h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

OK. So how to start. Well, I think that... I've been having a feeling that... I might like women at least as much as I like men. There! I've said it!
In fact, I've known this for quite some time and I don't have any problems with it, nor would my friends and family, I'm sure. My problem, rather, is this: how do you find people who feel the way you do (IRL, I mean)? I don't want to put on a big fat lesbian attitude (please yell at me if this sounds offending. I'll try to explain what I mean), but then I don't see myself chatting someone up who would then most likely back away from me. And so on and so on and so on. I'm confused. Anybody interested in helping me out there?

I insist, you know

In short - it's f*****g impossible. I haven't found a frequently successful way yet. Though the Internet is useful!

So you like women and men. I'm in the same situation myself.

Where to meet other women:

* the gay community in your area. This can run the range from support groups that meet weekly, to political rights movements, to local bookstores with large sections on alternative sexualities, to bars and nightclubs serving gay clientele, to services at churches with mostly gay constituents. If you don't know where to begin, try finding a gay support group or community center. Ask someone there for more info.

* the internet. The internet can be a good place to try, but you must be careful. Some desperate straight men pretend to be lesbians in order to engage in cybersex. For this reason, I would reject any offers for immediate gratification. Nevertheless, lesbian and bi-female meeting places are common in most chat-based areas of the internet and I've heard of many success stories where casual conversation led to a relationship.

* science fiction conventions. Nobody knows why, but an abnormal percentage of science fiction fans embrace alternative sexualities. The trick is breaching the subject, and for this I have found discussing Robert Heinlein's books comes in handy.

* personals ads. It's just harder to find women when you're a bisexual lady, and so a surprising number turn to personals ads. These can be run over the internet or in a local newspaper. The response is generally very good, but it's a gamble as to whether you will get candidates you are really interested in.

* real life. Women who have come out in their neighborhoods sometimes get offers from other women. Similarly, women who aren't out are sometimes lucky enough to find an attractive lady they know is bisexual or a lesbian. It's generally unwise to make passes at straight or unidentified women, but sometimes luck runs your way and the only problem is getting up the nerve to make the first move.

Thanks for the suggestions - although I have to admit that I had been hoping for... I don't know... some easier way (because joining a community or placing an ad in a newspaper is exactly the thing I don't want to do.)
I love the bit about the science fiction conventions, though...

Also keep looking. You can find people looking at you in some of the unlikeliest settings. Like Marc and me who just meet at a sports event organised by work. We both kept looking at each other for most of the evening before finding ourselves passing in the corridor to the toilets later on. We both agreed it was the questions the eyes were asking that made us both step up to ask the other was he gay. So read the eyes of those around you. Yes we all amke mistakes but we learn from them.

Also I have some of my straight friends say that if they ever 'turned' gay they's do want to do it with me. Somthing I will probably never allow them to do.

Keep your eyes open. That's some good advice.

Wierd Sister, I'm sorry I couldn't give you step-by-step instructions guaranteed to yield results without social embarrassment. I don't know of any such method, though.

I could always make up some comforting instructions for you.

Wait until there's a full moon out and it's just before midnight. Find the nearest road marked University Street. Travel to the east (if east-west) or north (if north-south) on the street for four blocks. Then turn around three times and yell 'I've got nice breasts and lots of disposable income!' When you've stopped twirling, the girl of your dreams will have materialized in one of several nearby collegs pubs. Look for the pub with the silliest looking decor. Her name is Samantha, and she prefers Guinness.

Fragilis,
believe it or not: I actually live on University Street. And, living on campus, the college pub with the truly silliest decor is within spitting distance.
Thanks for giving me directions. I'm off to the pub now!

And a prophet is born! LOL.

Good luck.

Weird Sister, I know exactly how you feel. I've been asking the same question for a while now and I too have a reluctance to do anything too proactive which has even the slightest chance of back firing. Take it slowly and don't worry about labling yourself or thinking about what it all means.

Above all, remember, that if you find the answer you must remember to tell me.

Yours, in hope for a more exciting future for both of us, and happy self-discovery,
Cathy

Only one thing is worse than asking someone out and geting shot down in flames what if they say YES!!!!!

P.S.which sci-fi conventions have you been to the closest thing i have seen is when i saw sarah sutton,janet fielding and tom baker in the bath*


*OK it was the bath arms puplic house near longleat house.