h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Thanks to B4 & MR and ltp for the kind words and Hi to Steve. If you've been lurking you'll be able to pick us up as we go along.

I can't bake. It is one of the few womanly arts that I have never mastered, (mistressed?). I can sew ballgowns and curtains, cook consomme and cassoulet, make wonderous mincemeat, I make beautiful pastry, (shortcrust and flaky), and my quiches and jams have won prizes, but I have never in my life managed to bake a cake worth eating!

Oh - and 4/6ths on the Aliens.



Had a lovely day with my godmother at the Greek Orthodox service in Oxford. I love ritual and liturgy and the Orthodox do it so well. It was in Greek, so I didn't get distracted by disagreeing with the theology.

On the way home my car started squeaking when I used the clutch so I have had to cancel my trip to Birmingham tomorrow, but my friend R has found someone who wants the cats, so he is picking them up tomorrow. This is the perfect arrangement, they go to someone she knows and likes, and he has a garden and has given me visiting rights. I will only go once, but I do want to see them enjoy a garden...

But its tomorrow!

B

And I too have many housewifely talents, but sewing is not one of them.

I'm afraid I don't have any housewifely talents. I can brew decent coffee, though. And I used to bake if I had an oven. Sometimes the result was even edible.

I can cook, bake, sew, etc. Just don't ask me to vacuum!

I can sew, knit, crochet, make excellent pastry and make a souffle that rises, I just hate doing it! The bread turned out surprisingly well, we tried a slice, it will go well with some Cheddar.

for the love of god let me in, i've been starved of irreverent debate on my journey to hell and back (although I'm not too sure i've made it all the way back yet, and definitely not unscathed). Is there anybody in there?

hi who-why

I was quiet on the subject of housewifely skills. I dislike hoovering, and once offered someone sexual favours if only they would do my ironing!

B

I sew . All girls my age were ~forced~ to take home economics in school. Sewing and cooking. Because we were all destined to become happy little housewives and mommies.

Hypatia, my grandmother taught me to sew, actually, and when it came time for home ec classes, I got A's in both sewing and cooking, while getting Unsatisfactories for effort for both. I'd made plenty of omelets before I was 12 (I'd made a loaf of french bread from the Joy of Cooking at age 9), and sewing an apron wasn't exactly challenging.

Ben, did they take you up on the offer? I know I'd offer sexual favors for someone to vacuum (hoover) and iron!

oH, and hello who-why.

I will meet another h2g2er this evening. Sir Evil Roy is passing through Utah on a trip of the States, and I will be joining him and his travel mates at one of our local establishment for imbibing. Hmm. Now I have to calculate the list...

Gw7en
Soeasilyamused
FG
MR
Courtesy
JediJade
Anwaith
Arlchinno/Irving Washington
Blatherskite the Mugwump/Col Sellers
and next Evil Roy...

I think that I am missing someone from the list...

At any rate, I will post a journal later detailing the visit.

I forgot our own Dave....

Teuchter:
My wife A— did the Pyrex hoop skirt with a Barbie thing for our daughter’s second birthday. She was a-goggle over it, but all the other kids at the party appreciated it even more, as they were a bit older. It is an easy and ingenious way to liven up a festive cake.

d’E:
Okay, here’s the flashlight…but… um… as you can see, I think it’s gone through some slight amount of mutation due to the radioactivity. I’ll just slip it into this overly large cement sarcophagus, and we’ll use it as the cornerstone for the next expansion of the Atelier. Be sure to look for the inscription “B4 CLI-X 2004” in the foundation, where “X” marks the spot to drill (or use a laser cutting torch) to retrieve it. Or you could turn loose some nanobots to excavate and retrieve it. Or…

Ben:
I can iron like a house afire.
MR:
Vacuuming. Ditto.

{Okay, okay. Just pretend one of the ‘unattached’ Salonistas said that. Some of us were thinking it; I just verbalized it…}

All Sunday morning, right after my Saturday evening 12-hour shift, I was doing my manly chores by taking care of my wife’s new acquisition, a 1993 Nissan Altima. It needed a tune up on the engine, and I’m surprised she bought it and drove it in the condition it was in. it stuttered and hesitated when I drove it to w*rk for a test run to get acquainted with it. I did a thorough once-over of the parts under the hood when I came home in the morning. The fluid levels were the first things to get topped off—all of them. The air cleaner was a mess and had holes in it. The battery’s positive terminal clamp was cracked, so I suspected its contribution to good electrical connectivity. The spark plugs were scorched, the plug wires were okay but one of them pulled loose of the contact to the plug, and the distributor cap and rotor were so oxidized from arcing I’m surprised the electrons could even find their way to the points!

