h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Nice, fUN, pAGE - i LIKE IT. aS YOU CAN SEE i HAVE TROUBLE WITH my cAPITOLS. hAVE YOU GOT AN ANWER TO MY PROBLEM. i HATE BEING BACK TO FRONT, i JUST CANT FIND THE LOWER CASE OF MY MIND. dO YOU THINK IT IS IN MY SUBCONSCIOUS.
yOURS
hYPNO

Hello there.

I can see your problem. In fact, using reverse casing primarily serves to cause other people annoyance. Perhaps that is really what you are - subconciously - trying to do. Do you feel like punishing other Guide-researchers? Or do you just like to be a menace?
It could also be a case of neural reverse, in which case surgery is the only solution. (Anybody got a pair of scissors?)
Or mental reverse, in which case there's a long treatment and many long-hour-therapy-sessions in it for you and LOTS of money in salary for me. Or some other therapist.

Now, that was naturally only a joke, as this site offers FREE counsel. Nice, huh? So I'll try my best to help you here, but it may take some time.

I am considering on-line regression hypnosis, but I'm not sure you'd buy into that.
Perhaps I should just medicate you?
I'll have to consider this while you spend some time answering the above question about any desires to annoy people.
Also try to consider WHY you only regress into case-reversion when on the counsel-string?
Could this be a subconsious plea for help? Or are you just having a thing with annoying authorities? Hey, we could be approaching a diagnosis here...

I'll stop now, partially to think, partially to let you answer and partially because I don't like presenting a full diagnosis too early in the progress. (If, in deed, there is any progress!)

Write you soon, right?

Your counsellor
KimotoCat

hI kc

i AM GLAD YOU CAN SEE MY PROBLEM. dO YOU REALLY THINK i WOULD ANNOY PEOPLE THIS WAY. hAVE i ANNOYED YOU? - i HOPE NOT.

I cannot afford LONG TERM THERAPY and if you have visited my page, yOU WILL HAVE noticed my interests - I have only written one page as yet - tell me what you think ( Oooo I am typing correctly) - Must be all I needed, to talk to someone or cos you frightened me by offering medication.

I think you caught me out - arn't I naughty - perhaps seeing some of my other postings helped you a little

I blame my father for my conflict with authority - There - I'm just a useless case of inferior complex anxietites.

Leaves forum with tail between his legs

hypno

GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!

And the tail... (I figured I was the only one with such one...)

I'll have to do some more counselling!

I iz ear

Need your ear I don't.

Need yours mouth in gear I do.

Talk you should, about what bothers you, annoys you, thrills you or even bore you.

Listen I will.

And - perhaps - grant good and valuable (heh) counsel I will.

ME counsellor.

YOU client.

Comprende? Yes? Verstanden?

Good, now get your mouth - erf, keyboard - in gear!

Well my daddy didnt really understand me - I was a boy and he wanted a man I was an awkward kid and and made many mistakes , My daddies favourite sayings were - Use them grey cells between your ears if I made a mistake at work and said the words I thought it would be better to do something a certain way he'd say ' you are not paid to think'

I am just an inferior being and not worth it - I'm wasting your time

Slinks offfff-der forum again - to afraid to go on. muttering

Im a wimp - I'm a wimp - I'm a wimp. sniff

gone

Come now.

There's no need to be sad. In fact, from what I read you are not as seriously a mental case as I had hoped for. Erhm... Anyway, you seem to be qúite normal, if that's any comfort.

Feeling a bit upset? Hey, it's normal these days!

You still may need ccounsel though, you see, that's also normal.

Tell your old man to stay out of your use of your brain cells. After all, they ARE your property and YOU can do whatever you like to them. Even abuse them on H2G2! (Now, THAT'S freedom!)

Please tell me what bothers you the most so we can start working on this.

Your counsellor
KimotoCat

-Wo is obviously also not normal and thus perfectly normal!

Its difficult to tell my old man to keep out - he has been dead for 5/6 years, But my mummy still luvs me her name was Eady Puss and she thought of changing it to Cass Straight. I said it sounds to complexed so she decided on P. Nassinvie - now where is my pipe I need some Oral satisfaction.

As smoke belches from my nostrels - I turn into a dragon and fly out of the window of life and see before me the bright light of anxiety with the rain pitter pattering all around. Just born to be silly

hypno

I think you'd better get used to the idea off coming here a LOT!

Try to rant some more and then I'll see what I can make of it.

Yours (as a loan)
KimotoCat

Well !

On flying out of the window of life, I find myself flying over the pastures and meadows - they are far below me. I see a mountain ahead and decide to land on the top of it. There is a pathway winding its way down to the valley with a stream running through it. I become myself again and start to stroll down the pathway, leading to the stream in the valley below..

As I decend the hill following the pathway and where it leads. I come across a gate which I open and walk through. Closing it behind me, I carry on decending down to the stream and the valley below. There are trees growng beside the stream and now my eys are level with the top of them - I feel like a giant, taller than the tallest tree.

I feel great and the sun is warm on my face as I go deeper into the valley, the trees now surround me and I look up and see the sun glistening and shimmering on the leaves. Small creatures are scurrying around my feet and I feel absolutely fulfilled.

Mmmmm
Could this be a symbolic representation of my life ?

hypno

Nope, that's just wishful thinking. Try to be a bit more specific.

KimotoCat

The above is just part of the induction blurb I gave when hypnotising people - it is of course a symbolic representation of being born and moving on by making love. Using the fate acomplere method.

If you think laterally it can also represent dying and moving on to heaven.

I wonder which way you took it ?

Could this be an end to councelling and a beautiful friendship
hypno

Nope - no end.

But I'll need some time to chew on it. Will be back, feel free to rant on while I'm thinking. Or drink coffee. Or both.

Your counsellor - and still friend
KimotoCat

Now Councellor KC - you are not telling me that you are speachless

Now - I cannot believe IT !!!

Ranting could lead to raving - Hows about that then. - Have a good rant and rave.

Now tell me about you, if you dare.
hypno

I am thirty years old! Thirty years AND seven months!

Your turn to say something. Be daring and I'll be daring back.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

- somebody help me!

pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaasse.



Consider:
i tHINK eVERYTHING i dO iS iNVERTED oR bACKWARD oR sOMETHING oR aT lEASt ThAT iS WHaT my mOMmY TOld me.

Nope, not impressed. Seen that before, realised that you are just reaching out for some attention.

Funny thing is - it works!

Now... truth or dare??? You decide which it shall be! But I warn you, I pick some pretty nast dares! Actually I pick some pretty nasty truths too.

But counsellors are allowed to do that, you know.

OK.












Well, which is it? Truth or Dare?

Erh...

You are supposed to pick one - I think...

If you pick truth:

Tell me what the most entertaining thing in your childhood was.

If you then choose dare, I'll get back to you.