h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Makes final adjustments to Brownian Motion Inducer and Neutrino Burst Injector*

Now, to begin work on the most devilish mechanism of our new machine, the QED!!! So advanced, I needed to make another schematic sheet for it!

*Shows new schematic sheet*

Now, this is modelled after the old QED (Quantum Explosion Dynamo) which, when at full power and connected to four certain machines which I will not name for fear of an accident, could feasibly blow up the galaxy. However, this QED will only produce smaller explosions that could blow up only a small chuck of Mt. Sandcastle. Perhaps I should make sure that it won't possibly hit the donut stall, though . . .

*Begins working on the Exploso-Dome, part of the QED*

*Looks at new schematics. Studies pile of instuments on bench. Attaches several together and solders on a red, a black and a green wire. Hands finished product to Affy.*

I think that should do for the blasticizer.

*Examins*

Hmmm. Yes, that should do!

*Starts working on the aerodynamic fins*

*Walks over to UFO and dissapears inside. Sounds of screeching saw. Walks out with leather bucket seat.*

That's one.

*Repeats process.*

That's two.

*Begins adapting fittings for attaching chairs.*

*Finsishes welding the fins and screwing in the chairs*

Well, that should do it. A UFO that can lift up to 40 tons. Should make transporting doughnuts easier.

*Hops in*

Lemme see how this thing rides.

*Turns ignition key . . .

*Hops into the co-pilot's seat.*

I'll wait until we've done one circuit of the Beach before I try any of our special effects. That way you can get used to the flight controls.

*Flips switch to turn on the hover-unit*

Hey, it works! Ha! Now, for a brief spin 'round the Beach, and then we'll think of something fun to do with it. Possibly fly to the top of Mt. SandEverst before anyone else notices. Although, that wouldn't be too nice of us. Hmmmm. Maybe we could buzz the softball field, or something . . .

*Hovers out of Crater, turns on cloaking mechanism, and begins flying around the Beach*

You're not trying to cheat are you

No, we're just trying to excite a few people. You know, land in front of some poor soul who no one's ever going to believe, and send out a few robots to make "BEEP-BEEP" noises. Or something else that we can think of.

*Decides to try out some of the special effects. Pushes the button marked 'water bomb', next to the button marked 'eject'. A "sproing" sound is heard from the back. Turns around in time to see Ampton thrown into the air.*

Damn. Must have crossed those wires. Better turn around an catch him, Affy, before he hits the ground.

You know the best part of a UFO? You don't waste any time reversing.

*Instantly zooms backward. Opens up passenger hatch airlock and catches Ampton*

That should do it. Where to now? Help save the galaxy from the Terrible Somethings?

Hallo? Hallo? It's the float designer you requested. Hallo?



*pushes half-open door inward, and peers in. Eyes widen with interest*

Ooh, look at all the pretty coloured wires!

*A small blue light blinks on the instrument panel*

Hey Affy, someone just entered the Lab. Want to head back, or do you think they'll be content to wait awhile and have some punch and doughnuts?

As for saving the universe, this UFO could probably come in handy. Eddy would probably let us have it there and other places at the same time. (Eddy of the space/time continuum). He lets us be in several places in Damogran at the same time.

*As the UFO flys over a deserted part of H2G2, GL presses the "eject" button and looks out the side window. A large blue balloon can be seen dropping below the UFO. It hits the ground with a satisfying "SSSPPPLLLOOOSSSHHH".*

Yeeeeeehaaaaaaaa!

*hears a chiming noise, sees a blinking blue light*
*wanders over to instrument panel as a small piece of paper pops out of slot*
*reads* "Your arrival has been noted. Please make yourself at home until a member of staff is available to help you."
*sees doughnuts and punch*
*sees nice black leather executive chair*
Hm, OK. Man, what a lot of fabulous junk. This is like the property room of a Lucas film or something. Ooh, a real jacob's ladder! Ow!
*retreats to chair with punch and doughnut, sucking finger*

*Lil has sat for quite a while. Four glasses of punch, half a dozen doughnuts have been consumed. She has also read part of the paperback book sitting on the desk. She is afraid to touch anything else.*

*Realizing that a thread this long is difficult to load at the best of times, she resolves to leave the intrepid inventors a message on a new thread at this page, and leave them to their experiments until they have time to speak to her.
http://www.h2g2.com/forumframe.cgi?forum=32669&thread=43875

Lil

*Considers*

Garius, we should turn around. Eddie will let us be in both places at once, I'm fairly sure. So, let's turn around and talk to Lil.

*Instantaneous turn around*