Took a quick trip to the local Auto Zone, bought all the parts for just under a C-note (bought the best), and went home to begin repairs. Air filter in. Check! Drop the spark plugs in, hand tighten, socket tighten ¼ turn. Check! New gasket for distributor, screw down the rotor, attach the cap right-way up. Check! Route the plug cables, attach to plugs, attach to distributor cap, attach condenser wire, too. Check! Replace battery terminal connection by breaking off old one, reaming out the bolt hole, and attaching new clamp directly to it, then affixing it to terminal post. Check! All tools out of the way. Check! Test start the vehicle. VRROOOMM! No jitters or misfires. Good! Exhaust still sounds like the muffler’s leaking by, so instructed A— to look into getting it fixed at a shop. Washed up, made the bed with A—, and crawled off to slumber land about noon.

My wife came in at 5:30 this evening to wake me up. “I thought you were in the shower already. Oh, the power went out a while back and I forgot about the alarm clock. You better get ready for w*rk now…” I usually leave for this shift about a quarter ‘til six, so I can make our turn-over briefing (though don’t have any pastries during our chat). Quick shower. Grab the leftovers for dinner tonight. Jump in the car. Hugged the curves. Made it on time. Thought I’d share with y’all.

B4igetinundatedwithmakebusyw*rk

The monsters will be going to stay with the egg-donor in 2 weeks, they will be staying for 6 weeks. I REALLY don't like this idea but, at this time, there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.

B-4 I am the same way, every time a get a car I usualy go ahead and do a full tuneup and fluid change so I know I am starting fresh, but wow! That car sounds like its owners never touched it...

GDZ, I feel your pain. However I am going to share with you the same advice I didn't want to hear tonight either...

"At one point you obviously saw something in her to make you choose her to be the mother of your child. She loves your daughter too, and the one thing that child needs is love and stability."

So says my better half and I have a hard time arguing with her when she talks in common sense...

Hallo who-why! All's well now, you've come to the right place. Check A304354 for more info about where you've landed, and don't mind the subject headers, we're just writing a story together.

http://www.asterlil.com/journal/pfire.htm

I took more pictures of the fire, including some very spooky night shots. Thumbnails are appended to the original table. Tomorrow will be terrifying; they are going to go ahead with the backfires, and they will be set on the south -- our -- side of the Capitans. We're all packing and looking at how to keep an eye on our animals, just in case.

>> Ben, did they take you up on the offer? I know I'd offer sexual favors for someone to vacuum (hoover) and iron!

No!

Marv - Say Hello to Sir Evil Roy from me - I met him when I was touring the Land Down Under.

Um. B4. I could be persuaded to offer sexual favours for fixing cars as well!

We'll be thinking of you, Lil.



The new owner is coming to pick up the cats in three and a half hours time. I would be very upset if I didn't know that they were going to get a garden to play in, but since this is the only way I can get one for them... it is as ok as it can be. The flat will feel very dead without them.

B

B4, I'll make your lunches for a month if you vacuum for me (see, that neatly sidesteps the issue of impropiety).

I don't know how some of my students got to be graduating seniors in college. Some of them couldn't write their way out of a paper bag, while others...well, if they organize their lives as badly as their papers, I wonder how they actually stayed alive this long.

Oh, dear. That makes me sound old.

On a brighter note, the STBX is GONE, GONE, GONE. He is doing a security training exercise for a month, and when he gets back, he will taking an AGR (basically, a full-time position with his unit) as training NCO. Which means he can finally get his stuff out of my house and let me get on with my life. Not that I'm not already...I apparently have a date tomorrow for a memorial day picnic and Laker game session!

for MR!

I've been having some odd trouble while logging on since yesterday - I end up on a SSO demo 1 page saying that I'm not allowed to use it since I'm over 15 years old... Anyone else experiencing this?