h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*The glass creature slowly moves sideways, its back against a wall, until it reaches a cabinet. Without taking its stoppers off of the others, it reaches behind itself and pulls a Speak N Spell out of the cupboard. It painstakingly types out a word on the keyboard, and the Speak N Spell says the word out loud.*


no


*Again, the glass creature types out a word*


hurt


*Typing*


me


*The creature looks quizzically, and a bit suspiciously, at the group.*

We won't.

I can't!

*HAs been regarding the mufflewhumps with astonishment* And all this time I thought they were something you ate.

*Looks up as the entiry speaks* Oh! Cute! I wonder if the Star would like it. *Shakes herself* No, of course not, all that delicate glass, what am I thinking.

I wonder, has it been hurt before? Seems like it has, the way it is acting.

Even if it hasn't, living in a lab, it must've seen things dropped--sort of like how I get less than rational when there's open flames about.

I thought this might be a good time to copy-and-paste the mufflewhump description from my PS:

A mufflewhump is whatever you want it to be, but it's always very wonderful. Therefore, mufflewhumps are the best gifts... They stay in their balls-of-unrealized-potential state (Looking like sparkly rainbow dustbunnies) until taken up by (or given to) someone who has a definite want, either conscious or unconscious. Mufflewhumps can become nearly anything (Most common seem to be foodstuff or pets)--the only limitations are that they can't become something sentient or something that can be used against the interests of the giver. They're quite handy, as well as being great gifts--I've often picked one up while concentrating and gotten things I need here on h2g2.

Awww, poor thing! It's as afraid of us as we are of it!

*lands on the floor in front of it and slowly walks towards it, eminating as much fairy-love as she can*

*The glass creature relaxes a little on the reassurances of the group. It points to another corner, behind a bench, where there is a pile of broken glass mixed with rubber tubing and stoppers.*


My friend

Oh, my.

More friends? Oh, how exciting!*

*skips across to the new friend*

Hi, I'm Vip. Do you mind if we call you... uh...< erm> Hum. I've never had occasion to name an object so... delightful as yourself. Perhaps your friend can tell us your names?

*turns back to the original creature*




*Apologies for the childlike manner this character is developing...

What are Garius and Affy doing with a Speak n Spell in the lab??

*floats over to the glass entity* Were you made here? Or brought here?

*The pile of broken glass mixed with rubber tubes and stoppers does not respond to Vip, since it is ~broken~ glass. *

*The glass creature types away on the Speak n Spell.*


Woke up here. On bench. No body. No legs. No arms. Made self. Made friend.


Name


*The creature points to some writing on the back of its flask - in grease pencil, almost worn off: "Lifeforce expt #974632942 - crystalized crepuscular brownie mould" *


Can call me Crystal

*looks at the pile of broken glass mournfully*

You can rely on us not to hurt you, Crystal. What happened to your friend?

*sound of switch flipping, accompanied by a disgruntled, cranky sort of growl and followed by the sound of a toilet flushing*

Bloody useful, that is, isn't it? Why the heck did we put so many switches here? Oh yeah, to confuse and annoy intruders. Well I'm good and annoyed now, and I'M NOT AN INTRUDER! And anyway, why aren't the lights coming on for me automatically like they usually do?

*sigh*

Okay, one last try, then I'm giving up.

*Sound of switch flipping*

Oh thank goodness! Lights finally. Now, to see if my keys are here.

*sound of papers shuffling, drawers opening, carpet lifting.*

Dang! Not here. And I'm not going through this again. I need to find another way in. Wish I could remember the route through the maze. It's a long way through, but at least if you make it alive, you get in.

*long pause*

Hmmmm, I wonder....

*A seperate set of intercom speakers crackles quietly*


*cracklehiss*...fsherl rry to take up public channels again, but it's getting tougher to allocate power. If ysssssssssssssssssssear me, I'm still in Rodnak. Anyway, they're still promkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkions and millions of points' worth of treasure if I can solve their problem, so we can't*crackles for a while*ake sure there's power left when I lea*SNAPCRACKLEPOP*ace the Rodnak Transfera*hissssssssssssss*dnak. Which reminds me of a joke, actually. Did you ever hear the one about the boar in the forest of the sp*crackle*

* catches up after having a stop in the Ladies Room *

Well, Crystal, nice to meet you! I'm V.
You did a fine job of assembling youself and your friend, and I admire your chemical and heat resistant properties, but the brittleness is a problem. I'm sorry about your friend's broken glass.

Is there anything we can do to help?

I'm so very sorry about your friend, Crystal. I wish I could have met them.

*Runes is trying not to stare, but it keeps getting caught up in the intricacies of Crystal's structure*

*has had her ear to the intercom, trying to decipher the latest message*

SpeaknSpells, and these rinky-dink speakers in the intercoms... now I feel really bad about forgetting to pay the rent for the past 5 years.

Oh dear! Poor thing..

*worries*

We have some decisions to make. They will be easier if Crystal wants to come with us. We're just going to let Garius in -- how hard can that be?

*meanwhile, in the security office, another hand has been dealt, and the flop reveals an 8 of hearts, 9 of hearts, and a ten of hearts*

If we can get in the door, we'll be in the receiving and warehouse area. There's bound to be bubble wrap! And we can fashion some sort of protective covering for Crystal.

*floats over to the door, inserts the key with two red stripes and turns it*