h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I laughed.....
I have only one addition to make (from bitter experience) and it is this.
After the saliva covered pill slips from between your fingers for about the ninth time onto the floor and you are on your hands and knees looking for it comes as something of a surprise to see the cat running off with it chewing the damn thing as if it were fish!

And as for Hamsters bei9ng a safe option, Now there is a story. Push me and I'll tell (for a ) though you might

*Hands over expectently*

<BB<

Well I have cats as you have probably guessed and while I can realte to them as they are arrogant and lazy they just are not as entertaining as Hamsters. In 10 years of cat ownership about the only interesting thing they have ever done is bolt through the cat flap like their life depended upon it at the first sign of snow ('You should bloody see what's out there') <>, Thanks for the towel landlord.

Hamsters having said that are a different kettle of fish. As an aside from the main story did you know that they could climb wallpaper, seriously, and not just an inch or two; we are talking climbing the wallpaper and walking across the curtain poles, to be fair it was flecked wallpaper with a little bit of relief pattern to hold onto but still I was not expecting to have to shut all windows when letting the hamsters out. We had two hamsters a boy and a girl and in the end they had to have separatee cages as the female tried to kill the male. On this first occassion the male upon walking across the curtain pole fell down, we of course rushed to see if he was allright but could not find him. It was then we realised that the window was open and maybe, just maybe, he had fallen out of the window. It is at this point that i must point out to the reader that we lived at this stage in a first floor bedsit. So after exhausting ourselves looking all around the bedsit we decided that the only place he could possibly have gone was outside and onto the main approach road into Wolverhampton. So we spent a good while trudging up and down Tettenhall Road looking in other peoples and our own garden. Needless to say we did not find him there. We did however find him later that evening miraculously alive and pacing up and down inside the fridge.

The females are not so shy either, on another occasion myself and my partner had been 'involved with each other' and after the act my partner went to make a drink. As I previously stated we lived in a bedsit so the kitchen was in the living room was in the bedroom etc and so when she let the Hamsters out it was normal that within seconds they had climbed onto the bed and slid down the mirror which she had laid against for this purpose. After a while the female hamster started to stalk across the bed clothes from the bottom of the bed. I was lain flat with the blankets around my chest. As the hamster walked across my kness I raised them, not really, it has to be said, thinking through my actions. Well some things in life are certain just as the power of my kness raised the hamster into the air so the force of gravity coupled with a sudden loss of balance on the hamsters part forced it to slide down the furrow of the duvet created by my thighs (which had by this part ridden substantially slower down than my chest). To cut a long story short she just grabbed on for anything that she could to break her fall. It was unfortunate for me that it was my penis and her teeth that were the operative organs. Due to the excess blood that was still at this time in the affected area. I swear to you that I jumped out of bed so fast but upon standing there watching this fountain of blood pouring out I did what anyone else in this instance would have done. Laughed, and Laughed, and laughed that this could only have happened to me. Needless to say that everyone at the hospital found this whole episode extremely interesting though for some reason none of them could stay in the room with me for very long and they all looked as if they were struggling to keep thier composure.