h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ah, those were the days... Ah remember when all this were nowt but fields... wennaworralad.

A great bit of cruel humour in its own right. But what do I no? I'm just zis unelevated guy, y'know?

Grime (just visiting).............

Hurray! My first visitor. Oh, how I miss composing rejection comments... is there a smiley for wistful...? Can't find one.

JTG

Congratulations! A visitor well deserved. Pity it was just me though

Grime

Not at all. There are those who might stop by and fail to appreciate my humble attempt to make rejection fun.

Rejection comments were a popular topic at one point. It's been a bit of a disappointment that so few have taken an interest in these. Now, of course, they are just historical curios... if not actual rubbish. But I had such fun composing them, it seems a shame to throw them away.

I suspect that very few, if any, of these actually made it back to the Researchers they were addressed to. The one about 'mostly harmless' and the thinking-cap/racing-helmet was posted on the Sub-eds' news group, with a note attached saying that it was a giggle, but wouldn't/couldn't/shouldn't appear in the official rejection email.

JTG

Glad to hear it, really - just in case I decide to write something suitable for editing ! But they were all fun to read...

Grime

Thanks. Not to worry. We don't reject anything, anymore. The moderators free us from concern about seeing naughty words, and Peer Review ensures that everything that falls into a Sub-editors in-tray is wonderful to the Nth degree already . So editing is simply a matter of sprinkling on the fairy dust frosting and sending it off to join the queue.

JTG

Bet it were all different wennuworrasalad

But The End of the Peer Review seems to be more an End of the Peer Ordeal sometimes , what with the Sin Bin an' stuff. Still, nobody ever said it would be easy in show business!

Grime

In them days, they lettuce toss the badduns.

Having been subjected to the ordeal of friendly and constuctive criticism, some are less than thrilled about having more changes imposed on them.

JTG

Tossing the badduns seems more like a spectator sport these days - like throwing Christians to the lions or something. Where will it all end?

At the Restaurant at the End of the Universe I guess. I'll just go and invest me penny...


Grime

Tossing the badduns seems more like a spectator sport these days - like throwing Christians to the lions or something. Where will it all end?

At the Restaurant at the End of the Universe I guess. I'll just go and invest me penny...


Grime

I'll file the extra copy in the archives... not where they kept the bees on the Ark... not the B Ark.

It's a shame the Roman empire collapsed before the rematch. History would be much more compelling with an account or two of lions being thrown to the Christians.

... which makes me wonder why more isn't made of the loaves... not as much, admittedly, as it would if I were a baker. "I will make you a baker of men" has a decidedly sinister ring to it.

JTG

ps No offence meant to my Christian friends.

"It's a shame the Roman empire collapsed before the rematch. History would be much more compelling with an account or two of lions being thrown to the Christians."

LOL


Grime

Mind you, I found the bit about the loaves a bit fishy...


G.

So, why doesn't fish sandwich figure more prominently in Western culture? Are chips an insidious attempt to slip some pre-columbian viewing habits into the channel guide of our collective unconscious? And, if so, by whom?... and why don't we pronounce that "Wom"?

JTG

JTG - DON'T PANIC !!!

There are far more questions than answers in life. Luckily I've done some research on these particular ones, and here are the answers you're searching for:

(a) Because the Westerners are too busy riding the range and playing Spanish guitars and yodelling and having gunfights. They also herd or rustle cattle instead of fish out on the prairies and they prefer buns because they've never heard of 'chips' and don't like 'fries'.

(b) No, chips are the things that make computers work.

(c) So 'by whom' doesn't arise.

(d) We don't pronounce 'that' as 'wom' because 'it' would be confusing. 'It' is one of the most confusing words in the English Language already, what with 'its' and 'it's' and 'it' is raining - what exactly would be raining if not the rain? And we don't want to make 'it' worse.


Grime

Thanks. That explains a lot... at least in the sense that -- is a lot of explaining. Thanks for the large, friendly letters, too.

I was under the impression that christians were the chaps who flop about, annoying those nice lions ; although there is a connection to white shirts and bicycles that, admittedly, I find a bit confusing, theology being something best left to those who keep the telly going late at night.

As for that two letter source of agro, I've resolved to get by without --.

So, the great contribution made to civilization by the Aztecs was arteriosclerosis? Computers... evolve quickly... because the chaps who design them... eat chips and die young... and are then replaced by new young chaps. I think I've got --.

JTG

Exactly. Couldn't have put it better meself.

He's got it. By George he's got it


G.

Rex Harrison, eat you heart out.

Sorry. I've just been Subbing an Entry on Italian pronunciation.