h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*sneaks aboard*

is there any food here?

maaaaaaaaaaybe...

*yelps*

Are you everywhere??

*Covers face with a paw *

So, what is there here that I can wreck??

*looks around*

(desciption of surroundings wanted)

what...more than one of me...ABSURD...of course there's only one of me......*blatantly steals one of EvilClaw's lines*
LOOK A DISTRACTION!!!!
*points*
*fails to run away*
DRAT...anywho...
...well over there there's a......no...that's already broken...well then there's the...no...ah...here we go...I have this P.I.N.A.T.A. (Purple Intrinsic Number Analyser That Analyses)...
*accidentally drops PINATA*
oh..great...now all I have is this C.A.N.D.I.E. (Cruddy Analyser Now Destroyed In Earnest)...there's a room with a bunch of oddly shaped dust covers somewhere around here...there's also EvilClaw's house...that's a good place to find things to destroy ...

HA HA HA

...myes...thats right MEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

*decides to try to something here at least before going on to evilclaw's*

so where exactly am i??

...well you are on the Shadow Ship Excelsior...and you can call me Mr. Obvious...

*smashes strange sign*

...what strange sign...

the "we permit strange languages" sign!!

*runs up stairs to wreak MORE havoc*

...oh...that sign...
*walks into the dust cloth storage room*
*rummages through several piles of dust covers*
*walks out with a new "Se Prohibe Lenguas Extranas" sign...and a quarter...*

*throws bomb into dust cloth storage room*



*smashes second strange sign*


*again*

...
*presses button*
*all the toilets flush in EvilClaw's house*
...I never get sick of that
*bomb goes off*
*the explosion is stifled under the large numbers of heavy dust covers...*

*enters collection room*

astalavista cow-bells!!

*uses cow - bells for target practive*

...
*steps in the room with a Gauss Ion Cannon*
*disides to use BL as target practice*
*charges the cannons giant capacitors...*

*puts cow bell over moo's head and takes cannon*

it'll all end in tears - oh well

*runs out door way and up stairs*

...erm...you...er...know...that canon is kinda heavy...I mean...it's at least a ton...and I have more of them...

*drops cannon on moo*

...you forget or perhaps never knew of my super powers...like the ability to lift heavy objects as if they were not heavy objects but were in fact light objects...regardless of the fact that they are indeed heavy object...