h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

~A tall figure in black with a long, blood red cape and an oversized scarlet mask in the shape of a skull covering his entire head -- the type which would look at home in a Dias de los Muertos parade, or possibly Batman Returns -- enters Hangar 41 where, just as his unnamed accomplice had informed him, a black and red spacecraft has been illegaly parked for his use. "Black and red" he discovers, doesn't begin to describe this work of art. The black body of the ship appears to have been painted by the same artist who designed the black craft certain space travelers found parked beneath the Restaraunt at the End of the Universe. Light actually bends around it. The red on the nose stripes down the sides and makes the already aerodynamic craft appear to be traveling at faster than light speeds when, actually, it is illegaly docked right here. Red particularly appreciates the hood ornament, which is a replication of his own trademark mask.~

Well, this exterior is lovely. I suppose checking out the interior will have to wait. It can't be long until I'm discovered here. Then again...

~Red presses his gloved finger into a small hole by the door which would be invisible if the crimson stripe did not pass over it. The door opens, and he enters the ship. Though it's obviously been parred down to handle higher speeds with more weapons and stronger sheilds, the interior is suprisingly roomy. The crago hold has been converted into a prison hold, which will come in handy if he happens to take his enemies alive. There is just enough space for the entire bridge crew of the ship he will be tailing. Two compartments of the ship has been outfitted as living quarters, should sleep appear neccisary. The cockpit of the craft has two chairs. The second is, of course, unneccisary as the ship has been designed to be piloted by a crew of one. Should Red acquire a sidekick, however, the weapons and navigation controls can be transfered to the control panel in front of the second seat. Red presses a button and the panel in front of his extremly comfortable chair springs to life.~

"You've got Mail"

What the?

~One message blinks on his ship's console~

"Here, as requested is your craft. Continue as ordered to tail the Ship in question. Should they reach Zork, the use of Lethal Force is Authorized. That is all.

/Your Silent Partner"

~Red smiles. This is going to be fun.~

I suppose I should see what I can do about getting people not to nose around his ship.

~Getting out of his leather chair, grabs a remote control from the console. He exits the craft and presses a button on the remote. The ship's door closes, and the craft disappears~

I think I'll name this ship...

The Raven.

~Red exits the hangar, looking for...~

*wonders if something's going on in hangar 41 but decides then it's just her imagination - unused hangars are always sealed and no unauthorized visits there are possible*

~...looking for Alien, whom he finds just outside. He sneaks up behind her so that she cannot suspect that he's entered the hangar through... unconventional methods~

Er... ma'm? Sorry to disturb you, but you see, I represent a very large, ver powerful, very rich inter-stellar organization who would be quite pleased if you would let me use this hangar in complete secrecy. No questions asked. I'm afraid that they've already managed to illegaly park a space craft in the hangar, but they would, of course, be better served, I think, if we had your legitamate permission. We would never dream of coercing you, of course.

~he says, discreetly revealing the laser pistol he has been concealing.~

This can't be good...

*thinks about some good way to escape from the situation without being shot or forced to give a permission to use the hangar which she already almost decided to do before the masked person pulled out his gun ruining his every chance to legally use the hangar*

It's a beatiful modle, isn't it? ~He hands her the mock-up laser pistol which has been crafted from platinum and has an engraving on the hilt~

It's given by my employers to people whom they honor. See? It's got your name on it at the bottom "To Alien, with Great Affection, The League". It's yours if you let me have the hangar.

*Science officer Afgncaap5 wanders towards the two*

Ah, so this is the lucky person who gets to be in the hangar right next to mine.

Alien, I've finished the dogfighters. I used ships from the video game "Escape Velocity" as models. I've got scoutships, Protectors, Lightnings, Kestrels, Patrol Ships, Mantas, Argosys, . . . the whole works! I've even fitted the Kestrel with that new cloaking technology I told you about. Well, that's all for now. I'm off to make final preparations for my departure!

*Heads to Hangar 42*

~mutters something about making his final preperations for Afgncaap5's departure~

So, Alien, could I have this hangar? Pretty please? Look, the Union will even back me up

~shows S.T.U.M.P.E.D. membership card~

/Red

Hmmm...as Security Chief, I'm not sure I like the look of this. I'm keeping an eye on you, Red.

(I suppose it's time I started doing something constructive around here )

*is quite relieved she didn't get shot after all*

So.. What should I say... You can't bribe me, that's for sure!! But since you're asking so nicely... And that membership card looks very convincing... (has no idea what S.T.U.M.P.E.D. is...) I think I'll just let you secretly use the hangar... FOR NOW!!! And NO troublemaking!!! B.E.D. has his eye on you...

~wonders what B.E.D. is~

Thank you very much. I want to be in compliance. Now if you'll just lend me the key, so that I don't have to break and enter...

~smile~

I'll be grateful.

B.E.D. is me (note the name).

Well, Mr. Evil Dan, I can assure you that my dealings here are quite legitimate.

/Red

Hmmm...I've looked into this STUMPED organization. I'm not sure I like it, but you have yet to commit a crime, so I'll leave it alone for now. This gets more confusing when you consider the fact that I am an evil saint. Do you have any idea how conflicting my morals are?

*enters with the cape flowing behind*

*hollow voice*

Good afternoon, Red. Now what is our plan around here?

Be cautious. That man there is the security Cheif on the ship we have to tail. We're only going to make trouble for them on their way to Zork, but if they get there in one peice, and pick up the Peace Treaty, we get to use ~grin~ Lethal Force. In a moment -- when I get the key from the wonderful owner of this space center -- I'll show you the ship.

/Red

You know, it would probably be a good idea to say such things when I'm still in the room. Did you say something about...lethal force?

Crater Labs, Inc. fleet blasting off from Hangar 42

Okay, okay, here's the key... Didn't I already give it to you??

*Wonders if there's another costume party at the hangar #41... Disappears as the fleet takes off because it gets too hard to keep up a duplicate from a distance*

*A lemon mirengue(?) pie hits the closest window from the outside, splattering all over it*

I said nothing about lethal force, and even if I did, it wasn't within earshot of you. You're supposed to be the good guy, now stop spying. That's something bad guys do.

~gratefully accepts key from Alien and then adopts serious tone~

I notice PiB, your application for membership with S.T.U.M.P.E.D. has been accepted. This is good. All is going according to plan.

~Opens hangar door, revealing an empty hangar~

After you

~Follows PiB into Hangar 41 and closes door securly behind them. They are alone in a vast chamber that appears empty, except for the mechanical items one might expect in such a place of high tech maintainence. Power Wrenches, Laser Welders, miscellaneous Hyper Drive components. Red presses a button on the remote control in his hand and suddently, a mid sized but ominous looking space craft -- black with crimson markings -- fades into visiblilty. It was here all along, masked from view by special technology stolen from Crater Labs, Inc. with the use of a time machine. Apparently Red has friends in high (or low) places.~

I give you, the Raven

~Entering the Raven, the two dark figures position themselves in the cockpit. Red flips on the controls~

"You've Got Mail"


From: Lanore
To: The Mask of the Red Rejection eMail

The reconaisance bot you placed in Afgncaap5's craft has sent word that they have left the station. More Later


Lets go! We have little time!

/Red