Meet Mr Inquisitor [Redux]

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Meet Mr Inquisitor [Redux]

Hello readers, and welcome to the only Post column that acts as a vehicle for my compulsive need to get attention whilst ridiculing prominent members of the h2g2 community. This week I've ventured into the dual lairs of Werekitty, possibly the weirdest person I've had the misfortune to meet (but the first ever person on my friends list. Awwww). Anyway, here's the bit you've been waiting for, this week's MMI Redux!

Somehow, I knew it was only a matter of time before you volunteered to grace my fine column. Let's just get this debacle underway then shall we? You've recently had to change your PS to a new U number haven't you? Any warnings to those Researchers out there who want to subscribe to everything?

My volunteering was a reaction to that dreadful column involving the glove puppet. *sighs* In answer to your first question:
Researchers, beware of overfilled friends lists, and don't subscribe to busy page. And remember that the unsubscribe button is your friend. And don't commit to too many things. In fact, don't do anything. Just sit right there at your desk and put your hands palm down on the table where they're easily visible.

Right. Next question Psycorp... Why is your name Psycorp again?

Red Alert 2, reversing car... But I ask the questions here, not you. You are, or were, or perhaps will be one of the most active members of the hootoo community, but you have a grand total of 0 Edited Entries and 0 Post columns. Isn't about time you stopped being so lazy and gave something back?

Excuse me /MR/ Psycorp. Isn't it about time you got your facts right? I do have one Edited Entry thank-you very much. With this level of questioning you may as well as let me ask them *sighs*.

Yeah, but you needed Phil, KerrAvon, Master B and Sprout to help with that! Besides, stop dissenting. The reader(s) won't like it. Before I forget, I'm going to have to deploy the Fight Question™... This week's combatants for you to mull over are the irritating young wizard Harry Potter and the irritating young Force-user Anakin Skywalker1?

Ooh. That's a tough one. Well Andrew, in a real situation I think Harry would apparate a big cobra in Anakin's speeder cockpit that would begin to throttle him to death, causing his speeder to veer wildly towards Harry's broomstick. The resultant crash would send them hurtling in a tragic spinning spiral of death to crash gorily (note to self - check spelling of gorily2) into the landscape below.

Well Jo, seeing as we now appear to be on first name terms, let's get controversial. Who and what really winds you up, I mean what gets your blood boiling?

Who really winds me up? Justin Timberlake is pretty annoying. And those S-Club 7 Kids give me the fear like nothing else. As to what winds me up... well. Most things to tell you the truth. Global warming, war, sexism, ringpull bean tins (especially when the ring breaks), headaches and having to tidy my room are among the lead runners though.

I think you'll find that they're called S-Club Eight or S-Club Juniors. Fool. Anyway, HPB (who is now the most mentioned researcher in this fine column) claims that I've attempted to steal his style, with my 'meh'ing and the use of the ™ symbol. You had a big rant at him about hairy legs, I seem to remember. Care to elaborate on your views that leg-hair being seen as unattractive is proof of male chauvinism?

Yes... he was winding me up at that point *mutters something about HPB*. Well. Being a werecat this is naturally an issue close to my heart. I just find the whole issue of women being expected to be beautiful (makeup, bald legs, all that stuff), when men aren't, irritating. Like I find the whole women are 'slutty' guys are 'players' annoying too. It's not male chauvinism though, it's inherent in our society, everyone has this attitude. Women's average pay is still lower than men's (although it's equalising slowly - it's about 70/80 percent of a guys atm). I'll continue being annoyed until women are full equals in this society... hard considering many women like playing up to the whole pretty and helpless thing... 'oh it's too complicated for me.. can you help?' *flutters eyelashes*.

But you also disagree with the rabid feminists who want to change words like 'History' to 'Herstory' and stuff like that don't you?

I think it would be nice to have some non-gender specific words... but I don't believe that women are superior to men... smiley - erm though this may be flying in the face of all available evidence.

Well. I'm bored of you ranting, and you've been whining because I've put you on a backburner while I try and pass my A-Levels, so disregarding my whole future, and using Awix's MMI interviews as inspiration, here's my question the seventh;

In his B-Side masterpiece Carry Us All, Noel Gallagher said 'Everybody's gone for a quick sure-fire solution, but faith in any god will only bury us all.' Is religion, in your opinion, a quick excuse for people not to have to change anything on Earth because it'll be better in the afterlife anyway?


Well. The sheer depth of your answer there has sent me reeling, so whilst I gather my wits for the final question of the interview, I'll throw you the space filler of tradition. Is there anything on h2g2 you're working on that you'd like to advertise, or anything you'd just like to shamelessly plug in general?

smiley - biggrin I aim to please.

Pluggin eh? Well I want to get my donkey moving on the Terry Pratchett Cathedral, so anyone willing to chase me with a cattleprod on that score will be appreciated (thankyou Atlantic Cable...) and same to the Lord of the Rings Roleplay I'm conceiving. Any constructive comments on what kind of scenarios n stuff that would make it fun would also be appreciated. Anything else you can find on my old page - smiley - zen

Well, there you go. Unfortunately, because I could fill pages and pages of this talking to you3, it's time for our last question. Now you should know what it is because it's always been this, although I always copy and paste it because I can't remember the exact wording... What? Where was I? Oh yeah; What's the most important thing you've learned through being a member of h2g2?

That no matter how weird or freakish I seem to other people, I can always find someone stranger on the internet. Thankyou Andy.

No, wait, stop. You can't say that. I said that4. You're not me! It means the Universe will collapse in on itself or something, you need to do something original! So I ask again, what's the most important thing you've learned through being a member of h2g2?

Ah. Sorry. I didn't remember you saying that. At least I put it better. Ok. Um... The most important thing I've learned through being a member of h2g2 is that... parents can yell at you an awful lot when you spend far too much time on the internet... but it's worth it for quality electronic time with some really nice people. Hows that?

It's wonderful. And Magical.


Anyway, that's me for another week. In the near future expect to see the original Mr Inquisitor returning to the fray for one or two interviews while I (hopefully) go on my holidays, and an interview with Asmodai Dark, the bane of Moderators, Jedi and Post Deadlines. Oh, and if you want to volunteer for hopelessly pointless questioning,
email Shazz.

Until next time, I've been Mr Inquisitor. Toodle-pipski!

Meet Mr Inquisitor Archive


with Werekitty

08.07.04 Front Page

Back Issue Page

1In Episode one, before he becomes the older, more badly acted and infinitely more irritating 'Anakin – The High School Years', or Darth Vader.2It's gorily, Psyc.3Anyone stealing my laptop and reading the chatlogs will see that's true...4From my interview with Awix: 'exposure to other h2g2ers such as Werekitty and reading some of the Post articles every week which shows me that maybe, just maybe, there are people out there a bit weirder than I am.'

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