h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Kiddo comes from the forest, holding his newest spear and shirtless.*

Kiddo:What's going on now?

Hello Kiddo, I just brought Petunia out of the Forest. She's not very well, and really shouldn't have gone wandering in there on her own. It's very dangerous in there......I think {takes care not to give away too much of the plot}
Can I leave her with you? I was looking for Kes, so I could give him his knife back....I dived in the pool & retrieved it for him. Can I leave his knife with you too? I really don't like carrying knives round....sorry, I have to go, I have a whole island to patrol...bye
*flutter of wings

Petunia: Thanks for saving me, GB. I could have been a goner in that forest by myself.

*heard from a great distance
"You're welcome, Petunia"....

*Tweet sits, cross-legged on the ground*
*She's staring into the waterfall*
*sighs*
*drops her head into her hands, and tries to remember what happened*
*frustration builds up at the horribly helpless feeling she can't defeat*
*shaking, she sends a shower of powerful sparks towards the rocks, which break up on contact*
*gasps, as she realises she's not allowed to work any magic*
*falls on her back and shuts her eyes*

* The small banana tree sprouts 3 small bananas... *

GB wanders through, passes Tweetie, pauses, says
"Hi, Tweetie, have you met my new friend?"
*Shows Tweetie the Crab in her outstretched hands....

*Petunia is feels queasy and does not notice the newly sprouted bananas. She lies sprawled on the ground. Thinks there's got to be an easier way to earn a million dollars*

*Petunia lies moaning with malaria and jungle fever, whatever that is*
Petunia: Moan. How can I be charming and charismatic when I'm so sick?
*barfs*

*Kiddo on his way to the forest sees Petunia lying on the ground.*

Kiddo: Holy cow! What's wrong Petunia? Are you okay? No, of course you're not, you're sick. What can I do to help?
Hey, bannanas.
*Picks bannanas from tree.*

*Kiddo suddenly realizes he can't even spel banana correctly. Never mind that, what should he do to help Petunia?*

*flutter of wings
Hey, Kiddo! You could take Petunia to the hospital tent.....
by the way, have you seen Kes and a little pink Lemur? The Crab told me that the lemur is really Peaceful, in another form, and Kes doesn't know, and eatsmice was going to go after them & kill the lemur, but I managed to stop him....
What now?
*Crab, although enjoying being closeted in GB'S Angel gown pocket, had started to fidjet.
GB reached in and took him out.
*Crab waved his claws around.
Oh, OK....
GB turns to Kiddo, says farewell & flies away.

Kiddo: I tell you, this island keeps getting weirder and weirder. Come on Petunia. To the hospital tent. Can you make it?

Petunia: Yes I think so,Kiddo. You've been so nice. I wonder how you got over your malaria? Maybe that Saint of Tea guy could bring me a nice cup of tea.

*Kiddo helps Petunia to the hospital tent, where she rests and recovers. Still, some tea would be nice. What's this? A cute doctor on staff at the tent brings her a nice cup of Earl Gray. Or is she just hallucinating? Who cares, the doc's cute and he smells good *

Ok everyone- the crab's name is Fred.
And it's time I gave him a walk...
*calls*
Fred.... Fred?

*flutter of wings
The Crab just told me you were calling him, Tweetie!
OK, here you go.....
*carefully hands over the Crab
His name's Fred? Funny that, I never thought to ask if he had a name, I guess I thought that was just TOO weird.....
Nice hospital tent this, very clean....ooh, nice docs too.
A cup of tea?
I don't mind if I do....
Tell me, how long have you been a Doctor?
*flutter of eyelashes

*Tweet has been removed from the hospital tent- the effect of the leather bikini on the patients' blood pressure was getting out of hand*
*Plus she was a little too interested in opening someone's sternum...*
*looks at Fred and shakes her head*
Honestly- I leave you alone for 5 minutes and you've hooked up with an Angel.
*Is sure that the crab looks sheepish*
C'mon, I'll take you back to camp.

Petunia: Has anyone seen Ox lately? I haven't seen Ox for a while, not since the party. Cute crab.

He has good taste.....he's with an Archangel now...