h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yes, OK, I, The Big C, and here to answer your questions.
Njan's away at army training at the moment, but he'll be back soon enough to help me with your problems!
So, fire away!
(Oh, and don't be too harsh with your comments - I'm sure there are other threads for that.)

Just who are these friends in high places?

I didn't think it would take long for that to be asked...

...

Alright, they are simply the ACE's...and Peta of course!
But, c'mon...the ACE's are very important...especially in my plans for the community...

I see and you think you are the only candidate with these friends?After all you make it a election point!

Alright, so I'm not the only person with these friends...but they are very important in my plans, as I said..

Indeed they are.

I'm completely positive that I was about to say something worthwhile - but I have completely forgotten what it was. Please excuse me for just a minute while I go back to your page to work out what it was...

Right! OK!
The things you so kindly worked out for Njan as his personal aims as Vice... those public phone boxes. They follow me around everywhere, hell, I don't want more of 'em stalking me!
(And I have a friend who feels exactly the same way! That's Jenny and Fred the Cheese - Njan knows them, even if you don't)

¦M¦

Oh! My goodness! I give you my sympathy for being stalked...
Right, first off, I didn't make up Njan's aims; he did actually think of them himself! Ask him!
Oh, and don't worry...we'll keep a very good eye on the phone boxes...with my technology, I can control anything!

He did? It's OK, I trust you...

You will? That's very kind of you! I look forward to being stalked by phone boxes lees in the future if you're voted in.
If you're not voted in - would you try it anyway? Please?
*dazzlingly sweet smile*


¦M¦

Certainly! I'll do my best...
But even if I'm not voted for, I could still, with my technology, take the place of h2g2 Prez, but I really don't feel the need, unless the one who's elected does a bad job...

Ming.. I've had a word with our legal people, and we've managed to get a restraining order preventing all phoneboxes (other than mercury ones - that's a minor technicality) from venturing within 500 metres of you. Is that any better?

Quite so Njan!
And if our official legal geesers...
*aside to Njan*
Who the hell?
*back to Ming*
...are wrong, we can get my Government to help out!

*thanks Njan and The Big C profusely*
Thank you! That's very kind of you!

*quietly, to self*
How come we don't have any legal people?

¦M¦

you're welcome.

you haven't got any le.... oh, dear... and you're running for president? oh dear, oh dear... *mutters inaudibly to BigC, who nods conspiratorially*

*The Big C whispers back to Njan, who stares at him surprised for a moment, and then nods his head as well...*

*Njan nods back and BigC, and looks concernedly at the female one quickly, before looking back at BigC and muttering some more*

*grins*
Well, our lack of legal people didn't seem to make much difference! We both got 6 votes!
And, er, are you going to stop those phone boxes from stalking us?
*incredibly sweet smile - she's been at the Sweet Shop supplies again...*


¦M¦

(oh - the Sweet Shop is here if anyone wants to visit it: http://www.h2g2.com/A362882 )

Yes, certainly!
Now that I'm Minister of Science and Technology, I literally take control of all things like phone boxes...
There might be a Minister of Cleaning Phones too, so I'll check that out...

Why, thank you!

I should think there ought to be a Minister for Cleaning Phones! We can't risk the entire population of H2G2 dying out from a virus contracted from a dirty phone! That would be terrible!

¦M¦

My goodness, yes...

BTW, sorry for not getting anything done about it yet...I'm still working on building the Ministry of Science and Technology on the Space Station, so I'm still settling in honestly...

As soon as the Ministry's set up though, your phone worries shall be put to rest...