h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*looks up from a plate of Linguistic Languini*

Wass happnin'? T'is here's good!

[YK] Not much. [smacks MaW upside the head]

* smacks YK back with a magically-enhanced baseball bat *

No violence at the dinner table!

[YK throws a pie in MaW's face]

[YK] Ah, yes, that's a very good thing to go by.

Exactly, so why don't we, hmm?

* wipes his face and continues eating his dinner - he's onto various kinds of Chop Suey now *

[YK] Why soitenly! Nyuck nyuck nyuck nyuck!

* MaW ignores YK, mouth full of Peking style crispy duck *

[Yar gets up with the intent of exploring the rest of the castle and exits behind MaW. Short pause.]

[Yar] [off] Huh. What's this?

[Nothing happens for a moment.]




[After the moment, nothing continues to happen]

Oh dear, I think he must have fallen into the translocation spell.

* MaW wipes his mouth with a napkin, gets up and follows YK to where he isn't anymore. Sure enough, there's a translocation spell that's been recently activated *

Well, nothing for it.

* he follows *

[MaW finds himself in apparently the exact place, except of course for the fact that a) Yar is in front of him and b) everything is black with neon corners.]

[Yar] Hey, MaW. Have you ever played EarthBound?

No, I haven't. Why, is this something to do with that? Is it a game where we're the playing pieces, by any chance?

[Yar] No, it's an RPG, but this reminds me of one of the "levels," called Moonside. Hey, what if -- no. [shakes head]

What if what? I don't like where this is leading...

* he looks around *

I wonder why the translocate spell brought us here. I could have sworn it was attuned to the Ministry's catering department.

[Yar] Well, this kinda reminds me of Mog's description of the Re-Verse. He got teleported there by a blue thing lodged in the IIEM. The Re-Verse is sort of like the Universe, only it looks ... [gestures] ... like this. And the meaning of "Yes" and "No" are switched, which is why someone obliges when we say no. Also, abstract art attacks us. LOOK OUT!

[Behind MaW, an abstract painting is hovering in midair. The painting reaches out and grabs MaW.]

[[ChocoKick]]

[Yar brings into existance a golden orb and mutters into it. The orb makes copies of itself, and they form an expaning ring around Yar. The orbs vanish and are replaced by a blue Chocobo. In short, Yar summons a blue Chocobo. It kicks the painting, disloging MaW.]

Oooh! Chocobo!

* MaW puts a lightning bolt through the painting *

Much better.

[The chocobo vanishes]

[[Fire2]]

[A big flare from Yar blasts the painting to bits]

[Yar] We need to be careful.

We do indeed.

[Yar] Incidentally, Mog met these strange four-year-olds, a boy named Mewny and a girl named Massa. They seemed to be able to use advanced magic the way I do. And they got out of the Re-Verse by fighting the IIEM's evil counterpart. Now who's that??

[Yar points at a silver droid that looks somewhat dejected]

[Droid] [lugubrious, deep voice] I think you ought to know I'm feeling [suddenly switches to Elvis voice] grrrrrrrrroooooooovy!

[Yar]

[The neon colors start shifting and Yar and MaW start staring and the Elvis droid starts singing "Jailhouse Rock". He sings through the entire thing, and when he finishes, everything goes back to normal. At least, as normal as the Re-Verse gets.]

[Elvis Droid] Thank y', darlin'.

[Yar] [under breath to MaW] Screw loose.

Typo: Mewny -> Meuny

* MaW pulls his fingers out of his ears and flings out a hand. The silver droid vanishes *

There, much better!