h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*has a quick look around the "new articles" section, inspects a bizarre kind of crossbow*

Crossbows... only bloody wusses use crossbows</>

*walks out of room*

eerrrrm... I am so sorry.. I seem to have demolished your practise area..

*Lil looks embarrassingly at The Chief.. and looks around for Steve, of whom there is no sign at that moment*

*Steve steps out from the doorway of the Observation Room.*

I see your new swords suiting you then. It's firmed up your technique. Your flowing more. Once you've got your armour on i'll have to give you another go.

*looks at Steve and laughs out loud*

What....Oh... I am so sorry my lady *shakes with laughter*

I meant another bout of sparring.

*giggles until she sees the stern face of The Chief*


.. errrm.... sorry Chief...


*Refuses to look at Steve as she knows she will laugh again*

*Steve barely stifles a laugh into his hand and sneaks a look at Lil and sees her looking away and trying not to laugh.*

*The Chief gives Lil an unimpressed, headmasterish look.*

*bites her lip and looks down at her feet, feeling like a little girl about to be scolded*

OK. As you can see Lil, your armour is now ready to be fitted.

*holds up a small tshirt, that glistens when it moves*

*blushes*..

... should it go beneath my shirt? *looks at the men standing around*

Shall we go find a woman to help fit this for Lil then.

*Clicks fingers*

I've got an idea. Steve, boy, Get out of here and close the door.

*the Chief turns round and presses a remote in his hand. The room goes darker.*

Ok Lil is that enough privacy? I'll need to tell you how to fit the armour once it's on.

..I think so.. *unfastens her shirt.. slips the vest over her head, with a little struggle, it is in place*


... I am wearing it now... you can turn round..

*The Chief turns round to see that Lil is filling out the glistening T-Shirt. He walks to the back of it and pulls at various points until it sits naturally on Lil's shoulders.*

How does that feel?

.. It's surprisingly light!.. *Lil moves about, looking into a mirror.*

*Puts her shirt on over the vest to see if it can be seen*

Am I alright to bring Sir Big Steve in? It looks fine on you. You need to check you've got the full range of movement.

.. eerrr.. Yes, .. sure.. *frowns a little to herself*.. Bring him in...


*Fastens a couple of her shirt buttons*

*The Chief slowly goes towards the door to allow Sir Big Steve to re-enter the room. He stops before opening it.*

Are you sure my lady?

*nods*.. Yes I am sure.. *smiles softly at The Chief*

*The Chief opens the door.*

You can come in Steve. Bring your sword, you might need it.

*As Steve walks in the Chief walks out and shuts the door behind them, he turns the corner and nips into the observation room.*

My Lady how does your armour feel? I can barely see it through your clothes.

*shrugs her shoulders*.. Seems okay.. .. I am surprised it is so light.. *lifts her sword*... So, what are we going to do?