating two hundred balloons*

Can someone... *gasp* ...get me... *wheeze* ...a drink plee... *exhale* ...eease? *sigh*

~A~

*splashes Pegasus with *, hands her .

HO-ney, you *personally* blew up two HUNDRED balloons?

Ooo, I know some men whoXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXet you. [MODERATED BY KURTIS]

Kurtis, you are no fun!

Better, Pegasus?

Auntie, for LeKZ

I'm not sure that the survival of the fittest thing applies to allergies. I am the only person in my family allergic to anything. I can't figure it out. I'm not vegetarian though, but I have left all meat products outside in the basket at the door and I love vegetarian food when it is nut free (very rare).

I'm thinking that you're in America. Am I right? Where I live there is not so much awareness about allergies and special diets. Dining out can be a nightmare. When you ask the ingredients of a dish you get looked at as if you're half mad. True story: I once asked a waitress if a danish pastry had nuts in it. She looked at it and said "It doesn't look like it". I walked out without ordering.

Does being outrageous compensate for the no alcohol, no food thing? Maybe I'll give it a try.

*runs out... runs back in wearing 7 veils and a yashmack*

Has it worked yet?

It certainly has! Seven veils and a yashmack, O my!



Yes, in the States. Dining out is not a nightmare in, you know, cities. Here in the provinces... this is BEEF country, it can get a little rough. In 'better' restaurants, they aim to please. I have not personally found vegetarian food to be especially nutty, but neither tree-nuts nor ground-nuts are very significant in North-Indian hyper-Brahmin cuisine. About the only nuts they ever use are pistachios , and one knows about them because everyone ooohs and aaahs over the expense.

A yashmack is a small camel, yes? I like it sitting on your head that way.

Where are you, then?



Auntie, for LeKZ

Wow, I don't get online for a day and I miss the beginning of a party!!
I've brought plenty of ...

... on the subject of finding veggie meals hard to come by (okay, strictly speaking that wasn't the subject ... but ... ) I've been to Belarus and the Ukraine in the past six months wher vegetarianism is non-existent!!!
When I asked the air hostess on the Belavia flight to Minsk for a meat-free meal she gave me a look which I might have given someone who had trodden in dog poo before walking all over my lounge carpet!!

cheers

MT's Right Foot~

Eastern Europe is as bad as Far East Asia. The former is meat dependent, the latter don't call it food without .

stink.

Party on, as the dumb teenagers (portrayed by 30ish actors) say, in the dumber movie...

Auntie, for LeKZ