h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

* This pristine beach site is the future home of the Cragi Tribe. Large white clouds arc slowly across the scenery above the ocean, which swirls into the glorious golden sands. Nearby is a small cluster of trees & palms swaying with a brisk breeze. Which curiously seems to be shielded by the ridge overlooking the beach... *

* All would be idyllic if you hadn't have just seen a small crustacean being eaten a huge red snake... *

* The promised cargo netting has been placed here, plus there is a half emptied rice packet with enough for 3 individual sittings. It would have been more but the large red snake which rears up in your presence, has eaten half of it...and seems intent on devouring something a little more tasty !!! *

Kiddo: Hmm... I think I'm in the right place. This is where my tribe will stay, isn't it? Well it... AAHHH! There's a huge snake here eating rice packets!
*Picks up a stick and beats the snake on the head. This only iritates the snake. It springs toward Kiddo and he runs for his life.*

*waves arms (yes-arms) from top of hill*

Kiddo: Help me! Help me! Help me! Help me!
*Trips and falls in the sand*
Kiddo: ~spit~ Yuck! Now I have gritty sand in my teeth.

*yells at top of lungs*

Get up, Kiddo! Grab the cargo tent! Get away from those snakes!

* The snake gets tangled up in the cargo netting... *

*yells louder*
Drag it along if you can, I'll meet you half way and kill the sucker...

*Grabs fist-fulls of sand and throws them at the snakes*
Kiddo: Take that! Ah! ER! HA! OW! A grab! Get away from me you crustation! *Kicks the crab into the ocean, then tries to throw a coconut at one of the snakes* Wait, we need those!

Kiddo: Oh, there's only one snake.

* A prone snakes lies in the cargo netting. It should be good for 4 portions, albeit obtained from sacrificing one coconut... *

Kiddo:
*Grabs the cargo netting on the other side and begins to drag it*

*Long shot of a figure wandering up the beach. On closer inspection it is Chrome, clad only in a T-shirt and shorts. Cut to close-up of his face, with an expression of delight written across it. He crosses to his fellow team members and helps them wth the netting.*

Petunia: Look at the lovely snake we have to eat! You guys go right ahead and gut that baby, while I go look for a nice long sharp roasting stick and firewood.

Kiddo: How do you gut a snake? Would it have very much meat on it? What should I do now? Someone needs to make a fire right?

I believe that's where I come in...

*lights fire with the power of her mind... ok, she uses her glasses like Piggy in "The Lord of the Flies"*

Yumm, snake...

*Helps Kiddo gut and cook the snake*

Ewww...

Kiddo: Ahh, nothing more invigorating than killing and gutting a snake. Let's cook it!

*Sticks the roasting stick through the snake and holds it over the fire*

Kiddo: That wasn't half bad. Almost though. Well, better get started on a shelter before it gets too dark. Hmmm...

*DD tramps in*

Hey guys.

*hacks away at some palms nearby*

OK we need something to tie these together with just in case the wind gets up.

Kiddo:
*Runs around trying to find something remotely like a rope*
Uh, I found some vine stuff and some stringy leaf stuff. Will that work?