h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

TB, it is amazing how you can manage to be offensive to everybody at the same time. Like a gift or something.

Oh I do have to put effort into it, I know I make it seemnatural, but that's only from years of practice

Well, it realio and trulio is amazing. You make it seem effortless!

Also, I'm animate and very highly ranked. Pizzzownzilla!

Have you tried bathing? That might make you a bit less rank.

Crickey! *runs off with a keg of shampoo*

*comes back*

Oy! I'm still Supreme Commmander. What's with that?

You obviously didn't use enough shampoo...are you sure it wasn't sham-poo? As that'll just make you ranker

No, it was shampoo.

well as we're onboard I'm classifying myself as being of seniority to you

Hm. How about: I'm inherently superior to you in terms of the whole army but in the realm of boats you have seniority?

Sort of that yes, and while on boats I'm in charge. I can live with that.

But whilst on my boat, while technically superior to me, you cannot order anyone around except to tell me what you want done, as the crew of this vessel fall under my command.

As senior ranking officer on board and an admiral this ship automaticly defaults to being my flag ship and falls under my command so poo on you

Well, as captain of said ship, you still have to tell me what you want done before it can be done. It's called delegation. Ever heard the saying poo floats uphill? A complaint or an order travells all the way along a big long line from the top to the bottom; from the bottom to the top.

Yes, it can, but it doesn't have to. I can issue a direct order to any member of the crew, which I belive I did. Now you can go and scrub the head, and then sand it down as splinters, especially in that area, can be mighty uncomfortable.

*Captain Jenny rubs her bottom, which is full of splinters*

Yes, I can vouch for that!

Meanwhile, as all of your direct superiors, I demand a sandwich. EvilClaws cannot live in blood alone.

So you're going to live in a sandwich, as opposed to living in a pool of blood? Or in a bloody sandwich?

I live freely comingling with the blood. And the Claw still hungry! You, you seem vaguely Jenny-ish. Make me a sammich!

*Chucks a mouldy sandwich from pocket at self-professesed in chargy person*

That's all I got.

I said make me one! I'm sad now! Off with her head! Or hands. Or something. I'm not picky.