h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

saints 0 pompey 2...YAKUBU
spurs 1 gunners 3...REYES
fulham 1 chelsea 1...TERRY
newcastle 1 man u 3...RONALDO
yeading 1 halesowen 3...MOORE

Southampton 1-2 Portsmouth (Yakubu)
Tottenham 1-1 Arsenal (Defoe)
Fulham 0-1 Chelsea (Robben)
Newcastle 2-1 Man Utd (Kluivert)
Yeading 2-1 Halesowen Town (Pope)

Southampton 1 v 1 Portsmouth (Yakubu)

Tottenham 1 v 2 Arsenal (Reyes)

Fulham 1 v 3 Chelsea (Gudjohnsen)

Newcastle 2 v 2 Man Utd (Bellamy)

Yeading 2 v 0 Halesowen Town (Campbell)

Southampton v Portsmouth 1-1 (Yakubu)
Tottenham v Arsenal 1-2 (Ljungberg)
Fulham v Chelsea 0-2 (Gudjohnsen)
Newcastle v Man Utd 1-1 (Shearer)
Yeading v Halesowen Town <-- FA Cup 1st round 4-1 (Campbell)

Yak.

Southampton 0-1 Portsmouth (Berger)
Tottenham 0-2 Arsenal (Reyes)
Fulham 1-2 Chelsea (Malbranque)
Newcastle 1-0 Man Utd (Shearer)
Yeading 0-0 Halesowen Town (--)

Just dashing in -


Southampton 1 - 1 Portsmouth (Stefanovic)
Tottenham 1 - 1 Arsenal (Keane)
Fulham 1 - 0 Chelsea (Malbranque)
Newcastle 1 - 0 Man Utd (Shearer)
Yeading 1 - 1 Halesowen Town (Haule)

Southampton 0 Portsmouth 2 - Yakubu
Tottenham 1 Arsenal 3 - Henry
Fulham 0 Chelsea 2 - Lampard
Newcastle 0 Man Utd 3 - Rooney
Yeading 0 Halesowen Town 0 <-- FA Cup 1st round

Southampton 2-2 Portsmouth (Yakubu)
Tottenham 0-3 Arsenal (Henry)
Fulham 1-3 Chelsea (Gudjohnsen)
Newcastle 1-2 Manchester Utd.(van Nistelrooy)
Yeading 2-1 Halesowen Town (Campbell)

Saturday morning predictions seem to be very fashionable at the minute...

B

Yes. Maybe I should throw in the odd Friday evening fixture just to catch everyone out

Provisional results show that there is going to be quite a lot of movement at the top end of the table. For starters, we are guaranteed a change of leader

Oh - Goody Gum Drops.

Yeading 2-1 Halesowen Town (own goal, although the shot that caused it was by Alex Stanley)

and I am now a proper radio match reporter, having reported on my first 'proper' match

I was extremely disappointed that BBCi's radio reports did not include the Yeading match - I would have welcomed the opportunity to see hootoo's own sports reporter in action.

I took consolation in listening to Scunthorpe v Chesterfield, which alleviated a fair amount of disappointment, to be honest.

B

hearty congratulations to no.6 who most certainly did as well as the w***ers who announce the premiership matches televised in the states; a bright future to him!

Master B, i want your secret... i would love to be able to "see" games on the radio! with no decoder, i have to listen to the radio and watch a blurry picture along with it when OL is on canal+ ... not really television, but better than the radio by itself.

lastly...

FORZA MAGPIES!!

Ahem! _Hear_ hootoo's own sports reporter in action, I meant, of course.

B

I told you that it was a busy day at the top of the table

The chasers Demon Drawer and Ormondroyd have bust through to take the first two places, with McKay having an absolute mare of weekend and falling to fifth!

But neither of these two racers actually won this week's competition. That honour goes to Owlatron with a rather fine 13 points - well done Sir

-------------

The Results:

Southampton 2-1 Portsmouth (JAKOBSSON, Blackstock, Phillips)

Tottenham 4-5 Arsenal (NAYBET, Henry, Lauren, Vieira, Defoe, Ljungberg, King, Pires, Kanoute)

Fulham 1-4 Chelsea (LAMPARD, Diop, Robben, Gallas, Tiago)

Newcastle 1-3 Man Utd (ROONEY, Van Nistelrooy, Shearer)

Yeading 2-1 Halesowen Town (HAYWOOD, Cowley, Campbell)

-------------

The Points:

Owlatron - 13 points (Spurs result & scorer; Fulham result, scorer & 1st scorer; Newcastle result, scorer & 1st scorer; Yeading result)

Otto Fisch - 12 points (Spurs result & scorer; Fulham result, scorer & 1st scorer; Newcastle scorer; Yeading result, score & scorer)

Ormondroyd - 12 points (Spurs result & scorer; Fulham result; Newcastle result & scorer; Yeading result, score & scorer)

Demon Drawer - 12 points (Spurs scorer; Fulham result, scorer & 1st scorer; Newcastle result, scorer & 1st scorer; Yeading result & scorer)

Tobbot - 11 points (Spurs result & scorer; Fulham result, scorer & 1st scorer; Newcastle result, scorer & 1st scorer)

Bottletop - 10 points (Spurs result & scorer; Fulham result; Newcastle result, scorer & 1st scorer; Yeading scorer)

Yakusmaximus - 9 points (Spurs result & scorer; Fulham result; Newcastle scorer; Yeading result & scorer)

sprout - 9 points (Spurs result & scorer; Fulham result; Newcastle result, scorer & 1st scorer)

riotact - 9 points (Spurs result & scorer; Fulham result; Newcastle scorer; Yeading result & scorer)

Psycorp603 - 8 points (Fulham result, scorer & 1st scorer; Newcastle result & scorer; Yeading result & score)

Number Six - 7 points (Spurs scorer; Fulham result & scorer; Yeading result & score)

Iamnazzy - 7 points (Spurs result; Fulham result; Yeading result & scorer)

Meisere - 5 points (Spurs result; Newcastle result & score)

me[Andy]g - 5 points (Spurs result & scorer; Yeading result)

GreyDesk - 5 points (Spurs result; Fulham result; Newcastle scorer)

I, Master B - 3 points (Soton result; Spurs scorer)

McKay The Disorganised - 1 points (Newcastle scorer)

Well done Owlatron!

As for the top of the table, I think it's clear that the secret of success is to join the Liberal Democrats. Demon Drawer and I are both proud card-carrying members of Charlie Kennedy's orange army!

So the conspiracy is revealed !

LIB-DEMS fix football matches.

Well now I know what I'm up against.

it's my birthday today, and all i want to say is... Newcastle, thanks for NOTHING!!