h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Eh, what? Sorry m'dear, thats me bad ear you're talking to. Hang, about, I'll come back.

*rides back from around the other corner of the building followed by a whole remuda of horses, including a big gray percheron and a black stallion*

Don't nobody try to get on that black -- he done made it clear he belongs to Miz Lil! *spins his horse, showing a great patch of dust right down the back of his vest, and grins*

But these others is ready to ride. Some old geezer named Amos saddled them all up. They was all at a big livery stable down thataway.

*Picks out a nice looking chestnut coloured mare with a black mane and tail. Swings up into the saddle and pats it on the neck. Waits for the others to mount.*

*Eyes the horses nervously.*

I think I'll wait to see if Munchkin comes back with the wagon.

Si, bella senorita! The old man said he was gonna harness up his two big horses to the coach and come out after I told him what was up. I seen him throwing a big old shotgun in the boot of the stagecoach, too.

*comes bounding along at a clip, quite upset at almost letting herself get left behind...got too busy poking about in her bag of tricks...*

*slows when she notices the horses and walks quietly up to the assembled group. runs an eye over the horses available and spots a chestnut mare, 16.3 with three socks and a narrow white blaze. pats the horse's nose, offers her a lump of sugar from her knapsack, puts a foot in the stirrup and swings aboard*

I must say I like the provided transportation for this quest!
Right then.
*her mare paws impatiently, shakes her head*

*nods in approval of Miz Odradek's choice* She's a big one, ain't she? Plenty of bone and legs as straight as rail ties, she'll carry you all day. Me, I'd still of took that black if I could, he's a dandy. But after old Amos was done laughing at me, when the black pitched me off, he told me that was Miz Lil's special ride.

That bay Mr. Wolf took, he's a dependable fellow from the look of him, too.

Who else is riding with us?

[Zero and X exchange a glance, shrug, teleport out, and teleport back in wearing cowboy outfits instead of their Reploid armor. Zero looks somewhat ridiculous with his waist-length blonde hair. The only thing that indicates that they're Reploids is that they have control crystals on their forheads and that each is wearing the bits of armor that was on their wrists. Each has blaster pistols in their holsters, but it isn't clear if they intend to use it.]

[X] 'Scuse me, Pardner, but we're in!

[He and Zero each get on horses.]

[Zero] Mind if we get close to the front so we can protect everyone?

*Carmel rumages in the stuff piled in he wagon and finds a rather gay gingham bonnet, which she puts on. It clashes baddly with her hazmat suit. She also finds a plastic shot gun and loads a cork in each barrel.*

I'm ready to roll...er..um...pardners is it?

*to warm up her team she runs a quick loop around the party. For dogs that appear in every way NOT built for speed the pugs move well. Carmel manages not to drop the reins or fall from the wagon. She does not spook the horses, perhaps because they are silently laughing.*

Any camels back there? I have ridden one of those, they can get a far speed up if you mention camel hair coats

I think I'm probably better off in the wagon. That's if a 4x4 isn't forthcoming, strange how behind the times Hootoo Island is in some ways.

I'm with you, Caer. Let's see if we can't make ourselves useful in the wagon.

*Checks her pda, notes that there are no imminent appointments for Car Pool Mom, nods and packs it away in the totebag.*

I'm in for the duration.

*authentic stagecoach noises from behind knoll*

*a large stagecoach pulled by two Clydesdales appears over the rise and pulls up near the assembled company*

Whooooooah Bonnie! Whoah Clyde!

Well, here I am. I can take 6 inside, 2 on top, one to ride shotgun and yer luggage in the boot.

A real stagecoach!

I'll take an inside seat.


Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy ride.

*Climbs in and examines the complete lack of creature comforts.*

Inside for me too! In those old cowboy films it's always riding on top that get it first

Also we can have a few snacks and drinks without them being blown away in the wind.

*stashes her dragonFLYbot and herself on the top of the stagecoach*

I feel a bit out of place in my early 20th Century flying jacket but it's too late to change now.

[Zero] Too bad you can't teleport independant of armor the way we can ...

[X] Yeah ... You'd make a lovely cowgirl like Zero here!

[Zero] HEY!!


[Squall] Oh great, more "Mega Man X amiguously gay couple" jokes.

/* Decides to show his great horseman skills and picks a particularly horsey-looking horse. He hefts Zeppo into one saddlebag and some rocks into the other to even out the weight, then mounts. */

Who said these things didn't come with side cars?

/* Removes a black mask from his pocket and places it over his eyes, then puts on a white hat. */

I'm ready.

alright, boys and girls, let's ride!

*appears, breathless*

wow, you all move quick!

*chooses a lovely tan mare with dark feet and tail, jumps on her back*

i love riding bareback...

*ambles over to the big black horse, and scratches his neck while the two horses snuffle each other inquisitively*

Hey there, Ferarri...don't worry, we'll get Lil back
He's definitely a nice horse indeed!

Have the horses names, or can we come up with our own? I'm rather fond of this one...I've always been partial to chestnut mares, no matter the old wives' tales one hears about them.
*the mare's ear flicks back, listening to that last remark and deciding whether she resents it or not...*

I feel a bit out of place myself in these clothes , but maybe I can change a bit later on...
*wonders if throwing on a pair of chaps over her plaid bondage pants would help her authenticity...probably not...*