h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well, Alien, we've got Marv hooked up with the Pope-Mobile modle, and Big Evil Dan has laid claim to that steaming wreck over there *points and shouts* can we get a mechanic on that?
Doctor John? Here, have a test drive on the BHS modle, and then you can try the other when you get back... *presses some buttons* the autopilot should avoid the stars on the way back this time... hopefully

~Irving

I'm adding Marv and Dan to the files...

And I have no idea where all the mechanics are at the moment but that ship doesn't look so bad I couldn't fix it... *Walks whistling to the wreck, touches something that shouldn't have been touched and causes a minor explosion.* Umm... I'd better find a mechanic... Don't worry Dan, it'll be fine... And there shouldn't be anything wrong with the autopilots... Unless they're calibrated back there in our Galaxy which undoubtedly has stars in different spots...?

*Dr J looks worriedly at Alien as he hears comment about autopilot calibration*

Are you sure this has been tested properly, Irv? i know I need a holiday but I'd like to go somewhere of my own choosing.

Dr. J, Dr. J, Dr. J... it's only the default autopilot that you have to worry about. Just be sure to program your course into the ship's computer before pushing the autopilot button.

~Irving

I'm glad you explained that.
OK Here goooooeeeeesssss *A flash of brilliant light and the jet-black ship is just one more star in the sky receding rapidly*

If he's not done with that test drive in due time, we'll assume he chose that one

~Irving

*Silence, the jet-black ship reappears as if out of nowhere...still silence...then a sound growing oh so slowly but all too fast towards pain threshold......then silence*




*A hatch opens, Dr J's head pops out*

Not bad, Irv. If you can get it properly tuned up, I'll take it.

Sorry I've been away for the weekend so I haven't had time to choose my ship to hire.

Is there a black and red one that goes really fast? I was hoping to do some stunt flying practice before the holidays.

Oh yes I do need to hire a hanger too if that's possible, I'll put a message in the hanger hire place for one.

SallyM

*shouts* You mechanics! Get working on Dr. J's spacecraft!

*normal, loud, salesman voice* Now, SallyM, a black and red ship, right. And when you say "goes really fast" do you mean that it's really fast manuverable at sublight speeds? Or that it's hyperdrive is exceptional?

~Irving

Irv, why don't you let Sally M join me on a quick test drive?

I don't see any reason why not... you'd have to ask _her_ though

~Irving

Irv, why do you keep underlining all your spaces? Is it some kind of dread disease??

No, it's an attempt to emphasize the words that the underlines are around.

~Irving

I see. So_that's_ what it is. I was _worried_. ;_)

I'm _so_ sorry to worry you, Doctor John.

~Irving

_OK_ is that ship ready yet? I gotta get to Santraginus V b4 dawn.

I thought you were waiting for Sally M

~Irving

See! I told you I could do it.

Yeah, maybe. But if your mechanics have tuned this beast properly I'll be back before I go.

Good point. The ship is yours

~Irving