h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

We used to put food colouring in our milk. Nobody likes to steal green milk. If they are that desperate, perhaps you should consider just letting them *have* the milk anyway? Its only 30p a pint.

I ANDROKTONE

oh bugger. i meant

This actually happened:

I had been to the supermarket about one morning and brought a big (is it 2 or 4 pint) milk carton. I went to use it for the first time that evening and it wasn't there. rather annoyed i marched into the local village to pick up some more and on the way in bumped into a friend - an exchange student from america, recently arrived - and he asked what I was doing so I told him, 'someone had stolen my milk.' 'Oh' said he. 'It wasn't one of those big tubs was it?'
'Yes' I said suspiciously 'why do you know who took it?'
'well, yeah it was me, but I didn't know it was yours....


I'll pause here for a moment to just set up the revelation.....


'some guy sold it to me this morning.'

*blink* *blink* 'WHAT?'

'yeah, I was in there about lunchtime and I said I had to go to the shops for milk and he said I could have his, I gave him, like £1 for it.'

---------------------------------

My milk was not only taken, unknowingly by Abe, it was actually sold on a black market!

Clive.

How rude!

And yet... how ingenious.. (a certain awe has been inspired ..

I had a goth living on my sofa who kept stealing my coffee. I tried several rather devious tactics, but the only one that made any difference was picking him up and throwing him out of the window (only a ground floor one you understand)