h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'd like to thank dom for his enthusiastic participation in this research. We both put a lot of sweat into it; working late into the night. Dom was so dedicated that he sometimes rose early in the morning in order to test yet another product.

Anyway, on with the job in hand; dom have you finished watching the TV? I've got a great idea...

Sounds like a good idea. Now that Durex is done, how about moving onto another make...?

Okay, let's get down to some more serious research...

Mates do a coloured range, but they're not flavoured. They also do an assortment pack of 12, containing coloured, ribbed, studded and plain condoms.

Other than that they all look pretty boring. Maybe we should try and come up with some ideas for more interesting condoms.

What about tie-dye?

Candystriped?

Mmm, I know, what about Fruit Pastille ones, like the lollies. Every stripe's a different flavour. That'd be interesting...

Mmmn, lets think ice-cream. No, thinking about it, you don't think ice-cream, *I'll* think ice-cream. Um, Magnum, obviously springs to mind, but that's just being salacious...

Well, Really!!!!!!!!!!

I think you've missed out on a whole encyclopaedia of research here, you could keep this going for years and years ....

Are you completely oblivious to the other uses for condoms? Pub entertainment! Survival Tool!!! Hanging Basket for F1 hybrid violets so they can't accidentally crossbreed! Pocket protector for leaky biro's. Absolute Emergency Chewing Gum! Currency!! To name but a very few!

Mmmm... Strawberry flavoured chewing gum. You'd have to be fairly desperate though, wouldn't you?

Erm the phrase was **Absolute Emergency Chewing Gum!** ....

Party decorations, novelty purses, bookmarks, travel pillows, tourniquets, security purse for valuables on the beach .....

All very good ideas. I know what I'd prefer to do with them though

True dedication was displayed by the Indians in Humboldt County, California, who used the swim bladders of fish as condoms.
"Honey, I'm in the mood."
"Hold on a minute, I have to go catch and gut a fish..."