h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hello all! Um, what would the puzzle be? I'm a dab hand at this kind of stuff...

Ummm, YK, that's the ~frame~ from a mirror. You're going to have to use the prism or crystal jar if you want to redirect the light.


Uncle Heavy, check back thru GL's last few posts. There is some sort of quiz/intelligence test being given in order to access the Halzone Central Archives. You can try to reach him with your secret decoder ring.


Affy, you never know what you might need on an adventure like this. That's why I wore my safari jacket. I've got a lot of stuff in these pockets. If you need anything, just ask. I might very well have it here somewhere.

*Some writing fades onto the wall just below the problem. GL translates quickly (he is getting used to Standard Galactic):

"Answer required before timer runs out. Or else."

An image of an hourglass fades onto the wall, with sand running through it. GL estimates that the sand will have run out in about an hour.*

Okay, YQ. If you can't solve it in half an hour, I'll let the others have a chance, then I'll answer it myself before the time runs out.

*GL speaks into his comm-ring.*

Affy - buff the coin to a shine on your clothing, then use it to reflect the beam of light where you want it. Alternatively, you could use the prism to refract the beam where you want it - since the beam is purple light, it won't separate any further. Or, you could put the jar so that the beam of light enters the mouth of the jar. When the jar is full of light, put the lid on and carry it over to the pedestal. Then, open the jar and pour the light out on the device.

*The lift or pod or whatever it is finally comes to a halt. As Lil lets go of the wall and Elvis finishes his second doughnut, a panel slides open before them. Lil follows Elvis into a room, sumptuously furnished in Antebellum style to the point of being overdone*

*A smallish man stands at a floor to ceiling window. Looking past him, Lil sees out and down to the central square surrounded by crystal spires where sits Grace. As she watches, Ampton disembarks and looks around. Seeing nobody, he furtively lights a cigarette*

*The man turns as Lil and Elvis walk in. He is wearing a cowboy hat and string tie, a white suit and a slightly sour expression*

[Elvis] *setting down the sack and covering it with his cape* Hi boss. Wancha ta meet Miz Lil, who found mah luggage. Miz Lil, Colonel Tom, Colonel Tom, Miz Lil.

[Lil] *to CT* Charmed I'm sure. *to Elvis* I thought you were going to take me somewhere improbable!

[Colonel Tom] Pleasure's mine. Elvis, what kinda party you brought with you this time? The IRS? They're drilling straight into the central database. One more question answered and they'll have outer level access! When you start hangin out with aighayids?

*Down below in the square, Ampton takes one long last drag on his cigarette, drops it, stubs it out, then pockets the end. He then looks up and carefully surveys the entire square, his oblong head rotating at a steady rate*

*Lil takes note of the oversize desk with chippendale feet and the grecian urns on side tables and the oriental rugs and white marble, the weird mixture of classical and Victorian elements that made plantation style so distinctive* I guess this is pretty improbable, after all...

D'oh.


[YQ] I give up.

Sorry everyone, but so far no one's gotten the Pedestal Puzzle correct. Here's a hint (even if it'll only help classic adventure players who memorize IF games): the crystal jar is important, but only because of a special kind of liquid inside it, just like the mirror frame is important.

Okay, as for the last security access puzzle, let me think. I believe that the trains were forty miles apart, and that the bee was going fifty MPH, right? I'll have to read the backlog to see where the bee started from, although I'm not sure if it'll matter. It might, though, so I should probably read it...


*Affy munches the nutri-grain bar some more. KL is content eating a pomegranite that he pulled out of his cloak*

Just what is in that jar, Affy?

And yes, you got the answer right! The trains crashed after travelling an hour. One train was travelling 25 mph, so it had travelled 25 miles. The other train was travelling at 15mph, so it had travelled 15 miles. Thus they must have started out 25 + 15 = 40 miles apart. The fly was flying that whole hour at 50 mph. Thus, it must have travelled 50 miles.


