h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Nothing like cool, space age h2o in a flimsy paper cone to keep me going!

::drinks from glorified water cooler::

Ah! Now that's the stuff!

So this isn't one of those machines who think they know what you want and always give the same stuff? Just plain ordinary water...? Good!

Pure... delicious... satisfying! Drink Water!

Mmmm...water.

*enters. surveys the dismal scene*

Hmmm ... methinks this thread is going nowhere.

*takes out his Big gun and wastes the machine, then runs for cover, pursues by an angry water-drinking mob*

*leads the furious mob with a shovel in her hand intending to catch the whoever it was to destroy the only peaceful moment on the station*

Don't worry, Alien. He's safely in custody at http://www.h2g2.com/F35868?thread=55215&post=429026. :-)

BED, did you just take a security officer hostage???

He locked himself up, actually. Easiest catch I ever made.

Hello? I am, as BED just said, in custody. This presents some serious problems.

1. Since BED relies on me to do all his work, the Space center will slowly but surely slide into anarchy while i am locked up. therefore i push for a fair trial asap.

2. Who is going to haul me up before AXR, the judGe, to stand trial?

3. Who will notify Moose that the water machien needs to be reapaired?

4. Who will protect me from being lynched while on the way to the Courthouse?

Uh, you aren't still locked up, are you? If Big Evil Dan does supervision, and you're the only one he supervises, and you do all the security work and you are locked up....something's wrong with this picture. I'm not sure what, but I'll figure it out eventually....

*Passes by the Water cooler*

Holy Merciful C***! The water cooler!!! Bring me a repair kit, stat!

*Begins talking to the watercooler*

It's alright, I'll get you back up and running in no time.

*Water Cooler beeps and gurgles in response*

I know, I know.

*Some ensign runs in with an emergency repair kit and Moose instantly begins repairing the water cooler*

Of course I'm not locked up now. I'm in the courthouse thread having a celebratory steak dinner with everone here. You're welcome to join me!

Thanks for the invite. Unfortunately, I already ate, and got your message too late. Maybe next time.

*Five weeks after that fateful posting, Chrome returns to the water machine. It is now working perfectly, thanks to Moose, and it hums away in its little corner, happy as can be. Chrome approaches. He stands still, saying nothing for a while, then says:*

Do you forgive me?

*The water machine bubbles.*

Thank you! *Chrome's eyes well up with gratitude. He runs to the machine and flings his arms round it. Another happy ending.*

*...or is it? *

*Dan walks into the room, needing a cool, refreshing water after 8 straight hours of doing nothing. As he proceeds to fill his cup, he notices Chrome's wallet attached to one of the water cooler's mechanical appendages.*

Hmm. How did that get there?

*The water cooler bubbles, sounding almost like a snicker.*