h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

They say the old ones are the best ones - and some of the older joke scenarios are reinvented for each new generation.

I know it's counter-productive trying to analyse jokes, but there are a few obvious categorisations, including these two:

1) Turning a situation on its head:

A man walks into surgery with a vulture on his head.
Doctor: 'What can I do for you?'
Vulture: 'Get this man off my feet'.

2) The pun / play on words

I've got a stepladder at home.
My real ladder left home when I was a kid!

Any more examples?

3) The oblivious person. eg. Basil Fawlty, Inspector Clouseau, George W.
A sub genre would be many ethnic jokes, now considered offensive and so converted to imaginary tribes such as Blondes.

4) People you hate. Now converted to Lawyer jokes.
My favorite "A doctor and a lawyer trapped on a desert island are walking the beach when they come upon a new castaway. Sprawled on the sand, unconcious, cut and bruised from the jagged reef is a beautiful young woman clad only in a bikini bottom. The doctor says 'This is our lucky day, I can treat her injuries and then you and I can (your euphemism here) her.' The lawyer looks at the the woman, then looks at the doctor with a puzzled 'Out of what?' "

5) Cruelty jokes. Mostly just slapstick now.

6)Long jokes. Jokes that are funny because they are very long.

7) One liner - punch line is delivered almost immediately

8) Mime - the only time I laughed at that was when Kenny Everett used to do it.

9) Visual gag - probably linked to slapstick but there are more subtle visuals

Long jokes? Do you mean postmodernist novels?

10) Jokes that get Yikes'd and pulled for violating House Rules

Jokes that only work when written:

There are 10 types of people in the world - those that understand binary and those that don't.


Jokes that are self-demonstrating:


A: I say I say I say, what is the secret of good comedy?
B: I don't know, what is the secret of good com...

A: Timing.

Jokes are actually part of the expirment being carried out by the mice.

Unfortunately, the mice can't spell

I don't know how you'd categorise the "Irish Knock-Knock Joke".

(I'm probably not allowed to say Irish in this context, so let's sanitise it...)

Person 1: "Have you heard the Blonde Knock-Knock Joke?"
Person 2: "No, please tell me."
Person 1: "You start."
Person 2: "Knock Knock"
Person 1: "Who's there?"
Person 2:

Bad aim jokes. These are popular in the States where shooting skill is revered.

'He couldn't hit the broad side of a barn if it fell on him.'

'He couldn't hit the side of a barn if he was shooting from inside.'

'He couldn't hit the water if he fell out of a boat.'

My 18-month-old tells Knock Knock jokes. They don't have a punchline at all but she finds them very funny. The rest of us find her very funny when she tells them, so it might be a while before she realises she's missing something out.

From the chicken/road thread...

Anti-jokes. Jokes that are funny because they aren't very funny.

Genie, Three wishes. Angus wobbling home from the pub.....

You know the rest, still my favorite.

What do men like Joan Collins to put behind her ears?






Her ankles

Most children's jokes fall into the unfunny category. They don't seem to be able to grasp humour until they're seven or eight, and then it's a slow process.

Jokes that make no sense at all. (they must be jokes because they're funny)
2 of my favourites:

A man goes into a bakers shop and says 'I'd like a loaf of bread please'.
'Brown bread or white bread sir?'
'It doesn't matter I have my bicycle outside'.


What's the difference between a duck?
One of it's legs is both the same.


L.