*GL types "50" on the keyboard. The hourglass and the writing on the wall fade out and another message, written in green, fades onto the wall. The message translates as: "Level 1 Access Granted". GL grins and rubs his hands in anticipation. The message fades out and a menu of choices fades in. GL selects "Current Projects" from the menu and is rewarded with a new menu. GL scans down the list of choices, but doesn't recognise the names listed until near the bottom he sees the word "Earth". He selects that choice and is again rewarded with a menu. GL starts at the top with the first menu choice: "Progress to Date". As expected, he gets another menu - this time a list of Phases. GL selects "Phase I" and then "Executive summary" from the next menu. This time, a paragraph of text fades onto the wall.

"Clandestine operatives Colonel and Elvis successfully transported to target planet and assimilated into local culture. Reporting was sporadic, but valuable. Operatives active for 25 years before irregularities in their reports prompted an investigation. Investigator Hoover discovered that the operatives, despite their orders to observe anonymously, had become celebrities. He organized their withdrawal and their subsequent relegation to bureaucratic functions. Phase I was abandoned and Phase II planning was commenced. The outstanding issue of operative Elvis' lost luggage remains unsolved."*

Whoa!

[YQ] Holy Zarquon's singing fish! This is BIG!

BONG BONG BONG BONNGGGGG

*A westminster chime sounds on the Colonel's wide desk followed by a sultry voice*

"Level 1 Access attained by intruders, sir. Action directive requested."

*The colonel rubs his chin thoughtfully as Elvis lowers himself into a stuffed velvet armchairs next to the sack of doughnuts. Down in the square Ampton can be seen walking decisively toward one of the buildings, not the one our heroes chose*

Well I tell ya, they find out much more about the operation we got goin' here and you're gonna have permanent guests, young man. No way can they go back to Earth.

[Lil, somewhat consternated] I need a drink.

*Colonel Parker goes over to his desk and presses a button that up to this moment Lil had thought was a mouldy doughnut* Computer! Put another three puzzles in line for Level 2 Access, willya? Make the first one wordy and gimme a prinout. And send in two mint juleps and a diet coke.

*After a couple of moments a butler slides in, metaphorically speaking, bearing a tray with 3 tall drinks and a piece of paper on which is written the following:

There are 25 jealous people who live on one floor of a very strange apartment building. On this floor are 25 apartments laid out in a five by five grid. So, if you draw this grid, the square in the upper left-hand corner is one, and the one next to it is two, three, four, five, and then the line below that is six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, all the way to 25. Now, each person who lives on the floor aspires to move into the apartment of one of his adjacent neighbors. So number one can move to square number two, or number six, for example. But not diagonally. Number two can move to number one. Or number three, or number seven. What is the fewest number of total moves that will allow every person to move to an adjacent square?

*Lil grabs a julep and the printout* Well I don't know the answer, but I have every faith in ... my friends.

Er, Lil, somehow I think we /earned/ our way to the security level. How come you're complainin'?

err...lateral thinking...err

The post I read from GL said he got level one access. Where am I going wrong here?


Most interesting use of continuity as a tool in this adventure, wouldn't y'all say?

Didn't Elvis just celebrate a birthday recently?

*WM pulls out her PDA and does a quick db search.*

Here it is... January 8, 1935. Well, that would be his ~Earth~ birthday, anyway.


Lil, would you pass on my regards to the King, please? I do believe the man just celebrated his 65th birthday. I wonder where the Social Security Administration is sending his benefits.

*Switches her PDA to calculator mode.*

Ummm, that would be his 66th birthday.

*Based on GL's inquiries, Affy opens up the jar revealing a great deal of some strange liquid. Just for fun, Affy holds the jar upside down, but the liquid is perfectly happy where it is. There's also some kind of strange circle on a stick inside the liquid*


Okay, I think GL's gonna get this one (it's an unfair puzzle, realy). GL, this is a crystal jar that I got when I was adventuring in Zork in the year 966. I was questing for the Coconut of Quendor when I located this jar in the hands of the current ruler of the platypusses. Platypi? No, wait, platypusses. Platypi's if it were Greek. I think.

...

Ditto.

errr...

You're right, Affy, it /is/ unfair.

Oh, come now. You're not even asking what the liquid does.