h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm sorry I haven't had time to bake so far this weekend, but I froze half the batch I baked a few days ago, now that they seem to be a favourite with the parrot -- they microwave beautifully!

We have OJ, endless champagne, coke and cold pork pies for my nephew, and look, I've broken down and bought beer. But I insist you drink it from a glass in my salon. Glasses in the cupboard to the left of the fridge.

And Looney sits there clutching his presumed primary head and asking, "If I were two-faced is this the one I'd use?" or words to that effect. Do you need some aspirin, Looney?

Yes please Lil, types a man with a photographic memory but no film.

*fetches Looney some green tea, several aspirin and a slice of mbougatses*
You should take food with aspirin.
Mm, I think I'll have a slice myself.
*Mindspring curls up on the hearthrug and sighs contentedly as Lil throws some pine cones on the fire for the colours*
*snoring sounds can be heard from the ratnest in the corner under the aspidistra, and even Violet is nodding off*

*sits down at puzzle* I've got the border done today.

Now this is more like it!





Uhh.. okay, now what do I do with it?

I think she expects us to drink the beer from it.

Why? It's already in glass. And such striking glass at that.

I think it has something to do with politeness. Maybe she had a weird upbringing.

You mean like the little girl in "Mommy Dearest"?

Something like that.

So, what now?

We pour the beer into the glass.

Won't that make it go flat? Won't it get warm quicker? Won't it be easier to spill on the carpet?

pour gently, drink fast, and don't be a clutz.

Seems like an awful lot of trouble to go to just to enjoy a beer.

It's free.

Oh. Good point.

Thanks. The food thing is what caused the hangover. I refused to join the long queue for the smorgasbord last night though on second thoughts it would have been wiser to eat... and I wouldn't have had to put up with the 40 conversations which started "Arn't you having anything to eat?

I always do the sky first.

I lay all the pieces out carefully face-side up, then I do the border, and then I just look for interesting patterns and start assembling like pieces into subsets. Cos I don't look at the box, you see, after I've bought it. They're cheap enough to pick up a couple and lay them aside.

And that's what makes me the sort who makes sure beer is drunk in glasses at her salon. Did you not find the glasses with handles, Phil?

Did you get another pet or something?

*bursts out laughing*
Sorry, Colonel. And there I was thinking how much your interior monologues remind me of Peter Sellers.

There's no sky in this puzzle. There's nothing blue, actually.

A day without blue sky is like, well, night.

I don't think this is a night scene. Maybe the sky is completely overcast, unless that's a swathe of concrete. Hm, I can feel the theta wave state coming on.

Similar to a Mexican Wave is it?

Methinks reminding people of Peter Sellers is a good thing, in light of the fact that I've finally seen one of his better works, "Dr. Strangelove." The phone conversations with Premier Kissoff are absolutely priceless.

Hmm... should I return that thing to Blockbuster? It's only a week late...

I don't know what a Mexican wave is... *looks puzzled*

If they wanted it back enough they'd send the police after it.

I've just made the most delicious ravioli I've ever made (ever!). You all simply must have some. The dough is hand made with a bit of garlic and tomatoe in it... wrapped inside each delight is a bit of sharp cheddar, some chopped carrot, a smidge of parsley, a mite of spinach, and some tomatoe. Really really good stuff, since I'm already tooting my own horn.

I am currently building another web thingy, since crosswinds deleted my sight (socialist b*****ds)..

Off to buy some Pumas (online)

*sits up abruptly, having dozed off in front of the fire*

Sporky! I'll not have these Quayle-style spellings in my salon. Tomato, not tomatoe. But oh yes, I certainly will have some of that ravioli for breakfast! It sounds superb.

Are Pumas a kind of shoe?
*gets up and waters Violet then picks up Mindspring and carries her to the kitchen* Breakfast time, baby.

*pops up out of his nest and scurries into the kitchen, trailing feathers*
Ravioli, oh boy, put some in my bowl
*eats ravioli and washes face*
heh heh, better than Mama Petas!
*leaves*
FLAPPP!

Bizarre, Styx. Bizarre.

Hello Shockwave! I don't recollect that you've been here before. Welcome to the salon and gallery -- have you seen the artwork yet? Don't mind Styx, that's my nephew's pet death metal rat. I know he's extremely large even for a cat, let alone a rat, but now that he's started talking I'm getting to quite like him.

Would you like some refreshment?

*Just passing through*

Shockwave
I took a look at your page I think its brilliant, where did you get that stuff from or did you write it yourself?
I didn't know my bank issued licences to kill, I thought they were just blood suckers like the rest.

Oh and Lil
Are you and the celery team aware that Dr E. Vibenstien is running an opinion poll on the election at http://www.h2g2.com/A218819
Looking at the current results it would appear only DD and his team are!
But I'm sure that will get "rectified"

I thought you'd enjoy that tomatoe bit

I was looking for hours for Tomato Il' Struff (a kind of curry thing), and I only found it by dumbing it down to Tomatoe. ARGH!!