h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*suddenly realises what ddgb said about 7 hours ago* Eh?

*grins*
ASAP I assume...
After all, we don't want him finding this thread before we can get him...
I say we set it all up, and the first person to see him on site knocks him unconscious and drags him to the thread
*GB nudges her in the ribs*
All right, ok. The first person to see him leaves a summons on his page...

*rubs hands together evilly*
will do...
*evil grin*

*arrives all in one piece again*

I say revenge.........no I don't......

I say REVENGE..........well he did split me in half.......

*in Monty Python voice* ......but I got better...

LMAO
So, where we setting up this thread?
*evil grin*
Shall we get FC to defend MK?
*ducks to avoid a punch*
Sorry hon Didn't mean it.
Although...
*has a thought process*
You might just be the perfect person to prove his guilt...

*grins*

REVENGE!

*sweeps cloak over shoulder, draws enormous sword from scabard, and dashes off into the night*

*In the distance a horse can be heard whinnying*

HI-HO Bronze...and AWAY!




*couldn't afford Silver (the Agents price was more than my bank balance)*

Hello Herr Doktor,

Do you think you're unbiased enough to be his defense lawyer?

Anyone have suggestions?

We can't expect him to defend himself!!!

[I wouldn't do it, sorry! ]

Although he does have a good excuse... he fell in love...

another brilliant scientific idea:

Someone might bring in some kangaroos... as jurors...

No...

better not.

Then he'd be jumped by his peers.....





Sorry

Hello eatsmice,

shame you weren't here to see the terrible end of the story, we were robbed!

And poor Kes... really sad and heroic story...

Next time, don't go to Tenerife, when there important things to be done in virtual life...

Aaargh!

In the beginning was the Book...
because that's the easiest way to explain parallel universes.
Each Universe is like a page in the book - a set of events across four dimensions. Change just one of those events and you have a slightly different universe, which is, if you like, the next-door page in the book. Change another event, and go to another page. A universe with many differences would be a page a long way away in the book. Along the time axis, the earlier the change happens, the greater its effect is likely to be.

The book has an infinite number of pages, because the number of possible changes is infinite. Being the infinity of counting numbers, it is the smallest infinity, Aleph Null, but it is still infinite.

Humans live on a small part of their home page. If something changes for them, they are on another page, but the changes, generally, go unnoticed because they are so small, in such a large universe.

When Kes pressed the button and vanished, he was propelled from his current page towards the far extreme pages, stretched like elastic. At the elastic limit, he stopped moving outwards. Then he returned - at first rapidly, but progressively slowing. The return vector differed by only a tiny amount from the outward vector - a difference caused by the shedding of one tear at the point of origin. Only as he approached his destination was he moving slowly enough glimpse the probability pages flicking past. Close to the end of the journey he passed through the pages slowly enough to live within them - briefly.

It was the closing day for Island applications. On his way to the Post Office, Kes stopped in a pub for a half-pint of shandy. A stranger approached him. He bought her a drink, and they struck up a conversation. She leaned forward, pushing her arms against her sides, showing her cleavage to best advantage. She told Kes that her name was Lydiard Tregoze. She crossed her legs and re-crossed them rather more than necessary. She gazed at him through long, dark, artificial lashes. As a result, Kes bought her several expensive drinks, then a curry at the restaurant next door, then paid for her to take a taxi home.

When the pub closed, the fallen application form was swept up and put in the bin with the rest of the rubbish.

Kes never saw her again, though he went back to the pub many times. He never forgot her, for she was the most beautiful girl he ever met.

It was the closing day for Island applications. On his way to the Post Office, Kes stopped in a pub for a half-pint of shandy. A stranger approached him. He bought her a drink, but she found him boring, and moved off.

Because of the diversion, Kes reached the Post Office just as the girl there was closing the door. He threw the application into a bin, and walked to the bus stop. The girl was going to catch the same bus. Her name was Mavis Enderby - she had worked in the Post Office since leaving school, and was rather interested in stamps. They talked while waiting for the bus. After a six-month engagement, they married, and Kes mortgaged his stamp collection and his next twenty years of life and love ... in the elusive pursuit of happiness.

And it was the morning of the first day. Kes disliked the island instantly. He took no part in the events, sitting at the heli-pad, silently eating his tinned rations. At the end of Week 1, he was flown home to his Mum, where he lived satisfactorily for the remainder of his days.

And it was the dawn of the last day. Galaxy Babe and Kes shared breakfast, a good laugh, and a treasure search. When Kes saw the treasure, he was tempted, but realised that life offered things of greater value. After leaving the island, Kes and GB developed a comfortable relationship, listening to crabs, arguing about on-line communities and sharing a love of poetry, many bottles of red wine and even more good laughs.

And it was the morning of the last day. ddgb stormed onto Hidden Beach, annoyed by the preceding events on The Jetty. She decided not to cry - never to cry again, and that henceforth all men were b*****s and fair game. The men on the island (including Kes) had a pleasurable last day, but each left the island alone and without friends. ddgb (after an intimate meeting with the Survivor programme's new producer) went on to host a TV show in which married men were lured into compromising situations. The results were screened to them and their wives - live, on air. The show ran for several years until ddgb's figure gave in to gravity. Kes taped every show.

And it was the last day. Kes told PE about the treasure; she wanted all of it. She took as much as she could carry; Kes followed her, bearing a second load.

They built a mansion on the South American coast, where they lived in great comfort. As they invested and developed their riches, they realised they had developed nothing else in their lives, and they lived in separate wings of the mansion in increasing isolation until they outlived the money, but the isolation outlived them.