h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

oopsie... once again i arrive late...

i did bring some of those marshmallows though BB... is there a stick i can toast it on? how do you like yours done??

"Crunchy on the outside, Gooey on the inside"!

Just like cooked celery.

*oops, did I say that out loud?*

Also like Armadilos!

"Aaaarmadilooss! Crunchy on the outside, squishy on the inside!
(quote)

I prefer cooked dime bars. Dime bars...
Did I tell you about the time when I went to a swimming pool in Poole (of all places) and outside was a woman who was doing a survey on whether people liked Dime Bars. It was so funny as everyone started doing armadillo impressions and she had no idea what was going on!

Oh - the joys of barbecues. The burgers are about done, who's ready for one?

*approaches barbecue wearing fire-proof suit for several reasons some of which will not be obvious*

I'll have a burger please.

Wow! Someone trusts my cooking!!!

*Gives Amy a burger* Buns are on the side on the right, ketchup etc. on the left, fried onions straight ahead!

*raises visor*

It's not as dark out as I thought.

*inspects burgers*

Just the thing, I'll take two.

*puts them in pockets of fire-proof suit*

*wanders off in the direction of L'Hotel Chrome*

Hmmmmmm.

Would you like a burger or sausage EV?

Errrrrrrrr......... I'll have a sausage, please.

*Looks with suspicion at burgers...*

Wow! Matt, how'd you get them so PERFECTLY black!

I'll have one of the "triple tower" variety.

Now that's just skill and perfection, my friend.
Okay, one triple-tower burger and a sausage coming up.
*Hands over the grub*.
Anyone else?

*Wanders along, smells delicious armadillo, loses all control, is inevitably drawn to its source*

Howdy... Got some meat for a stranger?

Always PhilFogg. So, would you like some hot dogs, burgers or armadillo and jacket potatoe?

You got some tasty armadillo steak? I like mine rare, really rare - cut off its horns (or whatever), wipe its butt, and drag it over here.

hehe.. keep a baked potato ready for me will you

*(Passes PhilFogg a unique albino nine-banded armadillo.*
Well, you said you wanted it rare... And yes, there's plenty of jacket potatoes left, and I'll save the best for you.

*takes delicious-looking steak, tastes it, then attempts to swallow in whole; nearly chokes, slows down; tries to display more civilized
behaviour*
Thanks a bunch. Delicious.
*munching away*
Hope armadilloes aren't an endangered species.
* suddenly worried, nervous look around*
Seen any militant animals' rights activists around lately??

Nah. The militant animals keep them at bay.