h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Saucer of milk. Table three.
May I make an academic comment here? As a religionist of many years standing (and having specialised in new religious movements and neo-pagan spirituality), I do have to say that this forum is getting a little bit polarised. Satanism is not an officially recognised faith, because no-one can really say what it is. There are so many different threads and starnds that could be called satanism, but it is not a cohesive whole. Anton LaVey's Church of Satan tried it, but no-one takes them seriously as a religion because LaVey was such a charlatan.

God-bashing is fashionable in a way, identieeze, but then so is faddish pseudo-religious practice like Kabbalah (don't get me started on flippin' Kabbalah...)

Perhaps we all need to sit down and figure out that religion is part of human culture and always has been. By developing religious systems we try to make sense of our world, and satanist-type beliefs are just another example of this. The reason everyone gets so pissed at religion is that everyone is different. What makes sense for one person doesn't for another. Stick 20 Christians in a room and ask them to explain their religion and you'll get 20 different answers. Same goes for Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, Hindus (especially Hindus!) or any other group.

True subversion is found only in quiet revolutions. Anything else is just a self-fulfilling prophecy, doing what is expected, rather than actually changing things.

Here endeth the lesson.
Hare Krsna

Here Here!!! (or should that be Hare Hare!!!)

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And he looked like Ming the Merciless.

Is this a spoof?

A spoof of what?

Yes, it's true. Anton LaVey actually WAS Ming the Merciless. Hence his high level of evilness, strange facial hair and propensity to invade and subdue neighbouring planets. And his irrational fear of people called "Flash".

I echo the question, a spoof of what?

Why don't some of you, "Satan Worshipers" get a job, then you will go to sleep normally at night instead of writing rubbish about non exsisting Baddies or Goodies.
Fairy stories are for children. Normal children learn from, but outgrow Fairy Stories and grow up to be normal.
When someone begins writing about Satan and such, they have left the "Fairy story" and "Children's stories" stage in life and need a good pull through wi' a spikey holly bush complete wi' red berries.
Just make sure there is no snow on the spikey leaves, cos that cud gi' yer bum a chill.

Another good way of getting to sleep is to get someone to fit and lock boxing gloves onto your hands.
Also buy a pair of pyjamas with a zip locked fly to go to bed in.
Then get yu Dad or Mam tu nail down the eiderdown once yu is in bed.
That way you will not sleep walk due to frustration
Nighty night an' sleep tight. :0)T

G'Day Everyone, may I casually warble in your shell like lug 'ole
what it is written in the Bible, "Thou shalt not kill"

I assume that applies to all who live on this earth.

Yet we and our children watch animals on the T/V going down to a pool for a drink only to be dragged into tnhe murky depths of the pool to be eaten by huge crocs.

Look down the food chain and one can see every animal, and that includes Man, has a preditor.

"Thou shalt not kill?" I wonder who thought that one up? :0)T

One day the human race on this earth will wake up.
We send messages out into space inviting whomever is out there to come and visit.

If they do come they will have the advantage over us because so far all we have ever done is reach the moon and there is nothing there but dust.

Imagine something that looks like a huge saltwater crocodile in a space suit suddenly landing his space ship on the beach next to you as you are sereenly sun bathing.

He is drooling as he hastily dons a noshin' napkin round his cake hole that has ivory teeth like a hay rake, and warbles, "Oh boy food!"

I think you have a bit of an unhealthy fascination with crocodiles. Not much to do with Satan, really. Apart from the big teeth and scaly skin.

Oh, it's all a load of pants really.

Fragx

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Klegg Hai!

I think 'thou shalt not kill' refers to you must not murder another human.
Nothing to do with crocodiles.

Ha ha! Must be a speaking plastic doll talking with a brain that needs putting together like a two thousand peice jig saw puzzle.
Honey! put your right index finger over your mouth and make a burbling noise by blowing and flailing your lips with that finger.

Feel better now????? HOW CAN ONE HATE SOMETHING THAT DOES NOT EXIST?
One might just as well hate the air we breath, but without it one cannot live. Oh boy! yo got me doing it now! :0)

Thou shalt not kill obviusly refers to hummans but seeing as the God of the bible is constantly getting hummans to murder one anouther that doenst mean much. I read somwhere that it actually means thou shalt not kill other jews, whch is why God is quite happy to let slaughters happen. I think thats mostly old testemant though so any cristians can always get themselfs off the hook by saying they only belive in the new testiment. Course then they do have to explain all the contradictions.

As for satanists how many people here actually know what they do? I certianly dont. One person i once met who clamed to be one said the philosiphy she followed was if somone doesnt hurt you dont hurt them, but if they do give em hell! Proberbly not 100% moralistic but its a very long way from eating babies.

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No, God is not getting anyone to do anything... if you actually do your research properly you'll find that, according to Biblical myth, He gave us free will... so all the killing is pretty much down to the human race. God is just used as an excuse.

No, if you *do* actually do your "research" (ie Bible-reading, in this rather minimal version of research), you'll find that the god of the stories *is* responsible for getting humans to do the killing as well as doing some of the killing himself. The free-will thing is also contradicted by the Bible. Though, rather tellingly, the god in those stories seems only to be able or willing to make people do *bad* things against their will rather than good things. Eg: Exodus 10:1, Exodus 14:1-8,17-18.

"No, God is not getting anyone to do anything... if you actually do your research properly you'll find that, according to Biblical myth, He gave us free will... so all the killing is pretty much down to the human race. God is just used as an excuse."

Reminds me of something I once read in a book by a Jewish writer
God tells Abraham to sacrifice Isacc, Abraham is willing to do so, God tells him ok you've passed the test, no need to do so, you've passed the test, your tribe are now the Chosen People

The writer asked what if Abraham had actually failed the test which was one of exercising free will and disobeying a ridiculous command that no reasonable god worthy of worship would have issued?

None of which has anything to do with Satan-worship

Minimal version of research? How is reading the Bible to research Biblical myth minimal? It's like saying reading the Principia Mathematica is a minimal way of researching Newton's Laws.

Anyway, so I may have got it slightly wrong, I'm better versed in some parts of the Bible than in others. Hardly surprising considering that I'm not a Christian, rather someone who finds myth and religion endlessly fascinating.

Either way, the fact is that in real terms God (whether He exists or not) doesn't make anyone do anything, He is just used as an excuse both by those who kill in His name and those who want to tar all Christians with the same brush.

erm actually god does lots of killing himself, unless we are assuming he wasn't involved in the whole turning a woman into a pillar of salt thing...

I don't beleive in santa