h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Surely no entry about Largs can be complete without mention of Millport, final destination of many a school trip when I was a wee laddie.

Is it still there or has it been:
a) Sunk beneath the waves in freak, El-Nino style weather
b) been taken over by the govt to conduct nerve gas research

Sorry to have such a go, but i fcuking hate Millport.

I have some fond memories of Largs too, mainly involving eating ice cream (obviously) playing in the amusement arcades and eating fish'n'chips.

And surely one of the best things ever to come out of Largs has to be Daniela Nardini, the gorgeous, pouting, chain-smoking star of TV's This Life.

I used to work in Nardinis and used to witness the Daniela free ice cream phenomenon before her days of glory. Also witnessed her snogging the face of some random bloke two years back in a pub in town.

High power showbiz gossip, pussycats.

Millport, still there, still baws.

Largs, also still there, also still baws.

Actually, I once got really ratted in Millport at September weekend and woke up on the beach next morning with absolutely no idea where I was.

Also visited the chinky on the front while very stoned.

Oh dear.

If you ever see any "Silly String" on the pavements at Millport, that was us. My classmates I think had competitions to see who could spray the most of that gooey stuff all over Millport on our annual schooltrip (yes, they still make us go there).