h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

i cant be bothered with Qs and Us
I skwirls
nice page

YOU LOVE SKWERLS!!!!

HERESY!!!

Damn you evil one of the opposition!



En guard, foul wretch of satans armpit!

reposte!
my ninja will exterminate you and your fiendish allies!
i will unleash a mighty load of upon you
AAAArRRRRRggGGHHHH!
from my deranged pets!

and I would advise some elastic bands at the bottom of yer breeks---before I release....the ferrets of fear!

finally, my spies are worth something!

::guinea pigs hurl themselves at the dwarf hamsters and ninja , aided by chipmunks::

::chucks a few at fleeing bad guys::



--the extremely self-satisfied

Aaaarrrggggghhh!!! Not the ferrets of fear!!! Last time I faced them it took me three weeks to find my left testicle. Luckily it eventually turned up down the back of the sofa and now works better than ever! Phew! but that's another story. If you really want to hear about my cyborg genitalia then we can discuss it in another forum.

But anyway. Luuunnngggee
Wait a minute. Why am I attacking you with a tennis racket? I must've been playing tennis with my tesla power lance for the last few weeks. That explains why my opponants all mysteriously vanished during the match leaving only a small pile of dust.

I'm going to need some power and courage if I'm going to win this fight. mmm dutch courage!

I, I, I Llooovvee yooooouu! oops, wrong courage situation.
Where was I? Oh yeah,
Die evil bitch-whore of skwirl-loving hell!

mwa ha ha ha ha ha my invinca-rodents are ready for the attack---peeling away items of genitalia like skwashy little brussel sprouts! harrrr! avast ye---oh my goodness--no-no my pretty ones,do not attack me,you stupid little s---just because I was eating a kebab before opening your ultrasonic cages! (true--yesterday my little of a hamster bit me on the finger ) I may have to swap my allegiance---but only in exchange for & ... Hic! tell me you love me again..

hic! you know with all this you two are starting to look really.......sexxxy!-hic,there are two of you arnt thurrr?? & sandwiches

Hmm, I kinda have a rule against sleeping with the enemy

...although there isn't much I enjoy more than breaking rules.

I'd have to ask my good friend anonymousalien to look away tho. Unless she wants to join in.
Hmm, tempting.

However how do I know that this sudden change in allegance isn't just to lead us into a false sense of security while you unleash your army of ninja assault skwerls.

Have some and and we'll discuss the possiblity of hiring you as a double agent.

Damn was supposed to look like this:

Sorry.

hehehehe the trouble with double agents though is..you never know when they are telling porkies! I might just have to do a Ming-the-Merciless,and bend you to my will (but curses! I just remembered,I dont have a will!) on the note of being a double agent,I must tell you,I have a secret skwirl viewing location (my garden) where I can spy one,once about every 4 days-skwashing its stupid self into a birdhouse...half the size of itself!
oh my goodness,I must go..the head honcho,Harbottle Hedgehog has come into the room...
a quick before i go...