h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*For months, ever since the succesful return of the party that first clambered to the top of Mt. SandEverest, CLI has been mining Crystal Light from within. Only now, due to some odd circumstances, do the mines have an official conversation forum*

What odd circumstances are these?

<BB<

~Hades walks up to the mine and grabs a red-shirted-worker-extra by the throat.~

Hades: Where are the crystal lights kept? Tell me and you will lyve. Refuse and I shall feast upon you.

*The Red-Suited Extra (RSE) blinks. He then starts laughing*

RSE-Really, sir, the life expectancy of my kind of life-form is only about two-months. I've been here since the start of this operation, and I've been expecting to be demolished every second. You're certainly no threat to me.

*As if to emphasize this fact, several dozen normal CLI Securibots pour from the walls, and seven Tankbots (Securibots that are actually inside tank-like armor casing with flight capabilities (thus giving them a very tank-like appearance) and a ridiculous amount of weaponry) follow them. Many of the miner droids emerge from the ground, waving pick-axes and shovels like weapons, and aiming their drilling protrusions and mining lasers at Hades. The warning shot accidentally bounces off of a shovel, and instantly vaporizes the RSE. One of the few sentient droids curses*

R#427-The first, last, and presumably only non-robotic employee of CLI, gone just like that....

Every Securibot-Entity Hades, you are intruding in a privately owned mining facility. Usage of the Crystal Lite fragments is prohibitted without payment to the management. Surrender now, and you will only be treated roughly and with little respect, as opposed to being quickly wiped from existence!

~an orbiting peice of space debris transmits a message~

*And elsewhere in the universe, there is a shoe that, for all intents and purposes, continues to exist*

[Contynuity] Please excuse my absense, I have been away. [/Contynuity]

~Hades smiles and lifts his hands. Two gleaming black 9mm S&Ws pop out of the sleeves of his cloak.~

Hades: I'd like to see you try... Please do, it will be amusyng to me.

A Voice In The Back-Say, it's been a while since we've had a massochist on our hands!

*Snowzars set at two hours fire from every direction*

~The guns snap back into Hades's sleeves. He leaps into the air, does a backflip, and disappears.~

~He reappears a split second later twenty feet away from where he just was and begyns firyng at the beyngs with snowzars*