h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I like the new version even better than the last, but you've still got some typos in there. So unless you post an objection, I,ll leave some revisions for the revised entry here in this forum.
Bye now

Great guide entry... about food and such... me loves doughnuts by the way... ~grin~

Hi There! You found it. Groovey.

Yes me did... and very impressed me was... ~Grin~... you seem to be fitting in here at h2g2 jolly well... it's terribly nice around here...

Well have a dozen or so on me. (doughnuts materialize)And check out what I've been doing with my page.

I must say I was amazed at the lack of imagination. If you really want your food to remain un-stolen you have to gross the others out.

Cheese: Either wrap some of your own toe nail cuttings in with it, or leave large bite marks on it.

Milk: Blue food colour improves the "Experiment" method. Also wipe a bit of Blue cheese aroud the bottle/cartoon top. Fridge thiefs always smell milk prior to stealing it as they do not know how old it is. The cheese will make it smell off.

All drinks including milk: When entire house is present, take drink from fridge. Drink from bottle and spitt back into the bottle.

I have heard of things done with condoms and yougart but that is just too gross for a family forum

Chris

Yes, but then you don't want to eat it either.

If you are refering to the last thing I mentioned the condoms and yougart, believe me I have seen this in action. It wasn't pretty. The teth marks in the cheese is the only one I ever tried, and it did work.



Chris

Teeth marks...
Aahh yes...

Condoms and youghurt was the one.

You could, given the proper time and inclination, carve the cheese into a delicate sculpture (perhaps mimicking Michalangenlo's David or some such) the thief may after all be an art lover. Or not.

On the subjet of cheese, a friend recently told me his girlfriend/mother/sister/female acquaintance/casual shag went to Weight Watchers® and was told grated cheese has less calories than solid cheese.

The only explanation we could think of is tha when-ever you grate cheese all you house mate always steal some, therefore you eat less

CH

Perhaps it was the action of actualy grating the cheese rather than a casual slice with a knife. This activity might just start to burn a few calories. In that case the net gain is diminished.

Just a thought.

Clive

The "milk experiment" ruse was first brought to my attention in "Virtual Light", by William Gibson, which I read a few weeks ago.
Perhaps you got it from there, or did Gibson steal it when it became an "urban myth"?

It may well be that so many milk containers resemble biological experiments it eloved simutaneously everywhere at once?

I found solid cream in the back of my fridge yesterday. I was not amused. (actually, I was rather frightened) Not that you all really needed to know that.

When the contents of a fridge scare the owner you really may need to clear it out. I recently de-frosted mine for the first time in yers and found some long lost plastic drink things lurking in the ice I had completly forgotten about.

CH

Re: "Solid Cream"

A few years back at a barbeque in our garden that lasted into the wee hours we collectivly decided to break out some of the spirits lurking at the back of the shelves in the cuboard. And 'lurking' is not meaningless hyperbole, these bottles had been there YEARS. The baileys had come off the worst The cream had separated from the rest and had solidified into cheese in the middle of the bottle floating in a sea of pure alcohol, we couldn't get at that though because the cheese kept on plugging up the bottleneck. Needless to say we decided against further exploration of the drinks cuboard and went back to our cans of larger. It might still be there for all I know.

the phrase "like having your brain smashed out by a slice of lemon..................wrapped round a large gold brick" for some reason springs to mind

CH

They sell Pan-galactic Gargleblasters at this club at Uni in Hull, it's called "Spiders" if ever you are up near there. A bit to aniseedy for my tatses though, another cocktail favourite is the Green monster , 8 shots of god-knows-what and that really does leave you feeling like your brain has been smashed by a lemon wrapped around a large gold brick. The taste is something like...Um...just try imaging the peculiar flavour off every skittle (Tm.) in the packet at one...and vodka and your probably getting close.

Clive