h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Davros - A38189235
Author: kipperonthefloor - U12546156

wrote this as you didnt seen to have much on davros

I'll let the Doctor Who mob go through it for accuracy, but it's a bit listy.

Also what about his appearance in the last Dr Who episode ?

Oops just realised - that's The stolen Earth isn't it ?

their all down

Sorry but this is short on information and long on lists.
You need to run this through a spellchecker at the very least and you need to supply some more information about Davros and the Daleks.

Have you done a search of the guide for entries dealing with Dr Who and/or the Daleks?

I don't really see your point if it's only to list episodes where Davros has been mentioned, played a part etc.

As it stands at the moment it's a bit rough an ready.

fair point

Have a read of some of the other Dr Who entries in the Guide, to give yourself an idea of where you should pitch it. I'm no particular Dr Who fan, but I loved this one, for example: A30924164

There are plenty more examples at C991

Good luck with it!

You're right, we don't have much on Davros. The problem is, if this goes into the EG as it is now, we still wouldn't have much on Davros.

You don't explain who/what Davros is, what the Daleks are, who the Doctor is, anything about the Doctor Who TV series or audio productions, anything about the actors who play him, or indeed anything of interest. This is pretty much just an index of episodes that he's been in.

This one need a fair amount of work - Icy's given you a good place to start by reading some of our DW entries, and I'm sure if you visit the Doctor Who Group at A655256, you'll find more "expert" advice and assistance.

Good luck!

would you prefer a run down for each episode and/or davros's history

Have a look at A20361647 - the entry on The Master. A good entry that tells you a bit about the character and the actors who play them. An entry on Davros should be along the same lines, in my opinion.

it is my great regret to announce that this artiacl is currently under renovation

That's fine - it's what this thread is for!

Ok, I'm not really the sort of guy who can help with grammar or that sort of thing, but right off the bat, I would suggest you reorder your Davros appearance list into chronological order e.g. by Doctor or by date etc...

I also agree that this entry is a tad *listy* maybe you could try and give more a description of Davros' character, like what he strives for / believes and why that is so.

Here are my thoughts, some of which are covered by earlier comments ...

1) the title ... needs to be something like "Davros - Doctor Who Villain".

2) the intro paragraph ... it's got good info the sort of thing people would want to read. But you've put all that info into four sentences.

- The 2nd sentence is currently:
"A disabled Kaled Scientist, Davros is part humanoid and has no legs as they were replaced after Davros's near fatal accident by a life support system in the shape of a "dalek skirt" and Davros created the Daleks to ensure the survival of some life after the end of the war between the Kaleds and Thals, however he removed all the emotions like fear, pity and compassion it was the the lack of emotions that led to his later extermination as the Daleks saw him as an inferior."

- It needs to be broken down and rewritten. Something like this:
"A disabled Kaled Scientist, Davros is part humanoid and has no legs as they were replaced after a near fatal accident."

"Instead of legs he has a life support system in the shape of a "dalek skirt" (the lower half with all the bulby bits on)."

"Davros created the Daleks to ensure the survival of some life after the end of the war between the Kaleds and Thals."

"He removed all their emotions like fear, pity and compassion but it was this lack of emotions that led to his later extermination as the Daleks saw him as an inferior."

3) Now having broken that down I instantly notice some extra things that need filling in:

- physical description ... you're missing most of this. He has no eyesight but has a single blue electronic eye in his forehead like a cyclops. He has only a withered right arm and hand that can operate controls on his console. He is left arm is always immobile against his body. He has a microphone in front of his mouth to help amplify(?) his speech. All in all, he is a frail and physically unimposing character yet he has the brilliant mind.

- where do Davros/Kaleds/Thals come from? You've just assumed anyone reading the entry will know who they are. If you are to appeal to a wider audience you need to expand a little.

4) Listing of appearances ... personally I think you should have two separate sections ... one for TV/Film; one for audio. As this is just reproducing info; it should come at the end of the entry (as it currently does).

5) Need to know more about Davros. He's been played by three actors. How has he change? (In the original Genesis he used his mind to win battles, as much as wield the power of the daleks. In later episodes he just shouts and screams a lot to get his own way.)

6) How about his influence on the series, or even why he is there? The Daleks were a very 60s monster and Jon Pertwee only encountered them a couple of times. They begun to run out of storylines. The introduction of Davros' filled out the backstory of the Daleks, and since then they have hardly ever appeared without him turning up.

I'd say there's still a lot more you can put in this entry. Good luck!

As someone who has only seen Dr Who from Chris Ecclestone onwards, my comments would be:

What are Darleks? When/how did Davros create them? You should mention that he made them out of cells from his own body.

What are Kaleds and Thals?

What is Skaro?

Why is Davros always fighting the Doctor? Why are they on opposite sides? What is Davros's aim?

"What are Darleks? When/how did Davros create them? You should mention that he made them out of cells from his own body."

And in fact that's just the current reason.

In Genesis, Davros foresaw that 1,000 years of nuclear warfare between the Kaleds and Thals on their home planet of Skaro had led to mutation. As a scientist he created genetic experiments to find out what form the Kaleds would eventually take. These were then encased in a "Mark III travel machine" which he later termed a dalek.

he didnt make the daleks from him self origionally

If he didn't make them from his own cells originally you should mention how he did make them originally, and why he recreated them from his own cells, as most people now will know the newer Doctor Who episodes rather than the older ones.

Also you mention Davros being exterminated - doesn't this mean he was killed? If he was killed, how is he still popping up in episodes?

You could provide a quick description of his appearance in each episode - what he did, why he did it, how/why he was defeated etc.

>>"Instead of legs he has a life support system in the shape of a "dalek skirt" (the lower half with all the bulby bits on)."<<

Actualy the Daleks were based on his wheelchair, which also contained a built in life support system.

I'm sure that the true blue Dr Who fans would love for you to finish this! PR is just a way of helping you make it all that it can be, so I appreciate your cooperative attitude!

Some of these points have made previous posts, but for thoroughness' sake, I'll start at the top.

Yes, titles are important. They tell the reader what to expect in the entry. Simply calling the entry 'Davros' doesn't give folks much to go on.

Next, it should be made clear, closer to the beginning - if not at the beginning - that this is a ficitional character and from which mythology he has arisen. Certainly before you discuss his origin and life support systems.

Third, the first sentence: [Davros, megolomanic,xenophobic, the creator of the Daleks, the most evil being the universe has created] has no verb, and the punctuation makes it sound like the Daleks are the 'most evil being the universe has created". The change could be very simple, like: 'Davros, megolomanic, xenophobic, the creator of the Daleks, is the most evil being the universe has created within the Dr. Who mythology/universe.'

'... and has no legs as they were replaced after Davros's near fatal accident by a life support system in the...' Try '... accident involving a life support system...'

'But no matter what the daleks say about they’re superiority' Try 'their'

That's it, above the lists anyway.

You have "The Stolen Earth" and "Journey's End" as two 1-episode adventures, when they were in fact a single 2-episode adventure.

You need to start the Entry by saying who Davros is, what programme he appears in and what he did.