h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

With all the hi tech equipment we have here (A Sand Bucket AND A Wet Towel!) you have no worry's.

I'm off to buy a Dress Uniform, I was thinking an off the shoulder red rubber catsuit with lots of gold braid around the wrist?

You could ask Lintilla about the uniform - she's in the thread called "Uniforms and Space Clothing"...

I'll pop over to see her then.

hey is there a opening for the Cheif Demolisions Officer?

Do they get to wear rubber too?

Certainly you can be the Chief Demolitions Officer, Yowuzupman!

Excellent I'll start making the equipment now!

Do you get towear rubber too?

Wanted: Non- Masochist With Low Pain Threshhold For Torture And Experiment.
Must Not Like Fire, Whips, Needles, Or Glass.

Alternitevly, Any Person As Secretary To Tell Me If Anything's Going On.

Or Just A General Lackey. I Won't Hurt You In This Job.

And An Assasin To Kill Greven Il-Vec And Crovax.

Just so you know, STUMPED has agents who can be hired for assasination.

they can kill you with hungry hippos armed with serraded teeth

Well, we won't kill people. The most we can do is make them deaded. But that's about the worst anyone on h2g2 could do. I'm sure if you go to the STUMPED message board and try the conversation "reporting for duty", you'll have a few dozen super villains out to kill whoever it is you want deaded.

--All hail Minos, leader of the Krylma!--

I'm Evil. Can I Join Stumped?

Satan Worships Me.

I thought this was under the juristriction of bluDragon, Dragon Queen of Damogram (TM)*, but she seems to be having technical problems
She's not been round in months

http://www.h2g2.com/U15304 for her site

It's none of my business who is joining STUMPED and who isn't, but I wish it wouldn't be discussed here in the Space Centre... If Krylma wishes to provide a link when I'm not watching, fine, but keep the villainous plans officially out of here... Thank you!

*Muttering under his breath*

Oh, just you wait, Alien. This station will soon be the gateway that will open up all of the doors of oportunity for me...

*Looks at everyone in shock*

Did I just say that out loud? Er, anyway, I'm sorry Alien. It would be totally unbuisineslike to type something like http://www.h2g2.com/A329014, or http://www.h2g2.com/A316658. I will refrain from any further soliciting.

Oh, by the way, Alien, do you mind if I rent a hangar? After all, you let Red have a hangar, and he's more infamous than I am. So could I?

You want a hangar? Oh dear... I have a feeling I really shouldn't grant you one... The reason I permitted Red to use one was - umm... I'm sure I had a good reason... I wouldn't have given him one just for flashing a membership card I knew nothing about at the time would I...

Oh, right, where was I?

Krylma - I guess I don't have a choice here... It would be against the centre's policy not to rent hangar for anyone who needs one... And since I haven't catched you doing anything wrong around here I have no official reason not to give you one... But any illegal business and you'll be suspended from the centre - that's what I told Red too!

Now, which number would you like to have?

*Grins, and a cold wind seems to blow through the room*

Don't worry, Alien. There is no law against what I plan to use the hangar for. Now, may I have Hangar Infinity?

*If there were candles in the room, they would be flickering*

*mumbles something about people not being happy with simple numbers but always asking for impossible*

We don't have hangar infinity... We have hangars up to number 536... Feel free to choose any number that's not already in use... And paint "infinity" onto the door if you wish...

*Mumbles something about knowing that infinity is only an expression that describes what numbers are, but will accept Alien's advice*

Alright, then. I think I'll take Hangar 535. But it will *be* hangar infinity when I'm through with it.

*Grins that evil grin, and takes the key to Hangar 535 from Alien*

Thank you, Alien. Now if you'll excuse me, I have schemes to plot, evil alliances to make, supervillains to initiate, and several people to stare at until they feel uneasy. I'll be back soon. And thank you again for your unprejiduced generosity in giving me access to a hangar.