h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

* HE hands Paul the pint, waits until the drink is at his lips & says... *

Although, I've just went to the toilet, so you might want to wash that...

I can assure you, Archangel Zax is most definately male.
*slips away while Zax is still sleeping....
"Yes please, I'll have a light breakfast, then I REALLY must be going...are there any scrambled eggs left?"
*takes a plate of scrambled eggs and ravenously devoures them.
"Tea, anyone?"
*pours out 3 cups of tea.....

* HE grimaces... *

Yes, Yes... We ALL know how girls can't get enough of Zax...!!!

I mean, it's awfully hard work trying to drag him away from the giggling masses when there is any serious work to be done...

It's not the Archangel groupies I mind, it's the rock star status such adoration imposes...

So Galaxy Babe, don't feel funny about fancying an essentially pious figure, who should be well all above that...

Coffee thanks, a little on the 'Irish' side...

- Simply, High Spirited.

~wanders in with sorbet~

Hey Galaxy Babe, I brought your stuff. Wahey, what have you been up to? You look slightly dishevelled.

Anyone with a hangover, I have special "cure hangover" ice-cream at the stand. It works very quickly. Just drop by and get some when you're ready.

* HE turns to the wretched souls laying about, propped up by the sheer will to consume the contents of the glass at hand... *

...and a one & two & three...

* a rousing response... *

WE HAVEN'T GOT HANGOVERS, BECAUSE WE HAVEN'T STOPPED DRINKING !!!

- Simply, High Spirited.

*reappears in a puff of pink smoke next to God, and stumbles slightly*
Man I hate that matter transference thingy...
Hangover? Who has a hangover?
*looks around and notices the mess surrounding her*
Oh.

Oh well, that's good there are no hangovers. I tend to find that even if I don't stop drinking I get a hangover anyway. That's just me then. Bummer

*wanders in without hangover and feeling slightly guilty*
Hi all!
Did I hear something about Red Bull?
*looks very interested*

¦M¦

*wanders in without hangover and feeling slightly guilty*
Hi all!
Did I hear something about Red Bull?
*looks very interested*

¦M¦

Ooops, did I post that twice?

Red Bull?

¦M¦

Well, I already have wings so I'll pass on the Red Bull.
*passes one to Mina*
I'll get the Bru and vodka instead

thanks Tweetie.
Is this the foulest taste on the planet or what?

~swigs it back anyway~

*double takes at Ming and Mina*
*looks sheepish*
Ok.
*hands another Red Bull to the right recipient and grins*
Oops

* In the midst of Fashion Cat’s Party a number of Saints are trying to be sober up with the help of Saint Peter & Saint William with copious rounds of black coffee & tea. Archangel Zax is still singing drinking songs with Saint Benji. The relatively new Saint Courtney is looking about positively glowering at the others, feeling more embarrassed with every passing second *

* Saint Sporkulious tries desperately in the role of HIS official Public Relations Officer to come up with something to explain such rampant behaviour…Fails *

* HE stumbles into the room, no matter how much HE tries to anticipate the wilfully obstinate floor from leaping about, the shagpile outfoxes him at every turn… *

GOD – Right ! Saint…er, sorry. It is Saint Peter, isn’t it ???

* Well the lampshade IS the same colour of Peter’s usual attire… *

GOD – Now, where is that sword…!!!

* Saint Peter has vision of calamity in his mind, which he suspects his eyes will have second dibs at, later… Fortuitously, or rather more to the point unfortunately, Archangel Zax starts to recite the limerick with 'luck’ in it. Creating a whole new set of public relations 'challenges' for Sporky to overcome… *

* HE stumbles forward falling at Bob’s feet… *

GOD – Isn’t this suppose to be the other way around !!!

* Saint Peter turns 'blood-vessel' red… *

GOD – Anyway, this is cutting into serious drinking time !!!

So, I dub you Saint Bob the Patron Saint of Weird Statements !!!

May you go forth and confound & confuse all & sundry, and mildly irritate anyone else !!!

* In haste a golden sword goes flying through the air just missing Saint Fashion Cat as she vainly attempts to pick-up rubbish from the floor, before things reach the ‘crunchy’ stage… *

GOD – Sorry… Ah… Just Sorry…

* HE waves his hand and Bob transforms into a leather clad angel complete with lovely white wings and a golden halo… *

Bob – Now I can go forth and spread happiness, joy and harmony ! Explain paradise is ours if we work together ! That the one person needed for change to happen, is ourselves… !!!

* They all stare on, unable to… to… respond *

* After walking over and retrieving the sword from the ex-dartboard, HE turns to Galaxy Babe… *

GOD – I hereby dub you Saint Galaxy Babe the Patron Saint of Tantrums !!!

May you go forth and teach others that being snide & underhand is a far better proposition if one has to get one’s own way !!!

* A golden sword loops through the air, at this point one must accredit Galaxy Babe with nerves of steel for keeping still, as the ‘holy’ sharp blade arcs through stray atoms in its path. Mind you looking after children for years can bring such stoicness… *

* As it comes to rest mere millimetres from her shoulder blade glorious speckled, lace wings sprout forth, followed by a milk white halo… *

* Or course Saint Fashion Cat misses most of this, as she is far more concerned about the relatives whom she borrowed the house from for the weekend… *

- Simply, High Spirited.

AVIN' IT!!! MASSIFF!!!! LARGIN' IT!!!!!! BIG UP!!!!!
And all that.

Saint Galaxy Babe, the Patron Saint of Tantrums takes a bow
Thank you, God! Wow, I love my wings! And, hey! A halo! Are you sure I deserve this? Oops, Saint Fashion Cat is having a tantrum about the state of the house, so I am going to help tidy up! {Now I know I deserve my halo!}
Eat Grimsby Fish! Preferably in Cleethorpes!

* HE has his fingers crossed in hope that she is worthy... *

*is so impressed by the ceremony he just witnessed that he downs the pint GOD handed him before he realises what he had said... *

Oh my.... I've just seen someone been made a Saint...

My lord... Are there any special requirements someone has to meet to be allowed into the rang of Saintship?

And this was delicious... Do you have any more of it?

*Tweetie eyes GOD's sword and feels eternally grateful that everyone was sober when she was sainted*
Congrats to all the new Saints!
PARTY!!!!!!
*pops another bottle of champagne*

Wow. New Saints.

*Takes some coffee of the passing tray*