h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Several members of the ACF's Navy, Marines, and monsters (dog fish) charge into the sewers. They take out their plumbing equipment and get to work*

*BBW bounds up and inspects the work so far. He unrolls a blueprint and looks back and forth from the blueprint to the work-in-progress.*

HEY! STOP THAT! THOSE ARE THE LINES TO THE DOGHOUSE, NOT THE CATHOUSE! THE CATHOUSE IS OVER THERE. *points*

*Shakes head and runs off to the next stop in his inspection tour*

*They fix the work they did, and work on the Cat House*

~wonders whether it is possible to fix up outflow from fountain and send a reverse surge back from the sewers and into the Cathouse plumbing ... might need an auxilliary pump and the closing off of some outlets but it might just work~

...Do you realise the potential danger you're in? There's all sorts of monsters, aligators and even Ninja Turtles down here!

<BB<

Eeeeeeek!!

*Hastily looks all around him. Calms down. Looks stern.*

Okay, we had better post guards, then.

*Details several dogs to guard duty.*

*A Naval officer walks over to BlueBottle*

Sir, as you may know, the head of our Navy and marines is a supervillain. As such, he has contacted the political leaders in the super character organizations about this, and they have given us all waivers so that the Ninja Turtles, being super heroes, can not attack us.

As for monsters and alligators, we are well trained in evading creatures of this sort, and we have our own personal monsters in case we need them.

*Points to the Dog Fish, who are swallowing a trolloc whole*

Well, as long as you know what you are dealing with...

<BB<

*The work crew complete some connections and are ready for testing.*

Okay, we need someone to go take a bath in the dog house. Someone real dirty. Then pull the plug.

Sir, sir, please Sir, Sir, over here Sir, yes here Sir. ~waves frantically~ We`ve completed the reverse plumbing so that we can now send the entire H2G2 Waterworks effluent output back into the Cathouse plumbing. Our caluclations indicate that because of the narrower bore of the system leading to the Cathouse the pressure build up would be considerable ..... bottomline sir is that the shower of s**t generated could render the entire Cathouse inhabitable for the foreseen future. The Kittys will have to put their tongues into overdrive for a fortnight to get this out of their fur. We`ve set the automatic timers to go off in the next few minutes. The system has been primed and the initation sequencer initialised. An observation post has been established at http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F73287?thread=135818&post=1233047#p1233047 I recommend you take cover gentlemen.

...If you flood the sewers, the and various nasty sea-monsters and swamp monsters will be able to get you...

<BB<

Sir, sir, please Sir, Sir, over here Sir, yes here Sir. ~waves frantically~ We`ve completed the reverse plumbing so that we can now send the entire H2G2 Waterworks effluent output back into the Cathouse plumbing. Our caluclations indicate that because of the narrower bore of the system leading to the Cathouse the pressure build up would be considerable ..... bottomline sir is that the shower of s**t generated could render the entire Cathouse inhabitable for the foreseen future. The Kittys will have to put their tongues into overdrive for a fortnight to get this out of their fur. We`ve set the automatic timers to go off in the next few minutes. The system has been primed and the initation sequencer initialised. An observation post has been established at http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F73287?thread=135818&post=1233047#p1233047 I recommend you take cover gentlemen.

I rather think that the monsters and other denizens of the sewers woul dbe deposited in the Cathouse along with massive quantities of the brown stuff.

...... it's blowing !!!!!!

*wonders if the puppies (and lizard) realize that since cats use a LITTER BOX, there really isn't any way to have the toilet back up... you could have the SINK back up, but i think that's a bit less devastating, and i don't think sinks drain to the sewer, do they?*

~ignores trivial technical pedantry in preference to artistic and storytelling priorities~

~a large gurgling noise is heard in the distance as the entire contents of the sewesr is emptied towards the direction of the Cathouse~

~The ACF forces in the tunnels hang on grimly as a tide of effluent speeds down the shafts, sweeping all before it ..... Ninja Turtles and alligators included~

~an eery quiet descends~

Quick I'm off to the Observation post on the surface to see what has happened.

~gets trampled in the rush~

*sea makes a face and considers moving the cathouse to a less stinky area*

A recommendation we`d support sea as long as it`s nowhere near our place.

Do you realise that if you unblock the sewers, the monsters could get us all!!!

<BB<

Don't worry, BB. I had the dogs-bodies install screens so that nothing larger than an Oh Henry bar could get out.

The monsters may even enjoy the ride!

Besides, once it blows, all the liquid will eventually drain back down here anyway.