h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

OK I remember cursing a fig tree cuz it wasn't bearing fruit out of season, but what are the refrences to plastic surgery and stand up? I don't get it.

healing the ear that peter sliced off the high priest's servant and
feeding the five thousand after teaching all day.

If you're going to show people this please remember to point out that you do not mean to criticise any particular religious point of view (even if you do, it's just a statement for legal purposes).

That would be, with all due respect, a little silly, considering that Jesus was crucified for criticizing several religious 'points of view'.

He told a parable about a 'Good' Samaritan.
We take that for granted these days, but at that time, to your average temple worshipper, the only 'Good' Samaritan was a dead one.
He conversed with the Samaritan widow at the well and scandalized his 'followers'.

He ridiculed the Pharisees for giving a 'tithe of mint' instead of the first fruits of their fields.
He accused them of killing the prophets and then ritually white-washing their tombs as an observance.

When his disciples asked him to teach them to pray, as John had taught his followers, he rolled his eyes and after telling them not to bore God by praying like the heathen do, he said, if you must pray, pray in this 'manner'. And then he made fun of all pomposity and litany and pretention with a 'parody' of the incantation-like prayers that were popular then and have become so again.

And that 'parody' became litany...

I think Jesus has a sense of humor, even if some of his advocates apparently don't.

Signed,
Son of a Preacher Man

Shall We Gather At The River?

Yes, but it's the followers with no sense of humour that I'm worried about.

(just like most Islamic people don't tend to mind if you say that the al Q'aida are a bunch of XXXXXXX)(sorry about the spelling)

But I *DO* intend to criticize a certain point of view. Any 'legal' disclaimer would just be dishonest. I am sure there are those that take the question "What Would Jesus Do?" and sincerely try to live their lives in a Christlike manner. However there are those who do not even begin to understand how the man worked and did things, mistaking "good church behavior" as something Jesus would do. I think if Jesus walked the earth today, he would be as unpopular with the organizers of religion now, as he was then.

Oh those are good ones! Though I am not so sure that I would compare teaching to telling jokes... but the plastic surgery will be added to the list, as soon as I get around to finding the bible verse to cite, as well as remembering GuideML....

*sigh* and I thought I was DONE with h2g2....

Ah-ha-ha-ha!
You can never escape!

So Happy Together!

How could anyone ever be done with h2g2? Once you join you're in for life. Maybe.

Didn't he also organise escapes when he stopped the stonings?

I always found the Old Testamnt more fun than the New. Except for the whole xxx begat xxx begat xxx thing.

Oh come on, a little begatting never hurt anyone...
As long as you have a lot of paper to chart it and not get lost.

and then old Bishop Ussher comes along and ruins the whole thing by using those begats to prove the planet came into being on Oct. 23rd, 9:45pm MGT, 4004 B.C.

Pfui!

Besides, all the geneology is still doing damage. They've got orthodox Rabbis telling folks in Israel that they can't get married because so and so, the groom's great uncle, 32 times removed stole a donkey from the bride's half-cousin on her mother's side 2200 years ago!
Jesus at least had a thing for Forgiveness!

Are you serious? Is that a reason for refusing a marriage? OK I get the exageration, but...

Yes, serious. Ancient cultures have long memories.
That's why you have some feuds that have been going on since before the Romans got scared off by the blue meanies!

Of course, them what ain't got no culture.... have nothing to remember.

What time is MGT? is this something I don't get or just typo of GMT?

Also, everyone is very inbred (Adam+Eve, Noah and his sons, etc)

I thought it was Mean Greenwich Time... sorry...

Yeah, it's mean time. Time is mean, don't you think, the way it forces you to get up in the morning...

Does anybody really know what time it is?